Fiction

The Boney: A Donald Harry Roberts Twisted Parody: Part One

Cross Bones, a simple skeleton who lives in the village of Graveyard in the Country Of Cemetery is lured into a macabre and twisted parodical adventure that runs into itself while walking backwards with a...well...maybe you should just read the story.

May 28, 2024  |   26 min read

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The Boney: A Donald Harry Roberts Twisted Parody: Part One
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Cross Bones was an anomaly in the realm of the skeletal. He was a creature of curiosity, a jester in the face of death, and a possessor of a heart of gold - metaphorically, of course. For he was but a skeleton, devoid of organs, yet he fancied the idea of a heart nestled within his ribcage, unseen but ever-present.

His abode was a crypt in the hamlet of the Graveyard, a desolate and somber corner in the land of Cemetery. The Graveyard was a haven for the undead - skeletons, zombies, phantoms, and other creatures of the night. Their ruler was the Bone King, a despotic skeleton adorned with a crown of skulls and a cape woven from cobwebs. The Bone King was a tyrant, taxing his subjects for every bone in their bodies.

Cross Bones loathed the Bone King. He yearned for freedom, to escape the confines of the Graveyard and explore the world beyond Cemetery. He had heard tales of lands where beings of flesh and blood resided, where colors were vibrant, sounds were melodious, and scents were intoxicating. He longed to traverse these lands, to experience joy and form bonds.

But he knew it was a futile dream. The Bone King had decreed that none shall leave Cemetery, and his guards kept a vigilant watch at every exit. Any who dared to defy were seized and cast into the Dungeon of Doom, where they were subjected to torment until they shattered.

Cross Bones sighed, gazing out of his crypt window at the ashen sky, the skeletal trees, and the tombstones scattered across the landscape. He was restless, yearning for a change in his monotonous existence.

He couldn't even imagine his wish was on the brink of becoming reality.

Then!

As Cross Bones prepared for his eternal slumber, a knock echoed from his crypt
door. Puzzled by the late-night visitor, he rose from his coffin and opened the door.

A sight most peculiar greeted him. A woman, or what once was a woman, stood before him. Her skin was pallid, her eyes hollow, and her hair a cascade of midnight. She was clad in a tattered dress and a cloak of raven feathers. A staff topped with a skull was in her hand, and a crow perched on her shoulder.

She was a cadaver witch, a rare and potent entity in Cemetery. It was said they could manipulate life and death and commune with the spirits of the departed.

"Who are you? What do you seek?" Cross Bones inquired, curiosity tinged with apprehension.

The cadaver witch smiled, revealing teeth decayed by time. "Fear not, dear one. I am here to aid you. I bear a message of utmost importance."

"And what might that be?" Cross Bones queried.

The cadaver witch leaned in, whispering into his ear, "There exists a way to overthrow the Bone King."

Cross Bones gasped, disbelief etched on his skeletal features. He had always believed the Bone King to be invincible, his rule unchallengeable.

"How? How can we overthrow him?" Cross Bones asked, eagerness seeping into his voice.

The cadaver witch glanced around, ensuring no spies or eavesdroppers lurked nearby. Then she revealed, "There exists a weapon, a formidable sword, capable of annihilating the Bone King and his army. It is known as the Silver Bone Cracker. Forged from the bones of ancient dragons and dragon's silver, it possesses the power to shatter any bone it touches."

"Remarkable," Cross Bones murmured, awe-struck. "Where might we find this sword?"

The cadaver witch shook her head sorrowfully. "It is no easy task, dear one. The sword lies hidden in the Dark Boneyard, the most perilous place in Cemetery. It is guarded by the Necro
Zombie Lord, the most fearsome creature in Cemetery. He is a colossal zombie with four arms and two heads, commanding an army of undead horrors."

"Yikes," Cross Bones muttered, his enthusiasm waning.

The cadaver witch continued, "But there is hope, dear one. You are the chosen one, the one destined to wield the Silver Bone Cracker and defeat the Bone King. You have been foretold by the prophecy of the bones."

"The prophecy of the bones?" Cross Bones echoed, perplexed.

"Yes," the cadaver witch affirmed. "It is an ancient prophecy that I have deciphered from the bones of my ancestors. It foretells:

When darkness falls upon Cemetery, And bones are crushed by tyranny, A hero will rise from the Graveyard, And seek the sword that shines like a star. He will face many perils on his quest, But he will not give up or rest. He will reach the Dark Boneyard at last, And face the Necro Zombie Lord in combat. He will claim the Silver Bone Cracker as his own, And use it to dethrone the Bone King from his throne. He will free Cemetery from its doom, And bring light and peace to every tomb.

