No matter what happens, life always goes on. Every mistake you’ve ever made eventually becomes irrelevant. Every awkward encounter becomes a distant and funny memory. I always thought that life would go on, that is what got me through the harsh winter nights or the humid and steamy summer days. All the heartbreaks slowly drifted out of my mind, fading into healed memories I learned from it.
When I met her, all the heartache I’d ever experienced disappeared. She was the sun that came after a long and hard night. She was the rainbow after a tragic storm. Her smile lit up every room she walked into, her laugh as contagious as a plague. Her black hair always seemed to be perfect, even if she had just woken up. She always seemed to have this soft and angelic smile on her face that brought peace to anyone who saw it. Her bright green eyes, that when they hit the sun just right, made them so mesmerizing that you couldn’t look away even if you tried. No matter what room she walked into, she caught the attention of many without even trying. There was just something about her that was almost magic.
I didn’t realize how hard I fell for her until the moment my lips lightly pressed against hers on a starry and chilly night. For the first time in my life, I felt cherished and loved. I felt the happiness and belonging I had been searching for, the comfort and feeling of home. Her lips were so soft and gentle, even if mine were all chapped and cracked. She didn’t seem to mind, letting out a soft laugh as she pulled away. Under the starlight, staring into her eyes, everything felt right. It wasthe peace and harmony I’ve always wanted in life, even if our lives were always so chaotic.
I remember the long drives to see her lovely smile that lit up my life. I spent hours on the road, staring at the same path every time. The same windmills right outside of my town. The same cities and lights. I always remember driving through the town where we met, just a tiny town that looked straight out of a movie. I remember the beautiful lighthouse that has probably been there since the city was built, across from the old and worn-down restaurant where we went on a date. I remember the little bowling alley where we had our first kiss. The spot that she always pointed out when we drove past it. I had no clue that she made every effort to point it out, even when she was driving past it by herself. I didn’t even know every time she made it, she just had to stop at the place where we kissed.
I remember that drive, the one where I almost made it and got that call. The call that we were ending. Was it for good this time? What did I do wrong? So many things went through my mind as I angrily whipped around to go back home. I didn’t understand, and maybe I still don’t understand. I don’t know what’s going on in her head, the constant confusion from her side. Confusion on mine. No questions were answered on her part, not from her or her friends. I just wanted to know what in the world she was thinking.
I didn’t know what she was truly thinking. I honestly didn’t even know what she was doing to herself. She was ruining her life,going for the first guy to give her even a little bit of attention after it happened. She didn’t know what she was doing, and she still doesn’t. She lost herself into the hole that she dug herself. She feared they wouldn’t make it, feared that maybe I wouldn’t love her after everything. Little did I know she threw herself into the high to escape her thoughts, her love for me. I never knew that she regretted it from the moment it happened. She wished I still had come for her. Oh how badly I wish I did that, maybe I wouldn’t be where I was right now. Maybe she wouldn’t be in the tough spot she was in now. I wouldn’t have to worry for her, and she wouldn’t have to worry about when the next time she’s going to eat is.
I wish I knew how many late-night thoughts of hers were filled with me. She never really told me how she was feeling, how she felt at the moment she said she wanted to be with me and only me. I couldn’t take her back though, how was I supposed to know? I tried to move on, as I thought she had. I did the same thing as her, throwing myself into the life of the party. She still tries to pry herself back into my life. I feel like I shouldn’t let her in again, but I can’t help but think maybe it’s a little different this time. However, I don’t want to let her get too close again. What if the cycle repeats?
Who’s to say what will happen, and after all, she did hurt me in a way that ruined me and everything I’ve worked so hard for. She was my happiness,and now I’m stuck in this dark cave with no exit, watching everything fall apart around my very being. I move one day at a time, just trying to get through the week without thinking about her in my arms.
And as everyone keeps telling me.
Life Goes On.
When I met her, all the heartache I’d ever experienced disappeared. She was the sun that came after a long and hard night. She was the rainbow after a tragic storm. Her smile lit up every room she walked into, her laugh as contagious as a plague. Her black hair always seemed to be perfect, even if she had just woken up. She always seemed to have this soft and angelic smile on her face that brought peace to anyone who saw it. Her bright green eyes, that when they hit the sun just right, made them so mesmerizing that you couldn’t look away even if you tried. No matter what room she walked into, she caught the attention of many without even trying. There was just something about her that was almost magic.
I didn’t realize how hard I fell for her until the moment my lips lightly pressed against hers on a starry and chilly night. For the first time in my life, I felt cherished and loved. I felt the happiness and belonging I had been searching for, the comfort and feeling of home. Her lips were so soft and gentle, even if mine were all chapped and cracked. She didn’t seem to mind, letting out a soft laugh as she pulled away. Under the starlight, staring into her eyes, everything felt right. It wasthe peace and harmony I’ve always wanted in life, even if our lives were always so chaotic.
I remember the long drives to see her lovely smile that lit up my life. I spent hours on the road, staring at the same path every time. The same windmills right outside of my town. The same cities and lights. I always remember driving through the town where we met, just a tiny town that looked straight out of a movie. I remember the beautiful lighthouse that has probably been there since the city was built, across from the old and worn-down restaurant where we went on a date. I remember the little bowling alley where we had our first kiss. The spot that she always pointed out when we drove past it. I had no clue that she made every effort to point it out, even when she was driving past it by herself. I didn’t even know every time she made it, she just had to stop at the place where we kissed.
I remember that drive, the one where I almost made it and got that call. The call that we were ending. Was it for good this time? What did I do wrong? So many things went through my mind as I angrily whipped around to go back home. I didn’t understand, and maybe I still don’t understand. I don’t know what’s going on in her head, the constant confusion from her side. Confusion on mine. No questions were answered on her part, not from her or her friends. I just wanted to know what in the world she was thinking.
I didn’t know what she was truly thinking. I honestly didn’t even know what she was doing to herself. She was ruining her life,going for the first guy to give her even a little bit of attention after it happened. She didn’t know what she was doing, and she still doesn’t. She lost herself into the hole that she dug herself. She feared they wouldn’t make it, feared that maybe I wouldn’t love her after everything. Little did I know she threw herself into the high to escape her thoughts, her love for me. I never knew that she regretted it from the moment it happened. She wished I still had come for her. Oh how badly I wish I did that, maybe I wouldn’t be where I was right now. Maybe she wouldn’t be in the tough spot she was in now. I wouldn’t have to worry for her, and she wouldn’t have to worry about when the next time she’s going to eat is.
I wish I knew how many late-night thoughts of hers were filled with me. She never really told me how she was feeling, how she felt at the moment she said she wanted to be with me and only me. I couldn’t take her back though, how was I supposed to know? I tried to move on, as I thought she had. I did the same thing as her, throwing myself into the life of the party. She still tries to pry herself back into my life. I feel like I shouldn’t let her in again, but I can’t help but think maybe it’s a little different this time. However, I don’t want to let her get too close again. What if the cycle repeats?
Who’s to say what will happen, and after all, she did hurt me in a way that ruined me and everything I’ve worked so hard for. She was my happiness,and now I’m stuck in this dark cave with no exit, watching everything fall apart around my very being. I move one day at a time, just trying to get through the week without thinking about her in my arms.
And as everyone keeps telling me.
Life Goes On.
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