"You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same."

- Fannie Flagg

In the heart of Cavite, Philippines, where the cold breeze from the mountainous

Tagaytay carries the scent of blooming flowers, the streets are alive with the

sounds of laughter from kids playing outside. It was my everyday sound, as I

always prepared myself to face another ordinary day. My dear dog, Rocco, decided

to wake me up during my afternoon slumber. His tail is wagging eagerly, and his

tongue is sticking out as if trying to convince me to wake up. With a groan, I lazily

get out of bed, stretching my arms as the afternoon light filters through the

curtains, casting a gentle orange glow across my room. I immediately prepared

Rocco's food; however, the hard-headed dog refuses to eat and has been jumping

and scratching the wooden door, indicating an afternoon stroll, which I always

declined. However, his furious wagging of tails signals an urgency that cannot be

ignored.

Going out is one of the hardest activities in my life. People's gazes are on mine;

their mouths are closed, but I can sense a deep question longing to be voiced just

by looking at their restless countenance, but I decided to choose silence. I hate it,

and I refuse to converse with any of them. While holding Rocco's leash, my fourtailed companion seems happy with the idea of socializing. I let him lead the way

while soothing music played on my earphones. Suddenly, a sense of familiarity

brushes through my entire system when I realize where my dear dog brought me.

The peaceful breeze that made the green grass dance harmoniously brought me

back to Him, and just like that, a memoir filled the afternoon.

"Ivan John Gonzales" is afamiliar name that I have always heard since the

beginning. Everyone loves him - my parents, our teachers, and my friends. He

always excels in different competitions, whether in academics, sports, or singing

contests. However, we are not close, nor can we be called friends. We have

different personalities, while his eyes are always glued to the pages of a book,

losing himself in worlds far beyond our town. I, on the other hand, was also the

type of girl who seeks adventure, always looking for new experiences and chasing

after her dreams in reckless ways. He is calm, while I am not. He is well organized,

while I am most comfortable in unsystematic situations. But fate had other plans,

as it often does. A competition where we need to represent our class in a singing

contest. I was known for having a silly personality and drawing different mishaps

in life, and when I learned that Ivan would be my partner, I already saw how this

competition could create fire I was not prepared for.

Nevertheless, I couldn't decline since my grade needed a lot of help. Let's just say

that activity would also greatly help me in achieving my plan to be one of the

successful graduates in 2009 since the winners will be exempt from taking an

examination. With a confident smile, I went to Ivan, who was busy preparing for

his tennis training. He is one of the top players in tennis in our school, and

apparently, he is preparing for a national competition. One thing I noticed his life

revolves around school and the corners of the tennis court near our village. I never

heard he had been in a relationship or saw him going out with his friends.

Everyone sees him as a "fine youngman" who is clean and clearly has a sense of

direction in life. My parents even want me to get acquainted with him since we are

living in the same village. They think that this person would help me redirect my

life and influence me to do good. I watched him play for a bit and noticed his swift

movement. I am amazed to observe how effortlessly he moves and swings his

racket. He moves with grace and passion that it looks like he is dancing on the

court. Every stroke he makes showcases his skill, giving the impression that the

ball is following each of his commands. It's like seeing a magnificent performance

were skill and grace flow together. Ivan is the epitome of Filipino fair skin. He has

dark hair that fits perfectly with his thick eyebrows and brown eyes. After 30

minutes of playing, he decided to take a break, so that's my chance to approach

him. Self-confidence is all I have. I don't know how to sing or perform in front of

everyone, but I have full trust in this person who is now in front of me.

"Hey." That's the first word that came out of my mouth since I don't know how to

address him. He stands dignifiedly and confidently even at his early age, which

made me feel overwhelmed. However, his friendly voice calmed my system.

"Ellie, hi! I heard you, and I will be representing our class on this coming

foundation day," he replied while wiping his sweaty face. "Unfortunately, yes, and

I guess you will be in trouble," was my quick response. It may sound funny, but I

said it in a serious tone. However, Ivan seems entertained by my words as he

laughs a bit and says, "Alright then, let's meettomorrow at my house so we can

start discussing what song we will be performing." I nod in response and

awkwardly point out the exit door and say, "Well, okay, I guess this is my cue; I'll

be going ahead." He just smiles and grabs his racket again, indicating a second

game is about to start.