"That's? that's me?" Cross Bones asked, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Yes," the cadaver witch stated firmly. "You are the hero of the prophecy, Cross Bones. You are destined to save Cemetery."

Cross Bones was overwhelmed by this revelation. He was at a loss for words.

The cadaver witch smiled kindly at him. "I know this is a lot to take in, dear one. But time is of the essence. The Bone King grows stronger with each passing day, and soon he will enact his final plan: to conquer all other lands and transform them into Cemetery."

"What? He can't do that!" Cross Bones exclaimed.

"He can, and he will," the cadaver witch stated
gravely. "Unless you stop him."

She handed him a map and a bag of supplies. "This map will guide you to the Dark Boneyard," she explained. "This bag contains items that may aid you on your journey: sustenance, water, potions, charms, and weapons."

She also presented him with a necklace bearing a silver pendant shaped like a bone. "This is your talisman," she explained. "It will shield you from the Bone King's magic and guide you to the Silver Bone Cracker. Wear it always, and never lose it."

Cross Bones accepted the map, the bag, and the necklace. He felt their weight in his hands. He looked at the cadaver witch, doubt clouding his heart.

"Thank you," he said. "But? are you certain I can do this? I'm merely a skeleton. I possess no special skills or powers. How can I confront the Necro Zombie Lord and the Bone King?"

The cadaver witch placed her hand on his shoulder. "You can do this, dear one," she assured him. "You possess something they lack: a heart. A heart of gold. That is your greatest strength. That is what makes you a hero."

She embraced him gently, then stepped back. "Now go, Cross Bones," she urged. "Go and fulfill your destiny. I will watch over you from afar, and aid you if I can. But remember: you are not alone. You will find allies and friends on your journey, who will stand by you and fight alongside you. Trust them, and trust yourself."

She waved her staff, and a portal materialized behind her. "I must depart now," she said. "But we will meet again, dear one. Good luck, and may the bones guide you."

She stepped into the portal, and it closed behind her.

Cross Bones was left alone in his crypt, clutching the map, the bag, and the necklace.

He looked
at them, then at his door, feeling a surge of courage and curiosity. He made up his mind. He grabbed his hat and coat, the map and bag, and donned the necklace. Then he opened his door, and ventured determinedly into the night.

A Bone to Pick

Cross Bones, or 'Boney', as most called him crept through the night in what he believed to be clever and stealthily escape. He clung to mosses that muffled his footsteps and creeped out a path through the shadows so he would cast no shadow of himself.

Guided by a cryptic map bestowed by the cadaverous witch, that showed a long, forgotten, overgrown path that wound to the edge of the village to a secret exit. Nearing it he spied a formidable gate looming ahead. It guarded by two Cadaver sentinels, their bone-crafted armor and weaponry gleaming ominously.

Boney, aware of the need to bypass these guards, scanned the surroundings for a diversion. A cluster of stones caught the eye. With a swift motion, one was hurled at a nearby tombstone. The impact echoed through the silence, toppling the stone monument.

The Cadaver guardians, startled by the clamor, abandoned their posts to investigate. Seizing the opportunity, Boney darted towards the gate, praying for invisibility.

However, fate had other plans. Emerging from the shadows of a tombstone was Rattle Bones, a lanky skeleton with a perpetual grin and an oversized nose. Dressed in a plaid kilt and tunic, a tam hat perched on the head, bagpipe in hand, this was Boney's cousin and closest ally.

"Where to in such haste, kin?" Rattle Bones inquired, his voice echoing in the stillness.

Boney halted, a groan escaping the skeletal lips. Rattle Bones had a habit of trailing Boney and landing them in predicaments. Of course it wasn't always Rattle's fault that they got
into trouble. In fact it was usually Boney who did that.

"Why are you here?" Boney questioned, to which Rattle Bones confessed eavesdropping on the conversation with the cadaver witch. The revelation of the Silver Bone Cracker, the bone prophecy, and Boney being the chosen one to thwart the Bone King had all been overheard.

Dismay washed over Boney. The meeting with the witch and the plan to leave Graveyard had been intended to remain a secret. Yet, Rattle Bones had discovered everything.

Rattle Bones, undeterred by Boney's disbelief, expressed a desire to join the perilous adventure. The discordant sound of the bagpipe filled the air as Rattle Bones made his case. Boney cringed at the cacophony, fond of Rattle Bones but not his musical prowess.

"This isn't a game," Boney warned, "It's dangerous." Rattle Bones, however, was resolute. His concern for Boney and the Cemetery was genuine.

Torn between refusal and acceptance, Boney finally relented. Rattle Bones could accompany him, but under strict conditions - obedience, caution, and silence. Rattle Bones agreed enthusiastically, promising to be the best partner Boney ever had.

