It's been six months since me and France got engaged. I feel that everyday lifestyle was like a utopia full of happiness and hope. But after four weeks everything got broken down like a sand castle. Everything just slided down like sand into the ground with no shape left. At that moment I felt very sad and depressed, maybe more than that. It was a feeling of betrayal and sadness from my eyes and it looked like I was not myself. It was my first time crying and it went on for one weeks. Also I didn't even have much appetite either. All I was thinking about is what did I do wrong? And did I make a mistake or did I do something that will make him change his mind about marriage?

All this one weeks and maybe more than that, I have been thinking that to myself. I even blamed myself for doing something wrong and thinking about what I should have done. Also I was a bit surprised that everything went fine but how did it end up like this? This was one of my unforgettable events, but I will tell you the whole story of how it ended up like this and how I deal with this sad moment.

I'm so happy! I can't believe that I actually got engaged with France! He is my number 1 handsome prince and a wonderful fiance. I moved in with him maybe 3 months ago. Things were very busy because of getting my stuff and moving to France's house and also I had to learn proper manners like a princess of dreamland. I even had to go on to the stage with France to greet all the fairies that we got engaged to and promised everyone that we will take care of everything and will carry proper duties as a prince and princess of dreamland.

At that moment, everyone was just booing me saying that humans are not allowed in this world. Also there were some fairies shouting to me that did you get engaged to France because of his fame and wealth. And it was very hard because a lot of fairies didn't agree with the fact that some random human got engaged with a famous prince of dreamland and was shouting to me that humans and fairies can't marry and be together. Also some fairies shouted at us saying that this dreamland's loyal family will go down and will collapse into pieces. It was very hard to listen to all those negative comments, but France supported me from the back. He said sorry to disappoint everyone but she is the one that I really want to marry and want to start a family with. I know that she is not one of us, but she is a very kind hearted girl and a very hardworking person. I know that we have a tradition where I have to marry the same fairy and come from a real princess family, but my heart goes only to Reina. She is the one that made me who Iam, which I feel grateful for.

And then after that France's mother Rosetta and father George came up to the stage. They both backed up by saying that France is right. Even though Reina is not a fairy, she has the heart of a fairy and she is willing to be with France and work together to create a dream and a better place to live. So for Queen Rosetta and King George we believe that princess Reina will do great work with France. And then at that moment my eyes were filled with tears, not the regular tears but the tears of joy. I felt really happy and I can feel that France and his family are very warm and feel the love from them. And it was not the regular kind of joy but happiness that will never disappear.

Then one fairy stood up and said fine. If both the Queen and King agree making a human be part of their family and make her a princess then I think I'm fine with it. By looking at Reina I think she is a good girl and has a sense of responsibility. Then many fairies started clapping their hands and welcoming me. I felt really happy that everyone agreed and started to welcome me. And then France's mother queen Rosetta asked me to do an introductory speech as a future princess. And then I did my speech. First I introduced myself by saying hi I'm Reina and as you can see I'm a human. I feel very grateful to be here with everyone and becoming a part of this loyal family to work toward creating this dream land a better place. And I know that I'm still young and don't have enough knowledge about this world and becoming a princess here.

But I believe that if I don't give up, I can do it. And sorry I don't know any fairy tradition and customs, but I will work step by step to learn more about fairy's traditions and customs so I can someday have a conversation with everyone. And thank you so much for inviting me here to be able to do a speech here. And then everyone clapped their hands and some fairy shouted saying princess Reina I know you can do it! And gave me encouraging words. I felt so grateful to everyone here. And then France's mother tapped on my shoulder and quietly said great job to me. And I said thank you so much for backing me up. And she said of course because you are already my important daughter in law. And France said you are so brave Reina and he hugged me. At that moment I felt really relieved and soothing. After that short introductory speech was finished so we all went home.

When we arrived home, there were cute bunnies running around our backyard. In France's palace, he has a very huge yard that has lots of activities like trampoline, pool slide, private horseback riding area, go cart field etc. There were so many that I can't even name it all. And according to France, these bunnies always visit our palace for fun. They were so cute!!! I even carried one. France said do you want some sweets? And I said yes please! And so he got me cream cheese danish, red bean paste bread, strawberry shortcake etc. They were so delicious! Looks like I'm in a paradise full of wonder and happiness with my sweet France. While we ate we saw a beautiful rainbow, really huge and colorful. The strangest thing is that a leprechaun was walking in the rainbow which I thought was weird because March has already passed.

I asked France about that and he said that even though it has already passed, sometimes we can see them walking because they are preparing for next March. And I was like wow! That is so cool because in the human world I don't see this beautiful rainbow close up like this and a leprechaun. And he said Dream land is cool because you can see a lot of strange things which is very cool. And he said do you want to go shopping or go out to eat somewhere? And I said I want to do it both! And he said awww you are so cute! Ok let's do both things. And so we went back to our room to prepare to go out.

One hour later, we headed out to the town. It was full of people and there were some people singing and dancing on the stage. It was so cool! Because everyone was there dancing and singing with them. France said do you want to eat lunch first and then go shopping? And I said ok let's do that! So we went walking around different restaurants to see which place looks great. After looking around, we decided to eat Italian food. It was so good! I ordered vegetable pasta and tomato basil soup. It was so delicious that it looked like I was in paradise or something. It was a feeling of special happiness because I was eating with my precious honey! And France ordered sirloin beef with sweet sauce with vegetables. France's food also looks delicious! And because I was staring at it for a long time, France let me taste one of his food. It was so delicious! After that we left the store.