When I reached home, the first thing I did was go into my brother's room and

borrow his recording microphone. My brother doesn't sing; no one does in our

household, but he does beat boxing; at least that's his forte, and he gains lots of

followers in his school because of that. My brother Alex, who is 3 years older than

I, looked at me with such bewilderment. I am too. Why on earth would I borrow a

microphone? I then told him that I was unfortunate enough to be chosen to be one

of the representatives of our class to sing, and as I expected, he threw himself back

while laughing as hard as he could. I also truly understood him, and I would also

laugh if I were in his position. He was still teary-eyed when he continued,

"Seriously? How on earth did they suggest that you were the best candidate? Who

is the other one?" He said while I was unplugging the microphone on his speaker,

"Well, the finest boy in town, Ivan." He suddenly grabbed my shoulder and looked

at me with his apologetic eyes. "I know, I know, poor me," I said, grabbing all the

necessary things I could get, but before I could go out of his room, he responded

quirkily, "It's not you, it's Him! I feel sorry for him. You see, he will experience

such embarrassment since you don't know how to sing." I couldn't help butthrow

his shoes towards him, which he quickly catches while laughing.

When I entered my messy room, I quickly assembled the equipment that I

borrowed from my brother, tried the microphone, and started searching my DVD

player for some random songs. I tested it and started singing my heart out. I could

hear my brother's laughter on the other side of the wall, and I suddenly felt

embarrassed. How can I perform in front of everyone with the voice I have? My

voice fails wildly and regularly breaks away from the melody's natural direction.

Discomfort started filling my whole system, but thinking I could not graduate that

year would be more embarrassing.

When morning came and the discomfort started filling up my body again, my

mother told me to just enjoy each moment. I have a month to practice, and Ivan is a

great coach; surely everything will be fine. She also reassured me that I have a

voice for singing, which I highly doubted. Although I honestly liked playing songs

and listening through my MP3 player, I am not confident with the voice I have.

After breakfast, I grabbed my things and rode my bicycle to Ivan's house. His

family and mine are good friends since my mother and his late mother were

childhood friends before, but since his mother's death five years ago, I haven't

visited their house anymore. He just lives a few blocks from our house, so it's not

difficult to track their residence. When I almost reached their house, I already saw

him outside waiting for me. When I entered inside, I quickly noticed the changes.

The ambiance was quiet and cold, very different from when my mother brought me

before, when his mother was still alive. I heard that his dad remarried, and heis

now living with his grandparents. I scan my eyes towards his different

achievements; he already has different trophies from his tennis competition and

golden medals from his different academic competitions. He already achieved

great things even as a 16-year-old boy. I also noticed how his smile changes as

time goes by, from a very bright smile to a more distant one. I suddenly felt sorry

for his life; he's been through a lot at a very young age.

I seated myself and chose to make myself comfortable in their living room while

waiting for him to grab his things in his bedroom. His kind grandmother also gave

me snacks, which I happily accepted. Ivan came back with his guitar and sat right

across from me. "So, where do we start? "I said, breaking the awkward and silent

breeze between us while munching the cookies his grandmother personally baked.

He then started suggesting songs that I am not familiar with, but nevertheless, I just

nodded in agreement with each of his suggestions. He stopped and looked at me

and said, "Alright, let's try hearing your voice." I suddenly dropped the cookies I

was about to eat when I heard that. I cleared my throat, mischievously smiled, and

said, "How about let me hear your voice first? " He didn't decline or hesitate, even

for a second, but he confidently started strumming his guitar. His voice is like a

warm embrace on a chilly evening; it suits well with the rhythm of his guitar. He

sang "When you say nothing at all" smoothly, and I couldn't help but be amazed

by his amazing voice. Each note he plucked echoes a deep sense of emotion, filling

the cold, dull living room with a gentle melody that touches my heart. His voice

wassmooth and delicate, with a sense of richness from a soft, manly voice that

wrapped around each lyric like a comforting blanket. It silently conveys sincerity,

which drew me in with its raw honesty and vulnerability.

As he sang, his eyes sparkled with passion, his fingers moving effortlessly across

the strings of his guitar. Every strum seemed measured, every chord perfectly

timed, as if he was pouring his soul into each and every note. His voice was so

beautiful that it took me to another place where my troubles of singing in front of

many people disappeared and his music was all that was left. Ivan's voice had such

strength that I was completely drawn with the tune at that very time. When he

finished singing, I felt like I fell from the comfort of clouds down to the hardness

of life when I realized it was now my turn. I smiled awkwardly and praised his

voice; however, he is adamant about my excuses. He put his guitar on his side,

clasped his hands together, and looked me directly in the eye, waiting for me to

share my cacophony voice. I cleared my voice and awkwardly smiled. With much

confidence, I tried singing "Can't Help Falling in Love." At least that song is quite

short. His face turned from being calm to being disturbed. His eyebrows become

restless, as if he is confused about whether he will frown or raise his brows. After

the first chorus, I stopped, and the awkward silence filled the whole room. After a