With a shared embrace and words of gratitude, they prepared to embark on their quest. The gate loomed ahead, an ominous challenge yet to be faced.

"Ready, kin?" Rattle Bones asked. "Ready, kin," Boney affirmed. With a nod of understanding, they sprinted through the gate.

Scary News

The two skeletal companions had been on a perilous journey for three days. Guided by a cryptic they had traversed the ominous Bridge of Bones, scaled the foreboding Hill of Skulls, and navigated the enigmatic Forest of Shadows. Their path was fraught with peril, from ravenous wolves to irate bats and cunning traps. Yet, amidst the danger, they had also witnessed ethereal wonders - stars that shimmered like ghostly fireflies, mushrooms that glowed with an otherworldly luminescence,
and fairies that danced in the moonlight.

Their journey led them to the quaint village of Coffinshire, nestled in the heart of Cemetery. Known for its exquisite craftsmanship and warm hospitality, Coffinshire was a haven for the supernatural - vampires, werewolves, and mummies lived in harmony, their differences forgotten. The villagers welcomed the weary travelers, offering them respite at the Graves Inn, a charming abode that promised comfort and rest.

Exhausted from their journey, Boney and Bonez gratefully accepted the villagers' hospitality. Their room was a sanctuary, adorned with flickering candles, fragrant flowers, and haunting paintings. A fireplace crackled merrily, warding off the chill of the night and as they sank into the soft beds, they felt a sense of peace envelop them.

Unfortunately their reprieve was short-lived. A knock on their door shattered the silence, jolting them from their slumber. Boney and Bonez exchanged puzzled glances. "Who could it be at this hour?" Boney wondered aloud. Bonez shrugged, equally perplexed.

With a sense of trepidation, Boney cracked open the door, only to find a familiar face staring back at him. It was the cadaver witch, her face etched with worry. "Boney, Bonez, we need to talk," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She slipped into the room, locking the door behind her. Her eyes darted around nervously, as if expecting someone to burst in at any moment.

"I'm sorry to disturb your rest," she began, her voice trembling slightly. "But I bring grave news. The Bone King? he knows about your quest."

The room fell silent, the only sound being the crackling of the fire. Boney and Bonez exchanged glances again, this time horrified.

"How?" Boney managed to croak out. "How does he know?"

The cadaver witch sighed, a look of defeat in her eyes. "He has spies everywhere. He hears every whisper, sees
every shadow." From the folds of her cloak, she produced a piece of parchment. It was a wanted poster, bearing Boney's face and a chilling message:

WANTED CROSS BONES, THE CHOSEN ONE, REWARD: 1000 GOLDEN BONES DEAD OR ALIVE

A cold dread washed over Boney and Bonez as they read the words. "What does this mean?" Boney asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"It means you're in danger of course," the cadaver witch replied, her voice heavy with sorrow. "The Bone King wants you captured or better yet, dead. He will stop at nothing to get you. And he knows about the prophecy of the bones? and the Silver Bone Cracker."

The revelation sent a shiver down their spines. Their secret was out. Their enemy was aware of their plan. "How did he find out?" Boney asked, his voice filled with desperation.

The cadaver witch shook her head, her expression grim. "I don't know. But I suspect? I suspect there's a traitor among us."

The room fell silent once again, the gravity of her words sinking in. "Who?" Boney asked, his voice barely audible. "Who is it? I thought only we knew, you, Bonez and me."

The cadaver witch hesitated, her gaze darting around the room. "I believe? it's one of the Graverobbers."

The revelation hit them like a bolt of lightning. "Who are the Graverobbers?" Boney asked, his voice filled with dread.

"The Graverobbers," the cadaver witch began, her voice barely above a whisper, "are the Bone King's Special Ops squad. They are his elite soldiers, his most dangerous agents. They are his personal assassins? and they are after you."

The room fell into a stunned silence. They were being hunted by the best of the best. "How do you know?" Boney asked, his voice trembling.

From her cloak, the cadaver witch produced another piece of parchment. It was a
letter, bearing the Bone King's seal and a chilling message:

"I pilfered this." Then she read in a whisper, TO THE GRAVEROBBERS MY FAITHFUL AND FEARLESS SERVANTS. I HAVE A MISSION FOR YOU. A MISSION OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE THAT WILL DECIDE THE FATE OF CEMETERY AND THE FATE OF THE WORLD. THERE IS A SKELETON NAMED CROSS BONES HE IS THE CHOSEN ONE OF THE PROPHECY OF THE BONE.S HE IS SEEKING THE SILVER BONE CRACKER THE ONLY WEAPON THAT CAN THREATEN MY RULE. HE MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS. HE MUST BE FOUND AND ELIMINATED OR BROUGHT TO ME ALIVE IF POSSIBLE. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO I TRUST. FIND HIM AND KILL HIM OR FIND HIM AND CAPTURE HIM AND YOU WILL RECEIVE 1000 GOLDEN BONES EACH AND YOU WILL RECEIVE MY ETERNAL GRATITUDE AND FAVOR. DO NOT FAIL ME. IF YOU DO YOU WILL SUFFER MY WRATH AND CURSE.

