...In the distance, slowly increasing in clarity: "Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP!"
My eyes slowly open inch by inch. Vision is obscured by the fogginess of the sleep that had overcome me. As the fog lifts and my eyes begin to focus, I am overwhelmed by the angelic figure sitting across from me that had abruptly ended my slumber.
I straighten my body in my chair and gaze across the table at the girl that both occupies my dreams and my nightmares. Hair that is usually a silky black, perfectly draped around her face, has been disturbed. It carried the look of a sleepless night spent tossing and turning over an idea that had infested in the mind and made sleep an impossible task. Ruffled bangs now lay stuck to her forehead from half dried tears. But those eyes. Those eyes. Even filled with sorrow, those eyes can cause even the strongest of men to be stuck in a sort of endless trance. When asked even the most simple of questions, a mere request of their color, I am lost for words. Truthfully, I�couldn't�tell you what color they were. Every time I attempt to figure that out those big beautiful eyes light up like the screen of a movie theater and the trance begins. There is no color to be seen. Merely the life that I could only dream of with this beautiful woman playing before me like some old black and white movie being projected into my mind.
She knows the effect she has on me. It may have taken words to wake me from my unconscious, but she knew it would take far less to snap me out of my trance. With the slightest curling of her lips, she produced a smile that could melt even the burliest of men.And with that, she had my full undivided attention. My sudden coherency resulted in the biggest honk of a laugh�you've�ever heard come out of her mouth and for that split second all sorrow had vanished.
I knew what this wake up call was all about. Although the way I feel for her may be apparent, it has never been spoken in words. Nor have I ever attempted to explain how intense those feelings are. Attempts to create jealousy by flaunting new "girlfriends" were utter failures and only intensified my love I have for her as the others failed to compare. But today was the day. I arranged for her to meet me here so I could finally reveal the secrets that had been killing me inside.
"You wanted to talk to me?" She asked.
"Yeah" I responded.
And then it began.
A never ending babbling of nerves and emotions began pouring from my mouth as I tried to put into words feelings that had been increasing with each passing moment I spent with her. Telling her how from the moment I saw her I just knew. I knew that each minute I`d spend with her from that moment on would be a cherished memory for the rest of my life. That if I spent every waking moment of my life being involved with hers that it would be a life well lived and one that people can only hope to strive for. And then with a deep breath, I ceased talking. What came next was the longest handful of seconds in my entire life as I waited for a response. She sat there processing my either flattering or stalkerish ramblings as I sat there dangling from a thread just hoping to rest my feet on the ground once more.
And then it began.
"Do you love me?"she stuttered?
"Love you? No, I do not love you." I whispered. "I think about all the times I`ve told someone that I love them and even though I may have felt I meant it, those feelings could never compare to what I have for you. The word love is so commonly used and there is nothing common about how deeply I care for you. There is no word to describe my feelings for you. You mean more to me than anyone has ever meant to anyone else."
As the last word escaped from my mouth her honk of a laugh enveloped the room. Fresh tears now flowed in the tracks left by the previous ones.
"Why wait this long to tell me?" She asked.
With a brief breath I answered the best I could.
"Being with you is a lot like Jenga. You`re an adrenaline rush. With every block that`s removed and with every step I take to lower my guard, the more I worry that everything could just topple over. However, I have come to realize that my fear of never knowing far surpasses my fear of rejection."
With that I was caught in a trance. As she moved closer, the more clear the picture became that was being played for me in those eyes. Everything I had ever dreamed of was no longer just a dream. It was mutual. What I longed for she longed for as well. As I lay tossing sleepless in bed, debating what action to take, she did the same. Merely inches separating lip from quivering lip, when the world began to fall apart.
...In the distance, slowly increasing in clarity: "Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP!"
My eyes slowly open inch by inch. Vision is obscured by the fogginess of the sleep that had overcome me. As the fog liftsand my eyes begin to focus, I am overwhelmed by the angelic figure sitting across from me. She rises to her feet and throws her bag over her shoulder. She reaches out her hand and it is soon met by his. Her eyes catch a hold of mine and she throws me a quick smile. Seconds later she has vanished from my sight hand in hand with someone who�isn't�me.
"We`re closing sir," echoes through my ear as the restless shopkeeper, who had awoken me, attempts to shoo me away.
It was merely a dream. A dream that has infiltrated my sleep many a times since we had first met. "I`ll tell her tomorrow," I say to myself. Tomorrow. It always falls on tomorrow.