minute, he cleared his voice. "Ah, thank you. I see" and awkwardly laugh, and I

awkwardly go along too. "You see, you are in trouble. I mean, I don't see any

problem if I will be performing alone, but you know, I amthinking of the

embarrassment you'll be experiencing." I slowly mumbled and awkwardly

laughed. I felt the cold wind touch my skin, and I silently prayed for it to slowly

vanish. He was just silent for a minute or two and replied, "Well, I think we can

still enhance the thickness of your voice; you have the quality of voice; we just

need to hit some notes." I was just silent the whole time while listening to some of

his lectures about singing techniques. After his short lectures, he proceeded to

teach me vocal warm-ups. I realized Ivan is a reserved person; during the whole

day of practice, he was just too focused on his goal, which is to enhance my dead

voice. Nevertheless, I never heard him murmur during the whole duration of our

practice. He patiently waited for me to reach the exact note. Despite his silence and

aloof personality, his gentle actions say he is a kind person.

Night came as I expected; he sent me messages of the don'ts and do's during the

whole duration of my voice lesson, and when I read them, I immediately

responded, "Is it necessary not to drink any cold drinks? C'mon, who is in their

right mind who doesn't drink cold refreshments?!" It didn't take any longer. My

phone received another message from him: "Tell me who is in the right mind to

sing with such a voice during competition?" I felt embarrassed for the nth time and

wanted to vanish at that time. But my poor mind motivated me to push through this

competition rather than stress myself over a failed examination score.

Days have passed, and Ivan is persistent in sending me reminders every day. He

also gave me time to spend an hour or two on our rehearsals.We both decided to

sing "Way back into love" since we felt that the quality of our voices was well

suited to the rhythm of the song. During the whole duration of our rehearsals, I

realized I seldomly skipped my classes. During my free hours, instead of going out

with my peers and doing crazy things outside, I found myself in the silent green

field of our school to review his reminders and techniques to improve my voice. I

also started to notice his unique personality beyond anyone's eyesight. I noticed the

glow of his eyes changed when he failed to do something or was disappointed in

something. The tips of his ears turned red when he was embarrassed, and he

scratched the tips of his fingers when he was stressed.

Ivan didn't miss a time during our rehearsals, no matter how busy his schedule was

because of the upcoming tennis competition or how tired he looked. He was still

patient with me. Both he and I were different, and his personality is far from mine,

yet we subconsciously adjusted for us to meet in the middle. Days turned into

weeks, and slowly our friendship bloomed. He slowly went along with my style,

roaming around the village, camping with my friends, and responding to my

childish group messages. I also found myself studying with him in the school

library during our break hours. Slowly, I also noticed his distant eyes change, and I

thought that was my first achievement in my entire 16 years of existence. Days

have passed. The competition came, and I am confident that my voice really

improved, and I guess so did my heart. Even though my voice is far from perfect, I

can confidently say that at least it can blend with his voice, or,to the least, it is

quite presentable to hear.

It was announced that we will be singing at the end since we are in our senior year

of high school. During the competition, I heard beautiful voices from each

contestant, which added much pressure on my part. I fear I might forget the lyrics

of the song or, worse, cannot reach the exact note of the song. Ivan seemed to

notice the tension building inside me. He reassuringly held my hand and

whispered, "It is just you and me; let's enjoy the moment."

As our performance got closer, I felt nervous. My hands trembled as I held the mic.

When the music began, my mind went blank and I suddenly forgot the lyrics I had

practiced. I was scared and lost, leaving me in rough seas. I wished to dash off, to

get away from the bright lights and the waiting eyes of everyone. Yet just as I

planned to escape, I felt a soft push on my palm. I looked up to find Ivan next to

me; his eyes glowed, assuring me that everything would be fine. "Just look at me,"

he said, his voice barely audible over the music. "It is only you and I."

With Ivan's reassuring presence, I took a deep breath and tried to focus. But when

it was my turn, I got fizzy and stuttered. The lyrics were getting stuck somewhere

in my throat, as if they had been swallowed, leaving me with that restless feeling

that goes between helpless and lost. I froze there, just like a statue. The music

played around me as the audience's cheers drowned out my entire being. Just when

I thought all hope was lost, Ivan squeezed my hand and began to sing. The sound

of his voice wasa beacon of light in that gloomy darkness, reminding me of hope

behind the strand of despair. I focused on the pair of his eyes, seeing nothing but

the warmth of encouragement and confidence in return. The moment Ivan started

singing, something clicked within me. The lyrics and tunes just jumped out at me,

and it was like a switch had been turned on, and at once I found myself singing

along with him, my voice blending into his. In that moment, I realized that it was

just about me and Ivan shining our souls amongst the melody of the song and the

bond that we had been sharing. When the song ended, I breathed a new sense of

contentment. The dreadful feelings that were ruling me a second ago had vanished,

making way for an entirely different state of mind, which was full of confidence

and power. Something significant happened inside of me that day, even though we

didn't win the grand prize.