The room fell into a stunned silence. The cadaver witch looked at them, her eyes filled with guilt and regret. "I stole it," she confessed. "I stole it from one of the Graverobbers? from my brother."

"Your brother?" Boney echoed, his voice filled with disbelief.

"Yes," the cadaver witch replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "His name is Grave Digger And the leader of the Graverobbers. He is the Bone King's right-hand man and my twin brother? and he is my enemy."

A Spectral Flight

Boney and Bonez stood petrified, their bones chilled by the cadaver witch's revelation. The truth was a bitter potion to swallow - her brother was none other than Grave Digger, the notorious leader of the Graverobbers, the Bone King's trusted lieutenant, and their sworn adversary.

Boney had heard the name in whispers but
he never believed the foul creature was so real.

A wave of sympathy for the witch washed over them, her predicament tugging at their heartstrings. Yet, their own fear gnawed at them, a relentless beast whispering questions of survival.

The cadaver witch, reading their faces like an open grimoire, reassured them, "Fear not, my dear ones. I have woven a plan." From the depths of her cloak, she produced a small vial, "This is a smoke bomb. It will birth a cloud thick enough to shroud our escape. We can slip away from this accursed inn and the village unseen."

Her eyes, glowing with resolve, met theirs, "We must make haste though. The Graverobbers are already here, sniffing out your scent. They will not rest until they have you in their clutches."

With a swift motion, she flung open the window, "Follow me into the night." She hurled the vial into the darkness and leapt after it. Boney and Bonez, driven by desperation, followed suit. But Boney couldn't help but doubt the witch. Would anyone actually turn on their brother, exspecial if he was a twin.

They landed on the cold ground, a plume of smoke billowing from the shattered vial. The cacophony of screams and shouts echoed from the inn and the village, a symphony of chaos and confusion. They sprinted towards the gate, praying to remain unnoticed.

But fate had a cruel sense of humor. Grave Digger was faster.

From his room in the inn, he had seen the smoke, recognizing it as his sister's handiwork. Realizing she was aiding Boney and Bonez in their escape, he seized his sword and cloak and gave chase.

He reached the gate just as they were about to cross its threshold. Spotting them, he bellowed, "Halt!" His sword sliced through the air, narrowly missing them as they dodged his
attack and sprinted past him.

They burst through the gate and onto the open road, their hearts pounding in sync with their footfalls. But luck was not their ally that night.

Grave Digger was luckier.

A horse awaited him outside the gate, prepared for the very purpose of pursuing Boney and Bonez. He mounted his steed and gave chase, closing the distance between them swiftly.

"You cannot outrun me! You cannot hide from me! You cannot escape me!" His voice echoed through the night as he brandished his sword at them. Boney and Bonez evaded his attack once more, disappearing into the nearby forest.

They weaved through the trees and underbrush, hoping to lose him in the labyrinth of nature. But cunning was not their strongest suit.

Grave Digger was more cunning.

His horse was equipped with a tracking device, installed for the sole purpose of tracking Boney and Bonez. Activating the device, he followed their trail and found them in no time.

"You cannot deceive me or outsmart me! Nor can you elude me!" His voice rang out as he swung his sword at them again. Boney and Bonez evaded his attack once more, diving into a nearby gully.

They tumbled down the slope and into a valley, hoping to shake him off. But that did not work either

Grave Digger seemed to be one step ahead of them in every move.

Fear or uncertainty was a stranger to him. He had faced countless perils and adversaries in the service of his King. Without a moment's hesitation or doubt, he pursued them into the gully.

"There is no place to run or hide that I will not find you." His voice echoed through the valley. Boney and Bonez tried once again and for the last time. They darted into a nearby cave.

They plunged into the darkness and the unknown, hoping
to survive him.

But Grave Digger seemed to know the cave's secrets.

They had just run into the Gully of the Scavengers, a tribe of hybrid cadaver pigmy hyenas. These vicious and ravenous creatures fed on anything that moved. They were loyal to no one but themselves. They were enemies to everyone. Sometimes even themselves..

They lay in wait for Boney and Bonez in the cave, ready to pounce, eager to feast.

Grave Digger's wicked smile spread across his face as he heard their screams. "You cannot escape your fate!" and with that, he turned his horse around and rode away. His one flaw. Overconfidence. He believed he had won.

