Layla, I'm sorry, well actually no I'm not. Well, I am sorry, but not for taking my life, I'm sorry for ruining yours while I was still with you. I didn't deserve to be with you. All I was doing was bringing you down and making you miserable, and you deserve so much better than that. Please tell our daughter that I'm sorry, but I couldn't live with all this darkness eating away at me every day. Make sure she grows up with two loving parents because I know you were cheating on me with John, and John is a great man, so I hope y'all will help raise her right and teach her to talk about her feelings and not keep everything bottled up like I did. I know I'm not a man of many words, and you never actually knew how I was feeling, so I guess I can tell you now. I loved you, I loved you so much, you were everything to me, but that love couldn't block out all the darkness I had bottled up inside of me, and it cost me dearly. There are so many things I wish I could've said and done with you and our daughter, but I just couldn't. You will find everything I've ever wanted to tell you and our daughter in my journal on my laptop. Everything I couldn't tell you because I just had this ongoing voice in my head telling me you guys don't care and that I should keep all my thoughts to myself. as i sit here writing this im realizing i couldve gotten help but i dont think any type of help can fix me because im just too broken. But as I said, I'm not a man of many words, so know I love you and our daughter, and I hope you both will lead good lives and not fall into darkness as I did.

With love, Jacob