Finding Love at Fourteen

By Gurdeep Rajoria

Sitting in the class, those chilly winter days felt really long and boring. Cold making it hard to keep oneself concentrated on the lessons. While my teacher quibbles over the mathematics formulas and history of our ancestor and telling what science lies which keeps water in all three states at the same time, solid, molten and gas. Through the crowds of people, thoughts and echoing sounds of bright young minds, my mind seeps through to the topic of my own curiosity. And that topic was love.

I never knew how people know with whom will they fall in love with. Some say it's a feeling. Some settle for things which are almost closer to love. Some simply just go with the flow. But, still at the age of fourteen, I want to fall in love in a really old fashion way. Like writers write in old corny novels. They say a single event making your boring life worth living is when you meet your true love for the first time. All those lazy love songs you heard growing up. One of them just starts to play in your mind. Butterflies in the stomach and a stupid grin on the face. I want all of that. Look at me I almost sound like a girl. All sappy, romantic and stuff.

But who am I kidding? I am just another guy who falls in the category of 92% of the whole world`s population who die without knowing what true love means.

What love means to me you ask. It`s a total agony and feeling of helplessness and non-existence to the person I loved since fifth grade. Mehak is her name. I still remember the day when she came to my school and my life.

It was after the summer holidays. WhenI was talking to my friends about the fun I had in the "Manali" trip with my family and she walked in her sky blue skirt and a white AC/DC t-shirt. Now that I think about it I never even heard of this music band name AC/DC of the late '80s until I saw her wearing that t-shirt. And oh man!! She looked beautiful with her two pigtails and brightly shining black eyes. Ever since then I have seen her grow more beautiful by the days. It`s been three years yet I never talked to her besides school stuff.

Sometimes I feel that, 'am I the only one who thinks like this?' Everyone else looked pretty happy to me.

I have seen my friends. They fall in and out of love very fast and deeply. I was always amazed to see the people doing that. Maybe they can just get over their ex and start a new relationship with someone new. Which also lasts according to their fancies. Well, I think it's not all that bad.

I was stealing a peek at Mehak when my friend plucks me on my forehead with his finger. That`s how my train of thought comes to an end. Pain causes me to yell at once.

"What the hell man...it hurt!!"

Next thing I know the whole class was looking at me. When the teacher was about to say something to me the period bell rang and as always, our teacher was much in a hurry to leave the class.

Puneet looked at me with a look in his eyes. It was a look I understand very well.

It says "You are so pathetic!", guess I am being a little pathetic. Puneet being my best friend knows of the crush that I have on Mehak since fifth grade. Puneet, as usual, startshis sermon about moving on or finally telling her my feelings. And as always I pretend to listen to him. When actually I did not.

This time Puneet is talking about someone other than Mehak though.

That`s right, he is talking about the two rivers of our schools.

It`s a known fact that the two hottest girls in the whole school are in our class. And boys refer to them as "two rivers". The one was Mehak and another was Priyanka. They were actually best friends. But even though they were both drop dead gorgeous. Still, there was a big difference in their behavior. Where Mehak was a jolly and talkative person. Priyanka was a bit gloomy and distant. I hardly saw her talking to anyone else other than Mehak.

To tell you the truth. Priyanka lives in my neighborhood. We knew each other since we were babies. But I hardly know anything about her now. I don`t even remember when was the last time we talked. She is really cute though. But, I was never able to see Priyanka that way. Must be something wrong with me. Puneet had a big crush on Priyanka. Apparently, Puneet actually purposed her and what I heard was she rejected him with a plane face. Still, Puneet talks about her a lot. Even though he has a girlfriend now.

Again on my train of thoughts. I was looking at Mehak again without realizing. When Puneet stopped talking and snapped his finger at me and said, "Hey you there Romeo? Would you stop that?

If you really like her that much why don`t you go talk to her?"

I was feeling irritated on this sudden challenge my friend threw at me. Why can`t he just leave me alone? What was so bad about just looking at her. Still, to satisfy myego I said, "I can talk to her if I want to. I just don`t want to complicate my position."

He said, "I know your position bro, but if you just kept looking at her she will get a boyfriend and you will be crying your eyes out.

