Comedy

The AI Betrayal and the Great Essay Scandal

Kevin, a master procrastinator, turns to a cutting-edge AI to write his history essay. Unbeknownst to him, his school's IT department, led by the mysterious Mr. Johnson, has sabotaged the AI to thwart cheating. When his essay is flagged for bizarre irregularities, Kevin and his friend Charlie embark on a mission to fix the AI. Confronted by Mr. Johnson, they discover that he is not their enemy but a quirky ally. With a new understanding of academic integrity and a working AI, Kevin submits his essay on time, earning an A- and a valuable lesson.

Nov 9, 2024  |   4 min read
The AI Betrayal and the Great Essay Scandal
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It was 3 AM. In the dim light of his desk lamp, Kevin, a slightly below-average student with a penchant for procrastination, stared at the blank Word document on his screen. The deadline for his 2000-word history essay was in less than six hours, and all he had was the title: "The Industrial Revolution: How Machines Ruined Our Lives (For the Better)." To make matters worse, Kevin had not read a single page of the assigned textbook.

Kevin's options were limited. He could either buckle down and try to write the paper himself, risking the possibility of his brain spontaneously combusting from the effort, or he could do what any modern student would do - he could cheat. Not in the traditional way, of course. Kevin wasn't the type to copy someone else's work. No, Kevin had something far more sophisticated in mind.

Enter AI.

With a few swift keystrokes, Kevin summoned the mighty power of EssayBot 3000 - a cutting-edge AI designed to write essays on demand. After all, how hard could history be for an algorithm, right? He fed the title into the program, clicked "Generate," and in less than five seconds, EssayBot 3000 produced a 2000-word essay that was both grammatically flawless and filled with impressive-sounding historical facts. It was almost too perfect.

Kevin leaned back in his chair, staring at the screen in awe. "This is genius," he whispered. "No one will ever know."

Little did Kevin know, his school's IT department had recently been tinkering with AI systems - not to improve them, but to sabotage them. The reason? The administration had recently discovered that too many students were outsourcing their work to AI, and they were not having it.

The sabotage started as a rumor. Students noticed that AI-written essays were starting to sound... odd. Some
were reporting strange, completely made-up historical events, like Napoleon getting lost in a maze of IKEA furniture during his exile. Others had been given bizarre instructions, like how to "pivot the Industrial Revolution towards space exploration." But the rumors didn't stop there. A shadowy figure known only as Mr. Johnson (and no one really knew who he was) had allegedly created a special "AI-Disruptor" that was designed to stop these cheating machines in their tracks.

Back to Kevin. As he read through his shiny new essay, he felt a weird sense of unease. Something seemed... off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he chalked it up to his own sleep-deprived brain playing tricks on him. He clicked "Submit" and went to bed, confident that his victory over the forces of academia was imminent.

But then... the email came.

It was from the school's automated grading system. The subject line read: "Your Submission Has Been Flagged for Irregularities." Kevin blinked. Irregularities? What could possibly go wrong? The essay was flawless!

With trembling fingers, he opened the email:

Dear Kevin,

We regret to inform you that your essay submission has been flagged by our advanced AI-detection algorithms. Upon further inspection, it appears that your essay contains several suspicious patterns, such as:

- Unnaturally high-level vocabulary usage (especially for someone who barely knows the difference between "industrial" and "revolution").

- Overuse of the phrase "economic paradigm shift."

- A deeply unsettling claim that Queen Victoria once attended a secret underground jazz club in London.

We recommend that you submit a new essay that more accurately reflects your writing capabilities.

Sincerely,

The Grading Team

(And Mr. Johnson, who might be watching you right now.)

Kevin sat frozen. Queen Victoria in a jazz club? What kind of AI had he summoned? His heart raced. Was this it? Had the AI been sabotaged?
His once perfect plan was now spiraling into chaos.

Desperate, Kevin turned to his best friend, Charlie, for help. Charlie, a self-proclaimed "tech wizard" and habitual internet sleuth, was convinced that Mr. Johnson, the mysterious saboteur, was a real person who worked in the school's basement. "I've seen him," Charlie said dramatically, as if recounting a near-death experience. "I swear I heard him muttering something about 'eliminating the AI scourge' in the school cafeteria last week. It was chilling."

Charlie's idea was simple: Kevin needed to break into the school's mainframe and re-upload the AI system with the original, unsabotaged code. Of course, Kevin had no idea how to hack into anything, but Charlie assured him it was easy. "We'll be in and out. No one will even notice."

And so began their grand adventure.

They snuck into the school under the cover of night, wearing hoodies and carrying flash drives that looked suspiciously like they were stolen from a 2005 office supply catalog. After narrowly avoiding the janitor (who definitely would have tattled), they reached the basement, where Kevin was certain the AI-disruptor program was kept. As they fumbled with the doors, they realized they had no idea how to operate any of the computers in the IT room.

But just as all hope seemed lost, a voice broke the silence. "What are you two doing here?"

It was Mr. Johnson.

Kevin and Charlie froze. Mr. Johnson wasn't a shadowy figure at all. In fact, he looked just like any other teacher - except he was wearing a very questionable Hawaiian shirt for a Friday night at school.

"You're trying to fix my AI sabotage, aren't you?" Mr. Johnson asked, with a bemused smile.

Kevin gulped. "You did this?"

Mr. Johnson sighed dramatically. "Look, I get it. I was just trying to keep the honor of academia intact. But
you kids are way too clever for your own good. I only slowed the AI down, not completely ruined it."

And then, in a twist that Kevin never saw coming, Mr. Johnson pulled out his own laptop and showed them a working version of EssayBot 3000 that was entirely immune to the sabotage.

"Here," he said, handing it over to Kevin. "Consider this a gift. And next time, do your homework earlier, will ya?"

Kevin stared, disbelieving, as Charlie whispered, "This guy's the hero we don't deserve."

And just like that, Kevin submitted his corrected essay on time, receiving an A- for his trouble. He walked away from the ordeal a little wiser, a little more grateful for Hawaiian-shirted teachers, and a lot more likely to start his essays a few weeks before the deadline.

The end.

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