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illustrated18

2 Stories  |  0 Followers  |  0 Following

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  • illustrated18 Mar 27th
    The Chronology of a Broken Trust (Others)
    sonalpandey
    24 comments
    14th Dec 2011

    It's good, I liked it but didn't love it. I wanted more detail, metaphors, analogy. It needs more subtle foreshadowing, and tighter dialogue, nothing that requires a major re-write of any section.

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th
    The Man and the little boy (Horror)
    Ruhani
    10 comments
    26th Mar 2012

    Nothing I haven't read before. The detail and suspense need to be there to make it something different and new.

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th
    Why (Drama)
    gauravpokhrel
    4 comments
    25th Feb 2012

    Quite difficult to get through due to the grammar, but the core is solid.

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th
    Notice Things, They Change You (Others)
    weseektheomissions
    7 comments
    27th Jan 2012

    I'll try to be a little more helpful than folks past. It's good, the visual and emotional detail are great, but the presentation of those ideas is holding it back. It doesn't quite flow naturally. Keep working because I love these kinds of stories.

illustrated18

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