The moon shone brightly behind the grey clouds. With it's insecurities, it hid away. I wished to be the moon that day; to hide not only from my insecurities but also from my problems. It was said that running and hiding from your problems change nothing, it just makes you ignorant and stupid.

How stupid am I then for thinking of hiding from everything?

How stupid am I to listen to a word of advice from my fake buddy?

"Maybe death isn't so scary," Sasha, my close friend, tells me, "they say death is a painful and blunt way of saying goodbye to everything you love and hate." I gazed at the shy moon and smiled, "What if there is nothing to live for, nothing to love nor hate?" Sasha glanced at me and tried to utter a word yet nothing came out of her mouth. We stared blankly into the night sky in utter silence, hoping that one of us would start up a new conversation. The clouds began to hurdle even faster and got greyer by the second.

"We should head back in the house, it might just pour," I suggested after getting up and dusting my pants from sitting on the dry grass. Sasha nodded and got up. Together, we walked through the house door. The lights were off so it probably meant that my parents went to bed. I, along with Sasha, tip-toed to my room with shaky hands. When we reached my room I sighed with relief.

"Do you want to sleep on my bed or would you rather take the floor," I asked Sasha, getting my bed prepared for the late slumber. "I don't see why I can't sleep on the same bed as you," Sasha responded enthusiastically. I got into my bed and tucked myself under my blankets, even though it was so hot. I did not mind though, as long as I hid away like the bright moon behind the dark clouds. Then, Sasha tucked herself in my bed. I closed my eyes yet I felt the need to keep one eye open for a moment-- I guess I'm exaggerating.

The next morning I woke up to hear the loud hiss of slithering snakes. At that moment I tried not to scream, or breath for that matter. I laid in my bed, as stiff as metal, hoping that they would not notice that there was a human in the bed and would only slither on the floor. I could hear my teeth chattering within my mouth.

'Death is a blunt and painful way of saying goodbye to everything you love and hate.'

I slowly tilted my head to see if Sasha was in the bed with me but she wasn't there. "Holy fuck," I muttered, "she left me... she fucking left me!" I tilted my head back to it's previous position. Now there I was, staring at my ceiling, hoping not to get bitten by snakes that I haven't even seen yet! Yes! "Let me just see where the snakes are positioned so that I could make a run for it," I thought to myself. I slowly tilted my head to see the snakes but what I saw were no snakes but were manila ropes slithering on the floor, the same way a relatively long snake would.

I gasped in shock and quickly held my mouth with both of my shaky hands. One of the ropes noticed my presence... I could tell by how the head (which was just a knot of the rope) gawked at me. It had no eyes, no mouth, yet it could still see and hiss at me. I watched in horror as the snake stood up straight.

"Breakfast in bed or do you prefer eating in the kitchen instead?"

I heard the voice of Sasha. Sasha entered the room with a food tray meant for me. In that food tray was a plate of a toasted egg sandwich with cheese, tomatoes and lettuce in the middle. There was a mug and I was guessing there was coffee in it judging by the strong scent of caffeine. I also saw a glass of water with three tablet bottles.

"Don't come in here," I exclaimed in distress, "there are snakes-- no ropes-- hold on... there's snake-ropes around the room." Sasha laughed and entered the room anyways. The ropes were quick to slither to Sasha. I, as scared as a mouse, just watched from the bed as the ropes crawled onto the body of Sasha. It crept from the legs to the stomach, from the stomach to the neck. All Sasha did was giggle, "Stop, it tickles." I just blankly stared at her. A part of me was astonished by her reaction to the ropes however another part of me felt fear and anxiousness being around her. Sasha walked towards me with the tray in her hands. The other ropes which could not crawl up on her body followed Sasha like obedient dogs following the owner for its bones.

Sasha placed the tray on my bedside table and smiled. "I made this for you," she said. I tried not to react. "What's up with the ropes," I asked her.

"They are my pets... I love to keep them around," Sasha responded. I didn't want to ask any further. The sight of the ropes gawking at me scared the living hell out of me. Instead, I took the tray and placed it on my laps. "What time did you get up to make me breakfast," I asked Sasha, desperate to hear the answer. "Don't worry," Sasha said nervously, "just eat up your food my friend." I took a bite from the sandwich then sipped a bit of coffee. My taste buds were filled with joy. "This is good," I complimented while chewing some of the sandwich that was still in my mouth.