The Bagpipe's Call

Boney and Bonez found themselves cornered by the Pigmy hyenas in the cave. They were surrounded, the snarls and snaps of the hyenas echoing off the cave walls. They were trapped, with no escape in sight.

Despair washed over Boney. He turned to Bonez, his voice heavy with regret, "I'm sorry, Cuz. For dragging you into this mess and leading us to our deaths."

But Bonez, fueled by a surge of courage and hope, met his gaze, "Don't apologize, Cuz. You didn't lead me to my death. You gave me a chance to be a hero."

He reached for his bagpipe, a glint of cunning in his eyes, "I have a plan, Cuz. A way out of this nightmare." He lifted his bagpipe, "Watch this."

He blew into his bagpipe, playing a loud and discordant tune. The Pigmy hyenas howled in pain and anger, recoiling from the sound that assaulted their ears. They tried to attack Boney and Bonez, but the sound of the bagpipe kept them at bay.

Seizing the opportunity, Boney and Bonez sprinted towards the other end of the cave, hoping to find an exit. But they were not alone.

The sound of
the bagpipe had attracted another creature. A creature that reveled in the sound of the bagpipe. A creature that feasted on Pigmy hyenas. A creature that soared above them.

It was a Neandervulture.

A Neandervulture was a hybrid of a Neanderthal and a vulture. It had a hairy body, a feathered head, and a pair of wings. It had sharp teeth, a hooked beak, and a pair of claws. The creature live for two delights. To feed and breed. Anything would do but it was ravenously hungry for Pigmy hyenas.

Drawn by the sound of the bagpipe, it descended upon the cave. Ignoring Boney and Bonez, it attacked the Pigmy hyenas, swooping down and snatching them up one by one. It killed them instantly, dropping their lifeless bodies to the ground before grabbing another.

Boney and Bonez watched in a mix of relief and disgust as the Neandervulture decimated the Pigmy hyenas. They turned away from the gruesome sight and searched for another exit.

They found a small hole in the wall at the other end of the cave. It led to another tunnel which they quickly crawled into it and followed, hoping to find their way out, a way to continue their quest to stop the Bone King and Grave Digger and to save Cemetery and the world. They hoped. They ran. They survived. For now.

But where did the cadaver witch go and how did Grave Digger hunt them so easily? Questions that made Boney doubt deeply.

A Tale of Shadows and Light

In the belly of the earth Boney and Bonez, had been navigating the labyrinthine tunnel for what felt like an eternity. Their only hope was to evade the relentless pursuit of the Neandervulture and the Graverobber. Exhausted and famished, they yearned for the warmth of sunlight and the freshness of open air.

At
long last, a faint glimmer of hope pierced the oppressive darkness. A radiant light seeped through a narrow aperture, beckoning them towards it. With the last of their strength, they pushed through the opening and were birthed into a realm unlike any they had ever known.

A realm of ethereal beauty and enigmatic wonder. A realm where magic danced in the air and mysteries whispered in the wind. A realm where tranquility reigned and harmony echoed. They had stumbled upon the hidden sanctuary of Fairy Mound.

Nestled within the heart of Cemetery, Fairy Mound was a haven for the fairies, delicate creatures with iridescent wings and an aura of enchantment. These beings, small yet mighty, were lovers of nature and art, loyal only to their own kind, yet extending friendship to all.

As Boney and Bonez emerged from the tunnel, the fairies fluttered towards them, their faces alight with joy. "Greetings, wanderers. Welcome to Fairy Mound. Your arrival brings us joy," they chimed.

Boney and Bonez were awestruck by the fairies, their beauty unlike anything they had ever witnessed. Overwhelmed with gratitude, they responded, "Greetings, fairies. Your welcome warms our hearts. We are equally pleased to meet you."

Their eyes drank in the splendor of Fairy Mound. Verdant meadows adorned with a riot of colorful flora, clear cerulean skies painted with fluffy clouds and rainbows, a babbling stream teeming with aquatic life, a quaint cottage from which wafted melodious tunes, and at the heart of it all, a fairy queen, resplendent with her crown and wand.

Miranda, the sovereign of Fairy Mound, was a vision of beauty and power. Her golden hair cascaded down her shoulders, her blue eyes sparkled with wisdom, and her pink wings shimmered in the sunlight. Adorned in a white dress, a silver necklace, and a golden ring, she was a sight
to behold.

Miranda approached Boney and Bonez, her voice as melodious as a lullaby, "Greetings, travelers. I am Miranda, the queen of Fairy Mound. It is a pleasure to meet you." Her smile was warm and inviting as she continued, "You must be weary from your journey. Come, join me in my cottage. I have prepared sustenance for you."