Next, we decided to take a walk since it was very sunny. We talked a lot about life. It was interesting that we both had similarities in lifestyles, food etc. It was cool that in the future he wanted to live in New Zealand. I asked him why? And he said because the environment is very nice and not just an environment. "People". He said people there are very sweet and nice. And I was like OMG that's cool! And we also talked about experiences that we had while growing up. This time of talking was a very good opportunity for me because I'm getting to know more about my precious fiance. By talking I felt very connected, like a feeling of a string. What I mean is that two people are drawn together like a string.

And that string is connected between me and France. It was a very nice experience of being able to experience that connection. It was literally my first time experiencing this feeling of wanting to sacrifice for that person no matter what.

Then after talking, me and France saw a beautiful beach so we decided to visit the beach there. It was really beautiful! The colors are blue and greenish. It was a very bright color and looked like a candy bar or ice cream bar. And the sound of the wave was very refreshing, like a soft swoosh swoosh sound. It is kind of hard to explain but it was fantastic. I can't believe that I actually came to the beach with my precious fiance. France asked can I ask you something funny? And I was like what is it?

And he said if you went to a stranded mysterious Island what kinds of things would you bring? And I was like hahahaha I thought he was so cute. And I told him that I would bring a tent, Flashlight, and water. And he was like oh wow! Then suddenly his phone rings so he answers it. So while he was talking with someone I was walking toward the wave. It was fun! The ocean was really shiny and dazzling like a diamond. It was so beautiful!

After that, he came toward me and said I think I will bring a book, blanket, and food with me. And I was like oh you done with your phone call? He said yes, sorry to startle you. I was like okay! And so I got curious as to why he would bring a book so I asked him why he wanted to bring a book. And he said because I love to read books and I used to have a dream to write my own novel. And I was like wow that great! He blushed.

After that it was getting darker so we decided to leave the beach. While walking back to our palace, he told me to go back home first because he wanted to talk to his parents about something. So I said ok so we parted our ways.

When I arrived back home, I put away all the stuff that we bought etc. After that I decided to surprise France so I looked up the recipe and tried to make his favorite dish. I'm a very clumsy person but I wanted to make him happy so I tried making his favorite dish for dinner.

Then, a few hours later, he came back home. I told him dinner was ready and he became very surprised and asked,'Is it for me? And I told him yes! It's for you! Since we are going to marry I wanted to practice being your wife. And he said awww you are so cute. And after France settled in, we ate our dinner together.

After that, he said let's watch the movie for the last time. And I was like last time? And he said no, never mind. Pretend you didn't hear that because it was a joke. And I said oh it's a joke and I laughed. But for some reason, his words "for the last time" stuck to me. I didn't know why but it went straight inside my heart like a rose thorn. But I decided not to think too hard because I believed him that it was a joke.

By watching a movie together, it was very fun. We were Laughing and crying depending on the different movie scenes. Also we were eating popcorn, chocolate, and many other snacks. He also prepared champagne for me! It was so delicious! I didn't know that he could drink too! And I said thank you for the drink! It is so delicious! And he told me I'm glad that you liked it. Then while watching the movie, I started to feel sleepy so I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up. I was sleeping alone on the couch. And I was like oh no I fell asleep during the movie. And then I was like where is France? So I looked all over the house but I couldn't find him. So I was like, did he go out? And if he did, why didn't he call me or leave a message?

While thinking all that, I went to the kitchen and then I found a note.

It says "Hi Reina! It me France by the time you are reading this you must have realized that I'm not here. It is very hard for me to say but all the time we spent together was really fun. It was my first time that I was able to really connect with someone and be with my favorite girl. But when I think about the future for us, I feel really pressured because marriage means commitment. Being able to stay together and work toward creating a wonderful family. Also as a guy I have a responsibility to protect you and support you. And I think it is very late to realize this but I felt that I don't think I can make a huge decision right now. And I also realized that I'm not compatible with you. I think you have a wonderful guy out there for you so from today I want to break up with you and from the bottom of my heart I will wish for your happiness. Thank you so much for staying with someone like me!"

By reading this note it made me tear up so badly. And I blamed myself for why I didn't realize his feelings. And I could have done something for him. And he should have told me something and why he didn't tell me. So I cried for about 4 hours. My eyes became very puffy and red. And it was a feeling of a perfect paradise suddenly colliding everything like sand. And I became very lost on what to do with my life in general. And looks like I went inside a lost paradise, unable to accept and does not know what to do and lost inside the forest unable to get out.

Then an hour later, I went to France's parents house. And I told them what happened and they said I'm sorry for what our son has done. Yesterday he came here and explained about you and he told us that he has been thinking about you for a long time about whether or not he should marry you or not. And finally yesterday he came to the conclusion that he wanted to break up and wanted to develop himself more so he decided to buy a sleeping pill. And I was like so he put sleeping pills inside my drink? And they said yes he put it inside while you were watching a movie. And they said I think he didn't want to leave you when you were awake.

So I was like why did he decide to make me sleep so I won't cry in front of him? And they said yes. He said he didn't want to hurt your feelings so we gave him suggestions that you guys should watch the movie and spend time together for the last time and while watching the movie you can make her sleep so it would be easier for you to leave.

And I said oh I see. Sorry I didn't know he was keeping everything to himself. And they said thank you so much for staying with my son. You can take your time to pack your things. And I said thank you so much for inviting someone like me to your family. I wish you happiness and your health. Then I left France's parents' house.

I went back to our house and I started to pack my stuff and everything. I felt that it was a great experience and I was so happy to meet a sweet guy like him.

Then an hour later, I was walking to the bus stop. At the moment I feel like I became stuck in a lost paradise not being able to escape. And realized that I probably have a long way to go for my true happiness.