“What the hell?”

I came to an abrupt stop and pressed my forehead to the glass door of the library. I saw a man with long legs spread across the couch and snoring like a chainsaw. One foot lay on the top of the front table, while the other had fallen open on the couch next to him. 

As a team manager, I had the moral responsibility to tell off an employee who sleeps in the library. Flinging the door open, I strode to his side, my fists balled at my waist and my elbows jutted like wings behind me. Half-opened book covered his face, I could only see the cover. The title of the book turned me to a statue.

“Stargazing.” I read it very softly.

 

The wind was surprisingly cooler than I expected. It was twilight in March that was supposed to be humid in most tropical countryside in the Philippines. The darkness quickly covered the skies while some little lights crept into the heavens – they got bigger and more visible as time went by. 

I looked up and saw how majestic the stars were. They were like precious gems I could easily find but could never reach. They were very lovely in this cloudless sky. I knew a few constellations back then like the Belt of Orion, Leo, Lyra and others. I was a space buff like what my classmates used to call me. Not to mention my parents named me Pisces, a zodiacal constellation.

But, do you know the most beautiful thing in that moment?

Michael de la Cruz. 

He was my high-school classmate and best friend. He used to meet me at the old dock at 6:00 PM as we waited to see the stars, but sometimes, he brought his rusty bicycle and picked me up at my house. 

“Pedal faster, Mike! Mybutt is starting to hurt!” I used to complain about it every time.

“That’s a very nice one to get hurt!” he laughed.

“Perv!” He usually made fun of me, but that’s Mike. 

I felt a little awkward sitting on his bike, but feeling his arms around me, gave me a very comfortable sensation. I felt safe. I felt being cared for. I felt loved.

I fixed my long black curly hair up to avoid blocking Michael's view while riding. I kept a tight grip on the front but I couldn't keep my eyes on the road as I tried to catch a glimpse of his pretty face. He was a very attractive young boy that every school girl wanted to date.

We arrived when the sun began to dip the horizon and the stars started to appear. He tied his bike around the old coconut tree at the old pier. Then, we walked toward the front of the dock together.

“Here, use my jacket for your mat.” He had this very sweet deep voice when he was calm.

We lay down as we felt the warmth of the concrete floor on our backs. We gazed at the endless tiny lights in the sky. We always admired the stars and the constellations. 

“Look! It’s Venus!” He excitedly raised his right hand pointing at the brightest star in the night sky.

I turned my head to see how happy he was. He had attractive monolid eyes – that seemed closed when he smiled, the prettiest smile, thick eyebrows, long nose and wavy black hair. He was muscularly lean and had these manly broad shoulders too. He was one foot taller than me making him a 6-foot baby giant. 

“No, you fool! Why can’t you tell it’s Sirius?!" I raised my voice at him.

“I was just kidding. You always look ugly whenyou're upset,” he laughed teasingly.

Then, he stared at me for a while and put his left hand on my face. He leaned his body towards me as he slowly put his lips closer to my right ear.

“Can’t you see? You’re my Sirius... my favorite star. You always outshine all other stars,” he whispered.

Those words... those were the sweetest poison to my ear. I suddenly couldn’t move like I was paralyzed. My heart couldn’t help pounding. I never imagined he could say something like that. I loved him. I loved my best friend.

He moved his face a little much closer now. I gently closed my eyes as I felt his warm lips on mine. It was the happiest moment that I always wished I could go back again and again.

He kissed me. 

It was the first time he did that... and it was also the last.

Eight years later. I still thought about Michael. I wouldn't forget that kiss. We were 15 when we got separated. Their family needed to move to a different island. I couldn’t even send mail because I didn’t know where they were. We didn’t have mobile phones and the internet at that time. There were no social media either to keep in touch with friends. I cried a lot and didn’t go outside in the summer and Christmas vacations. It was very painful. I missed him. Everything ended just like that.

My phone rang.

It was my team mate’s text asking me to go downstairs for the monthly meeting. I stepped back, but kept quiet while staring at this man taking a deep nap. I tried to check out this guy whether he was from our department or not, but he didn’t look familiar. Aside from the fact that his face was covered, I could say he could be awell turned out man. He looked good with his white dress shirt tucked in his tight black pants, and he had a very impressive body built. 