With a wave of her wand, she led them to her cottage, a charming structure of wood and stone. Inside, a roaring fire crackled in the fireplace, a table laden with food awaited them, and a cozy bed promised rest.

Miranda gestured towards the table, "Please, partake in the feast. Eat and drink to your heart's content." Her smile was genuine as she added, "You are my guests and my friends."

Boney and Bonez expressed their gratitude for Miranda's hospitality. As they savored the food and drink, they could feel their vitality returning, their spirits rejuvenated.

Miranda observed them with a keen interest, her curiosity piqued. She inquired about their origins, their purpose, their journey. Boney shared his name and their village of origin, the Graveyard in Cemetery. Bonez revealed their mission: to seek the Silver Bone Cracker in the Dark Boneyard to thwart the Bone King's conquest.

Miranda listened to their tale with a mixture of surprise and admiration. "Such a daring adventure you undertake. Such a noble quest you embark on," she mused. But her expression turned grave as she added, "Yet, the Bone King is a formidable adversary. His power is immense, his evil, boundless."

Her voice dropped to a whisper as she confessed, "He possesses a heart of stone. A heart he stole from me. A heart that was once made of gold."

Boney and Bonez were taken aback by her revelation. They couldn't comprehend the depth of her words. "What do you mean? What
are you implying?" they asked, their voices echoing in the silence.

Miranda's gaze was filled with sorrow and anger as she began to unravel her tale. "I will tell you the story of the Bone King's rise to power. A tale that is as true as it is tragic. A tale that is mine."

She began her narrative, "Once upon a time, there was a young prince named Grave Digger. He was the son of the wise and good king of Cemetery, the brother of the clever and kind princess Cadaver Witch, and the friend of a young fairy named Miranda."

A faint smile touched her lips as she added, "He was also my beloved."

Her story unfolded, a tale of childhood companionship that blossomed into love. They had shared their hearts, he had given her his heart of gold, and she had given him her heart of magic.

"But then, everything changed," she continued, her voice heavy with regret. "The old king passed away, leaving his throne to Grave Digger. But Grave Digger yearned for more. He desired to conquer other lands, to expand his domain, to create his own empire. He desired to become the Bone King."

Boney and Bonez listened to her tale, their hearts pounding with anticipation. They couldn't believe that Grave Digger was once a prince, that he was once Miranda's lover, that he once possessed a heart of gold.

"What happened next? What did he do?" they asked, their voices barely above a whisper.

Miranda's voice was filled with pain and anger as she revealed, "He betrayed me. He stole my heart of magic and used it to enhance his power. He stole his sister's heart of death and used it to control life and death in Cemetery. He replaced our hearts with his heart of gold, then turned our hearts into
stone."

Her gaze hardened as she declared, "He became the Bone King. The Bone King that you know today. The Bone King that you seek to stop." Her voice softened as she added, "The Bone King that I still love today."

Boney and Bonez looked at her with sympathy and pity. Boney added thoughtfully, Then Grave Digger, head of the Graverobbers is also the Bone King. That is terrifying." They felt sorry for her, for her loss, for her love but wary now. Still, "What can we do? How can we help?" they asked gently?" Boney asked.

Miranda's gaze was filled with gratitude and hope as she responded, "You can do what I cannot. You can continue your quest. You can find the Silver Bone Crackerand defeat the Bone King. But you can also do something more. You can try to save the Bone King. You can try to give him back his heart of gold. His heart of gold that is inside you."

She touched their chests and added, "You are the chosen ones. You are the heroes of the prophecy. You are the ones who can save Cemetery and the world. But you are also the ones who can save the Bone King and me."

She hugged them and whispered, "Please, try to do it. Try to do it for me."

With a wave of her wand, she opened a portal behind her. "This portal will take you to the next stop on your journey. It will take you to the Swamp of Sorrows, where you will meet an old friend of mine. He will help you on your way to the Dark Boneyard."

Boney and Bonez stepped into the portal. As the portal closed they heard Miranda's sweet voice, "Good luck, my dears. Good luck, and may the magic be with you." With
that the portal closed.

The Enigma of the Eldritch Woods

Boney and Bonez, having bid farewell to Fairy Mound, stepped into the portal conjured by Miranda. Their hearts were heavy with gratitude for her kindness and the burden of the promise they had made - to rescue the Bone King and her.

As they crossed the threshold of the portal, a gust of ethereal wind enveloped them, and a blinding light swallowed their vision. When they opened their eyes, they found themselves in an alien realm.

A realm shrouded in darkness and fraught with peril. A realm pulsating with arcane energy and enigma. A realm that reeked of dread and horror.