Listen to me, all these peeking looks are not healthy dude. You have been doing the same thing since fifth grade. It`s time to change or you will stay like that your whole life and I don`t want you to be like that. Just tell her how you feel. If she accepts you all well and good. If she doesn`t then you will be heartbroken and will be able to move on easily. I think you should tell her."

"Yeah, ok. I will think about it. If I feel like it, I will confess to her on Monday."

Listening to my words Puneet smiled and we both took our bags and left.

Since it was the weekend I thought about visiting my uncle. He is a construction engineer. He is working on some local projects so he is staying over at our place. He is a fun guy to hang around.

He spent a lot of time working because he is divorced now. At least that`s what my mom tells me.

I never understood why my uncle and aunt got divorced. They had a love marriage and as far as I know, my uncle is a funny person. Aunt is more of a caring type.

It never made sense to me. I guess this is also a kind of love. Fading love.

All these thoughts moving through my mind while I was sipping my tea. Uncle`s greetings brought me back to reality

"Hello. What`s up Bharat? How's school going?"

 "It's fine uncle."

"Then why are looking so gloomy? What are you thinking about?"

"Uncle, haveyou ever been in love?"

Uncle looked at me with surprised eyes. Like he was surprised at my question. Then he took a deep breath and started talking

Yup, I was in love with your Aunt. That`s why we got married just after college. And I loved her very much.

But now I think about it. I was rushing things. It all happened so fast.

After a few years love kind of just faded with time. Your Aunt when she could not bear it any more left me.

I was stunned after listening to all the details without asking anything. Guess uncle wanted to talk about these feeling with someone. But no one listened. My uncle kept on talking for an hour.

Even though I was not interested I listened to all that he had to say. It felt like that even though he was in love with aunty he had rushed and made a lot of mistakes along the time.

Which made me think that I should think a little more about it.

So I thought about it during the weekend. Finally, I decided to confess my feelings to her on Monday.

I was all ready and had a plan.

After the first period, the second period was music. The whole class moved to the Music room. When everyone left I was the last one to leave.

I wrote a note that I wanted to meet her on the rooftop after half time and signed it with my name. I put the note in her book which was placed on her bench.

I waited on the rooftop impatiently. I wanted to tell her about my feelings. But I was afraid. If I looked into her eyes I might get embarrassed and won`t be able to talk.

So I closed my eyes and waited to listen to the footsteps and I heard themstopping just behind me.

I started with, "I have something to tell you. I have looked at you for a long time and have these feeling since fifth grade. I didn`t know what to make of them then. Now that I finally realized what these feelings were I thought to confess to you. I think I am in love with you. Have been since three years."

I finally said it. When she didn`t say anything for a few seconds.

I opened my eyes and turned to look upon her expression. But, my heart skipped a few beats. I realized that it was not Mehak who had listened to my confession. It was Priyanka. I was looking at the expression that I had never seen on her face.

She was bright red. When she smiled and was about to say something:-

I asked her something else, "What are you doing here?"

She gave me a confused look. She showed me the note and said, "Well, I found your note on the book. It said to come on the rooftop at the half time and was signed. By the way, your writing is horrible. I was hardly able to read it."

Even though it was a confusing situation. Her remark about my writing made me kind of pissed at her. I kept my temper in check and said, "I guess it was my mistake to not mention the name of the person. Well, actually that note was meant for Mehak and not you."

She gave me a puzzled look and then said, "So you are one of Mehak`s Fan."

Despite it was the first long conversation I had with Priyanka but her random comment and sarcasm were getting on my nerves.

Then she started grinning. I said, "Well, I am not her fan like the other guys. I am in love withher. I know my love for her is special.

Guess the way I was talking about my love had appealed her."

She said, "Whatever, since Mehak is my best friend and you seem like a decent person I will help you guys get together."

 I nodded in agreement without even thinking. It was nice to have female reinforcement to advise me on my love quest. 

"To tell you the truth I was worried and wanted to express my feeling in the best way I could."

So to discuss the love strategy we decided to talk about it the next day in recess. When I got back. I kept thinking about Priyanka. It was the first time I had seen her being so talkative. She seems really different to me for some reason. I stayed up all night.