My eyes slowly open inch by inch. Vision is obscured by the fogginess of the sleep that had overcome me. As the fog lifts and my eyes begin to focus, I am overwhelmed by the angelic figure sitting across from me that had abruptly ended my slumber.
I straighten my body in my chair and gaze across the table at the girl that both occupies my dreams and my nightmares. Hair that is usually a silky black, perfectly draped around her face, has been disturbed. It carried the look of a sleepless night spent tossing and turning over an idea that had infested in the mind and made sleep an impossible task. Ruffled bangs now lay stuck to her forehead from half dried tears. But those eyes. Those eyes. Even filled with sorrow, those eyes can cause even the strongest of men to be stuck in a sort of endless trance. When asked even the most simple of questions, a mere request of their color, I am lost for words. Truthfully, I�couldn't�tell you what color they were. Every time I attempt to figure that out those big beautiful eyes light up like the screen of a movie theater and the trance begins. There is no color to be seen. Merely the life that I could only dream of with this beautiful woman playing before me like some old black and white movie being projected into my mind.
She knows the effect she has on me. It may have taken words to wake me from my unconscious, but she knew it would take far less to snap me out of my trance. With the slightest curling of her lips, she produced a smile that could melt even the burliest of men.And with that, she had my full undivided attention. My sudden coherency resulted in the biggest honk of a laugh�you've�ever heard come out of her mouth and for that split second all sorrow had vanished.
I knew what this wake up call was all about. Although the way I feel for her may be apparent, it has never been spoken in words. Nor have I ever attempted to explain how intense those feelings are. Attempts to create jealousy by flaunting new "girlfriends" were utter failures and only intensified my love I have for her as the others failed to compare. But today was the day. I arranged for her to meet me here so I could finally reveal the secrets that had been killing me inside.
"You wanted to talk to me?" She asked.
"Yeah" I responded.
And then it began.
A never ending babbling of nerves and emotions began pouring from my mouth as I tried to put into words feelings that had been increasing with each passing moment I spent with her. Telling her how from the moment I saw her I just knew. I knew that each minute I`d spend with her from that moment on would be a cherished memory for the rest of my life. That if I spent every waking moment of my life being involved with hers that it would be a life well lived and one that people can only hope to strive for. And then with a deep breath, I ceased talking. What came next was the longest handful of seconds in my entire life as I waited for a response. She sat there processing my either flattering or stalkerish ramblings as I sat there dangling from a thread just hoping to rest my feet on the ground once more.
And then it began.
"Do you love me?"she stuttered?
"Love you? No, I do not love you." I whispered. "I think about all the times I`ve told someone that I love them and even though I may have felt I meant it, those feelings could never compare to what I have for you. The word love is so commonly used and there is nothing common about how deeply I care for you. There is no word to describe my feelings for you. You mean more to me than anyone has ever meant to anyone else."
As the last word escaped from my mouth her honk of a laugh enveloped the room. Fresh tears now flowed in the tracks left by the previous ones.
"Why wait this long to tell me?" She asked.
With a brief breath I answered the best I could.
"Being with you is a lot like Jenga. You`re an adrenaline rush. With every block that`s removed and with every step I take to lower my guard, the more I worry that everything could just topple over. However, I have come to realize that my fear of never knowing far surpasses my fear of rejection."
With that I was caught in a trance. As she moved closer, the more clear the picture became that was being played for me in those eyes. Everything I had ever dreamed of was no longer just a dream. It was mutual. What I longed for she longed for as well. As I lay tossing sleepless in bed, debating what action to take, she did the same. Merely inches separating lip from quivering lip, when the world began to fall apart.
...In the distance, slowly increasing in clarity: "Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP!"
My eyes slowly open inch by inch. Vision is obscured by the fogginess of the sleep that had overcome me. As the fog liftsand my eyes begin to focus, I am overwhelmed by the angelic figure sitting across from me. She rises to her feet and throws her bag over her shoulder. She reaches out her hand and it is soon met by his. Her eyes catch a hold of mine and she throws me a quick smile. Seconds later she has vanished from my sight hand in hand with someone who�isn't�me.
"We`re closing sir," echoes through my ear as the restless shopkeeper, who had awoken me, attempts to shoo me away.
It was merely a dream. A dream that has infiltrated my sleep many a times since we had first met. "I`ll tell her tomorrow," I say to myself. Tomorrow. It always falls on tomorrow.
Support Sev