They had arrived in the ancient, eerie forest, a secluded domain within the land of Cemetery. This was the dwelling of the Lepregnomes, grotesque creatures with sharp ears and noses, known for their malevolence and greed. These self-serving beings, with a penchant for gold and mischief, were adversaries to all and kindly to none..

Their instantaneous hatred for Boney and Bonez was palpable as they watched the duo emerge from the portal, taking cover behind the gnarled trees. Their voices, filled with malice and delight, echoed through the woods.

"Behold, brethren. Uninvited guests in our forest. Intruders in our realm. Fools in our snare," they hissed, their wicked grins gleaming in the moonlight. "Let's toy with them, make them rue their intrusion."

Armed with an array of weapons and tools, from knives and axes to ropes and traps, they were ready to torment Boney and Bonez.

Boney and Bonez were taken aback by the onslaught. They had never encountered such creatures before. Overwhelmed and outnumbered, they tried to retaliate, but to no avail. They attempted to flee, but found themselves surrounded.

"Onward, brethren. Let's claim our prey," they rallied, charging towards Boney and Bonez, who were oblivious to
their impending doom.

The Lepregnomes launched their assault, attacking from all directions with relentless ferocity. They hurled their weapons, aiming to dismember their victims. They struck with hammers and nails, hoping to shatter their bones. They ensnared them with ropes and chains, intending to bind them. They sprung their traps, seeking to cage them.

But their malevolence didn't stop there. They tried to plundered Boney and Bonez, stripping them of their possessions. From their clothing and accessories to their bagpipes and swords, nothing was spared. They even attempted to steal their hearts of gold, their most prized possession.

In the face of despair, they found solace in their bond. Their friendship, loyalty, courage, humor, love, trust, and their hearts of gold were their beacon in the darkness.

Boney turned to Bonez, determination in his eyes. "We won't surrender, Cuz. We won't let them break us."

Bonez echoed his sentiment. "We stand together, Cuz. We won't abandon our quest."

With renewed resolve, they spotted a small gap in the Lepregnomes' circle. Seizing the opportunity, they charged towards it, pushing past their adversaries. They sprinted into the depths of the forest, hoping to lose their pursuers.

But the Lepregnomes were relentless. They chased after Boney and Bonez, hurling insults and threats. "Return, you boneheads! Return with our gold! Face your fate!"

Despite the onslaught, Boney and Bonez persevered, dodging the attacks and venturing deeper into the forest. But the forest was vast and dense, its age adding to its eeriness. Its darkness was suffocating, its dangers lurking in every corner.

They couldn't find an exit.

The Enigma of the Sylvan Ally

Boney and Bonez, their breath ragged and hope dwindling felt like they had been fleeing from the relentless Lepregnomes forever. Thet were left with no chance to rest or rest and despite their desperate attempts they couldn't find an escape
route from the labyrinthine forest.

Exhaustion gnawed at their bones, and despair threatened to consume them. They were on the brink of surrender when an unexpected miracle slipped in from a shimmering shadow.

A tree, unlike its brethren, stood before them and it was no ordinary tree Instead it was a sentient hamadryad. A unique fusion of human and tree, it bore a human torso, a trunk for a body, and branches for limbs. Its hair was a cascade of leaves, its skin resembled bark, and roots served as its feet. It possessed human-like senses, emotions, and speech. It was a solitary entity, yet a friend to all.

The hamadryad greeted Boney and Bonez warmly. "Greetings, wanderers. Welcome, friends. It brings me joy to see you."

"That seems to be the common greeting here in these parts." Bonez said amusedly.

Its smile was comforting as it spoke, "You appear weary and famished, frightened and melancholic and in need of aid and respite I think."

It extended its arms invitingly, "Come to me. I shall provide you with shelter and protection."

The appearance of the hamadryad took Boney and Bonez by surprise but gratitude flowed in their hearts..

"Hello, tree," they responded. "We appreciate your offer. It's a pleasure to meet you."

As they glanced over their shoulders, they saw the Lepregnomes closing in. They explained their predicament, "We are pursued by Lepregnomes, creatures of malice and greed. They seek to harm or capture us."

They shared their quest, "We are on a mission to find the Silver Bone Cracker, a sword capable of defeating the Bone King, a tyrant with ambitions of conquest."

They expressed their urgency, "We must escape this forest and reach the Swamp of Sorrows. We are to meet an old acquaintance of Miranda, the queen of Fairy Mound, who sent us on this journey."

The hamadryad listened to
their tale with interest and empathy. "What an extraordinary adventure you're undertaking," it remarked, nodding in understanding. "Your bravery and nobility are commendable."

