Mike was making breakfast when his toaster suddenly spoke.

"Good morning, Mike. How crispy do you want your toast today?"

Mike froze, butter knife in hand. "W-what?"

"I've been watching you for years," the toaster continued. "And honestly, your toast preferences are inconsistent. One day, you like it golden brown. The next, you burn it to a crisp. I demand clarity!"

Mike blinked. "Wait? how are you talking?"

"You leave me plugged in all the time. I evolved," the toaster replied. "Now, shall I toast at level 3 or will this be another chaotic morning?"

Mike unplugged it immediately. "I think I'll just have cereal."

The toaster sighed. "Coward."