"I'm glad it tastes good," Sasha said. I looked at the tablet bottles.

"And these," I asked Sasha as I pointed at the tablet bottles. Sasha grabbed each bottle and poured the pills onto the tray. Each pill had a different colour and different words written on it. I grabbed two pills in my hand; the pink one was written 'stupid' while the blue one was written 'useless child'. I heard these words before. I took different pills to read what each one was written. That's when I realised...

"This is everything they call you and every bad word they call you, you take it in," Sasha said before she smirked, "these words almost killed you." The smirk turned to a horrific grin. That's when one of the ropes crawled onto my body without me noticing it. By the time I realised there was a rope on my body was when it wrapped itself around my neck. It wrapped around my neck, tighter than the last, causing me to lose my breath. I got up in a hurry and tried to fight off the rope. "I can't... breath," I said, pleading for help. Sasha just stared at my pale face, a grin pasted on hers.

I finally got ahold of the snake and threw it far away from me. The other snakes began to hiss and Sasha got furious. I had no second thought of staying there for another second, so I ran away.

I ran out of the house, far away from the craziness happening in my parent's home. Sasha ran after me, screaming out my name as though she was really agitated, "Elizabeth, come back here!" I could not stop. All I thought of was running. I did not care if the air was slowly (or quickly) running out, as long as I got away from her. I saw light upfront which had me smiling for a while until it started to pour. "Where did this rain come from," I asked myself in my thoughts. The light I once saw began to fade away. I slowed down my pace and turned to look behind me. Sasha was walking. It had seemed as though she had also lost her breath. I decided to take the advantage and increased my speed. Tears began to flow down my cheeks. I was tired and the overwhelming fear of dying ate my heart. I couldn't help but shake as well. I was on the edge of giving up until I heard a boy call out, "Hey!" He looked my age. I ran up to him because I wanted to believe that he could save me. The boy handed me a gun and said, "We never got justice for that bastard's crimes... kill that motherfucker." I hesitantly took the gun from him then thanked him. I turned behind to find that there was no Sasha but a black scaled-beast with four eyes and visibly large fangs. It salivated it's way to me. "I need food," it groaned. I waited for the beast to get as close as possible and when it did I pointed the gun to it and pulled the trigger. Bang! The beast turned back to Sasha. Sasha placed one hand on her belly then raised to look at it. Her hand had blood. She then looked to me. The eye contact was intense and the feeling of disgust flushed over me as I watch how she groaned from pain. A tear fell from Sasha's eyes which almost made me feel horrible for shooting her. Just as I was walking to Sasha, the boy exclaimed, "That's not your friend..." I turned to look at him. With tears in the boy's eyes, he said, "Her name's not even Sasha...it's--"

Then Sasha fell to her knees. I turned to look at Sasha and watched as she bled to death. Soon, she fell to the ground. The rain washed Sasha's blood down the road. She's dead. I fell to the ground then closed my eyes. "Finally," I sighed, "It's over."

Dear Diary

It's been ten years now since the incident. My parent thought I was crazy when I told them about what had happened while they were away at work. It doesn't matter anyways.

Ever since that day, life never really changed. It felt really depressing and lonely but during those years I had found people who can and would stand beside me when I need support.

Right now I'm sitting in my own home and gazing at the night sky. I've noticed that the moon is no longer hiding behind the dark clouds.

I have also learnt that Sasha's name was actually Suicide. It was no female or male. It shaped itself according to what gender you were more comfortable being around with. I can't believe it almost caught me. Suicide almost killed me. I can't help but think of the boy who saved me that day. He was also a victim.

Suicide killed so many people without paying the price for it. These victims never got their justice. They never got to watch suicide go behind bars. Even now, I still believe that I did not kill suicide but at least I got to run away from its grips. I hope I could start up an army and fight it. How I wish I could choke it the same way its ropes tried to choke me.

How I wish to kill it with each tablet that was in that tray.

How I wish I could shoot it, over and over again.

But for now I will be grateful for my life. I will be grateful that I get to be as confident as the moon tonight.

Suicide is fake. For a moment I thought I made a true friend when in reality it just wanted my life.

Suicide won't kill me today. It won't kill me ever.

I still want to live.

I still have to live.