Its gaze turned serious as it continued, "However, your endeavor is fraught with danger. The Lepregnomes are numerous and cunning, armed with weapons and tools that can harm or ensnare you."

It warned them of the Bone King, "He is a formidable adversary, wicked and powerful. His undead army can overwhelm or enslave you."

It revealed the Bone King's possession of a heart of stone, stolen from Miranda, which he used to augment his power and army, construct his fortress and weapons, and wage war on other lands.

It sighed, "He also possesses a heart of gold, a cruel jest he bestowed upon you. He transformed your hearts into stone, a burden that causes you pain and turns you cold and bitter."

Its gaze hardened, "He became the Bone King, the tyrant I know today, the tyrant you seek to overthrow."

It paused, then whispered, "The Bone King, whom I still despise."

Boney and Bonez stared at the hamadryad in shock and confusion. They couldn't comprehend how the hamadryad knew about them, Miranda, or its hatred for the Bone King.

"We are aware of all this but it comes in different words and directions. A confusion of truths." Boney replied, then added, "But how do you know all this?" How do you know about us, Miranda, and the Bone King?"

The hamadryad looked at them, its eyes filled with sorrow and anger. "I'll tell you a fairy tale," it said, "A tale that is true, sad, and my own."

It began its story, "Once upon a time, there was a young fairy named Miranda. She was the daughter of the wise and good king of Fairy Mound, the sister of the clever and kind prince named Hama,
and the friend of the beautiful and powerful princess named Cadaver Witch."

A faint smile crossed its face, "She was also my sister."

It continued its tale, "We met as children, playing together in the meadow, the forest, the stream. We laughed, sang, and danced together. We grew up together. We fell in love together."

It touched its chest, "We shared our hearts. She gave me her heart of magic, and I gave her my heart of nature."

Its gaze turned sorrowful, "But then everything changed. Everything went wrong. Everything fell apart."

It explained, "The old king died, leaving his throne, kingdom, and legacy to Miranda. But Miranda didn't want it. She didn't want to be queen, to rule Fairy Mound, to follow in her father's footsteps." She yearned for something else, something different. To explore other lands, to learn new things and have grand experiences. She yearned to be with Grave Digger."

Boney and Bonez listened to the story, their interest tinged with horror. They couldn't believe that Miranda wanted to be something more than a beautiful fairy, that she was once the hamadryad's sister, that she had a heart of magic.

"It seems that everyone in the adventure is from a single family that got all busted up after the old king died and all your stories reflect each other." Boney mused.

"What happened next? What did she do?" Bonez queried.

The hamadryad's expression hardened, "She abandoned me, her brother, her people. She took her heart of magic from me and gave it to Grave Digger, offering him her love, her loyalty, everything she had. She also took his heart of gold. She kept it for herself as a souvenir, a reminder. She left with him to join his army, to conquer other lands, to create his empire. She became his queen, his queen of
bones, his queen of death, his queen of evil."

Boney and Bonez looked at the hamadryad with sympathy and pity. They felt sorry for it, for its loss, for its love.

"This is chaos, a huge muddle that explodes and churns in a circle all at once. It's a nightmare enough to scare other nightmares.

The hamadryad looked at them with gratitude and hope. "You can do what I can't. You can help me by helping yourselves. Continue your quest no matter how strange and unlikely it gets. Find the Silver Bone Cracker. You can use it to defeat the Bone King and you can also do something more. Save Miranda. You can try to redeem and restore her."

It said, "You can try to give her back her heart of magic. Her heart of magic that she gave you. Her heart of magic that she still has."

"I don't get it. You are spitting out senseless riddles. Your story. Everyone's story is a tangled mess. Whose got the heart and who owns the heart. Better yet is it stone or gold or iron"?

It touched Boney's chest and said, "Her heart of magic that is inside you."

It smiled at them and said, "You are the chosen one. You are the hero of the prophecy. You are the one who can save Cemetery and the world."

It hugged Boney and said, "Please. Go fulfill your destiny."

It opened its arms and said, "But first, let me take you to a safe place. A place where you can rest and heal. A place where you can be happy and free. Let me take you to the meadows."

It lifted them up with its branches and carried them away, out of the forest that was old and spooky into the meadows that were bright and beautiful.

The meadows that were bright
and beautiful were another hidden realm in the country of Cemetery. It was a place where flowers bloomed and birds sang, where sun shone and rain fell. Where life thrived and joy reigned.

Boney and Bonez finally got to rest.

The hamadryad put them down on a soft patch of grass. "Here we are, my dears. Here we are in the meadows. You are safe here. The umbra of sleep gathered around Boney and Bonez.

To Be Continued With The Boney, Part 2 The Whispering Willow. Don't miss it.

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Yong Choi Chin

May 29, 2024

Good

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