By the morning I was beating myself for thinking about Priyanka when Mehak was the real love of my life. When I got to the class I felt exhausted. I put my head on my bag and closed my eyes when a sweet voice called my name. I opened my eyes. Seemed like the whole class was again looking at me.

I heard the same voice once again. I stood up and saw Priyanka was standing beside me. Then she said, "Hello Bharat."

I said in a sleepy manner while yawning, "Morning Priyanka."

Then she leaned towards my right ear. Everyone was looking at us. When she said we will discuss your love strategy on the rooftop during half time. I nodded in agreement and she left. The moment Priyanka walked away Puneet pulled me with my collars.

"What the hell you sly dog!!"

"I thought you liked Mehak and now you are being lovey-dovey with Priyanka."

"It's not like that we are just friends.", was my first response.

"You just sound like those Bollywood actors.Yeah, we are just friends` cliche?"

"Whatever dude. I am happy for you. Finally, you are over that one-sided crush with Mehak."

I wanted to tell Puneet everything so he will be able to help me with my love endeavor. But for some reason, I withheld that information. I don`t know why. I just wanted the love strategy to be our thing. Mine and Priyanka`s

We both met on the rooftop as we promised. She suggested using the same way to propose to Mehak. Which I have used before. After that, we chat about other stuff.

Then she asked me, "So, you have been in love with her for five years. Why didn`t you tell her that sooner and what made you purpose her now?"

I explained to her my reason. She smiled and laughed. When she found out how simple and straight forward I was.

Then I asked her, "Why don`t you have a boyfriend? I mean you are obviously very beautiful. Then how come you don`t have a boyfriend."

She looked down for a few seconds and said, "Well It`s not like hate boys it`s just that when some stranger purposed to me. It is obvious for me to reject them because I don`t know anything about them. So how can I accept those feeling without knowing them? It`s too bad nobody asks me to be their friend first. After I reject someone I finally start to notice the person. But after some time, I see that same boy with another girl. It`s like all was meaningless."

Then I realized, what Puneet was saying that once I get my heart broken I will be able to move on.

Seemed like everyone thought that way. That`s why Priyanka never had any boyfriend. By the time she finally starts to notice the guy a person has already moved on.It felt like I had solved an untold mystery in our class. For some reason, I was very much at ease while talking to Priyanka.

Priyanka was at ease too. She was smiling a lot. This was another side of Priyanka that I never knew she had.

Next day, I placed the note. Just like before and waited on the rooftop.

This time again Priyanka showed up saying I had placed the note in the wrong book again.

For some reason, she seemed more frustrated than me.

We decided to postpone the confession. This time Priyanka suggested that she will relay my message to her and will tell her to meet you after school on the rooftop.

That night I felt so excited that I was not able to sleep. For some reason, the only person I was thinking about was Priyanka, not Mehak. It was like a panic attack. I was finally realizing my feelings.

Next day after school hours I waited at the rooftop.

Mehak came before she could say something I started talking,

"Mehak I am really sorry. I know I called you up here. To be honest I was going to propose to you. But, now my feelings have changed. You don`t need to be bothered by my feelings. So Please forgive me."

Mehak smiled a little and said, "You know you are the first person who called me up to confess and has rejected me instead. Well, whatever. I was actually considering going out with you because Priyanka convinced me that you are a nice guy. You were the first person she praised in front of me. So I was thinking to give it a shot. Now I see what she likes. By the way, if you don`t like me then who do you like then?"

I had an answer in my mind. I smiled afterrealizing what it was and said,

"It's Priyanka. I have fallen in love with her."

After saying that I was coming down the stairs. When I saw Priyanka was standing beside the doors to the stairs.

She was red and had tears in her eyes.

I was a bit shocked to see her there. Did she hear me??

It was the only question on my mind. I kept standing there without saying anything.

Then she looked at me and smiled. I leaped through the air and hugged her.

I saw her eyes getting big. She was shocked at my reaction.

She was so tiny and soft. Holding her in my arms was nice. It felt warm and welcoming. 

First, she was a bit surprised but, just in next second she put her tiny head on my chest and said the sweetest and simple words

"I love you too......"

The End