I thought I should be a little considerate. Perhaps this man just dozed off while reading. So, I had to leave him like that and got myself out to go back to work.

It was another normal day. 

“Hey, you’re going to be late again!”

My co-worker and nagging friend, Jenny, always called me two hours before my shift started. She had been like a human alarm clock since she heard my boss told me off about my tardiness last month.

I found myself working in a big company now. I worked as a team leader in the technical support department, and like any normal employees, I earned money to pay my bills. I was still a single woman who couldn’t live her life well. Apart from being a full-time employee, I also got an online tutoring part-time job. 

While fixing myself at the mirror, I realized I had surely aged, but I still had this long black curly hair tied up like before. Unlike other girls, I didn't normally take much time in wearing make-up and know how to trim these bushy eyebrows either.

“So, I just put some light make-up on this so-so face and red lipstick on.” I talked to myself like that at the mirror before going to work.

I worked on the 10th floor of the company’s building, but I spent most of my break time on the 15th. In addition to its huge pantry, there were an entertainment area and a library where you could spend your vacant time as much as you could. 

It’s lunch.

I went up to the 15th floor to eat, met my friends, and then had our little chitchat. I always left firstsince I loved to take a break back to the nap room on the 10th floor.

“Girls, I need to go.”

I got up from the couch in the lobby and headed to the elevator. My friends already knew about my two jobs so they never bothered to stop me.

On my way to the elevator, I happened to pass by the library. I stopped and got curious about whether the man I’d seen earlier was there this time. However, no one was inside.

A week later.

As I was checking my emails before leaving for home, I got another personal message from Jenny. She usually sent nonsense messages gossiping about someone else’s business and everything, but this time I was feeling a little bit intrigued. 

“Hey, girl! Do you know that there’s a new team manager on the 15th-floor department? He’s really tall and handsome! He’s a total package. We should meet him and introduce ourselves right away!”

For eight years, I hadn't been interested in meeting anyone. I hadn't had the courage to let anyone enter my life. I knew it was bad not to give anyone a chance, but I also thought I was not that attractive at all. Although I got asked in some blind dates at times, I’d rather stay home. 

I shut down my computer and left.

Last day of the month.

As usual, I met my friends in the lobby on the 15th floor after having lunch. They were always on the couch talking during breaks. Recently, they had been talking about this new guy. So, I got a bit bored and said goodbye to them as I walked straight to the elevator. 

Few steps away I could see the library room. Wondering again, I stood at the door looking for the man I'd seen before. No one sat on the chair. 

"It's open," avoice spoke from behind me. 

I turned to stare at a man that I'd seen in the hallway earlier. My eyes searched his face recognizing features, then like an explosion it hit me.

"Michael?"

The man frowned at me. He looked puzzled.

"How do you know my name?"

I swallowed trying to wet my dry throat. I continued to stare at this man I'd know so intimately known as a young girl. I moved as if my body belonged to someone else. My arms wrapped around him and I hugged him. I felt his body stiffen and his arms broke my hold.

He pushed them back to my side and stepped away from me. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are."

I looked at his face as I knew it and he'd answered to his name. 

"You're Michael de la Cruz." 

"It's me, Pisces." I pressed my finger to my chest. 

I waited for the moment of recognition. 

His brows creased deeper. 

"I don't know anyone named Pisces. I'm sorry, you must think I'm someone else."

Now I felt confused. Had I really hugged someone I didn't know? I felt a connection, it had to be my Michael. I pressed him. 

"Did you go to a pier when you were fifteen and look at the stars?"

His expression changed to confusion and he shook his head. 

My eyes filled with tears, I wanted him to remember. 

"We biked there and named the constellations."

He shook his head, but now he looked at me with sadness and pity as he started to move away.

My arms felt weak, and I couldn't glance at his face. He stood still, standing before me with a book in his hand. 

Wait.

"T-the book." I whispered.

It was the same book when I saw him. It was the same “Stargazing” book. 

I grabbed at one last straw. 

 

"Wait, what's your favorite star?

There was a break in his stride, thenhe turned to face me, 

 

"Sirius."