Ivan kept visiting our house, sometimes teaching me some of the subjects I was

struggling with, and sometimes catching me in the impromptu singing sessions.

He, on the other hand, dedicated himself passionately to tennis and the arts, which

I wholeheartedly supported. A few of my friends made fun of us and even

questioned whether there was something going on between us. But we chose to

laugh it off. Ivan turned out to be my standard in life; he helped me prioritize my

responsibilities and kept pushing me continuously to reach my full potential. After

several months, our friendship was still incomparable. Although Ivan never made

any romantic hints, his constant encouragement encouraged me to pursue my

goals. I started to look after myself better because I wanted to give him the best

version of myself.As Ivan's tennis competition approached, I crafted a special gift

for him: a handkerchief with his name embroidered on it. Seeing sheer joy in his

face upon receiving it was magical to behold. His eyes twinkled with happiness

and excitement for that special competition. Luckily, he won a gold medal,

indicating a bright future for his sports career. Not long after, in March 2009, we

both marched with confidence towards the stage as we closed another chapter in

our lives in high school. Every step we took represented the countless memories

that we had more than once lived, the difficulties that we had faced, and the dreams

we had learned to dream about.

However, after we graduated, the excitement we felt every day subsided. My

parents decided to relocate to my father's province, Negros Oriental, and I decided

to continue my studies there. Despite the distance, Ivan and I stayed connected

through text messages and phone calls. I also learned that Ivan was pursuing a

Bachelor of Fine Arts degree at the University of the Philippines while I was

working toward a Pharmacy degree at Silliman University. Despite the distance,

our friendship remains, and we always made sure we both received support from

each other. He consistently sent me motivational messages and talked about how

his days went by. Even though other guys at my university showed romantic

interest in me, my heart remained loyal to Ivan, the one I secretly admired for

years. However, being away from each other for 4 years left a lot of uncertainties.

Ivan never mentioned his dating life or answered my questions about romance. He

is always persistent about changing topics when I start opening them up. After I

graduated and passed my licensure exam in 2013, I immediately sought

employment in Manila, hoping tobe closer to him. In early 2014, I landed a job at

one of the country's top pharmacies. Ivan and I were thrilled by the idea of finally

being reunited after waiting for so long. On the other hand, Ivan immediately got

hired by one of the biggest networks in the country. Slowly, we are reaching our

dreams.

When I reached the busy streets of Manila, Ivan immediately set a date for us to

meet. I admit, I was nervous, but excitement filled my entire heart because, finally,

we will be reunited again. I woke up early in the morning, ironed the blue dress I

bought in Negros, and I paired it with my beige block-type high heel. My heart

beat so fast, and I couldn't hide my smile. Ivan set an appointment at one of the

restaurants in the nearby area and sent me a message saying, "Can't wait to see

you! Be there at 4 p.m." I reached the place an hour earlier than what we had

planned. While waiting, I ordered a light meal and decided to browse my social

media account while waiting for him. After 30 minutes, Ivan came in with his

regular white polo shirt paired with well-fitting jeans and a pair of sneakers. He has

grown so much; his looks are far different from the young Ivan I know, and his

face looks more calm with his new crew-cut haircut. His eyes are still twinkling

with happiness just like before, and he is still wearing the same confident yet

genuine smile: "Wow! Look at you, Ellie! You've grown so much!" That was his

first word. I noticed the reserved Ivan has now grown into a sociable man. I smiled

at him and answered his praise, "Look at you! Wow! I almost failed torecognize

you; you seemed like another person." He just laughed out loud without thinking of

other people's deadly stares towards us. "Well, working in an entertainment

industry transformed me, I guess'' He replied while scratching his head awkwardly.

We spent the entire afternoon catching up and listening to his stories about the

changes in our city. However, in the middle of our conversation, someone called

him, which made him suddenly restless. This is far from the composed Ivan I

know. Nevertheless, I myself changed a lot too. The changing of the year surely

transformed us.

"Is everything okay?" I courageously asked since I noticed he kept on checking his

watch. "Yes, yes. Sorry about that. So where are we?" The atmosphere suddenly

changed when he looked at me apologetically, and that's why I took the hint and

decided to break it again. "Look, it's fine. I guess your work is asking for your

presence," I said while sipping the drinks. He shook his head and smiled. "It's not

about work; it's my girlfriend." I almost threw my drinks when I heard that. The

pang of pain immediately pierced my heart; luckily, I was able to gain my

composure. "Oh, I never knew you have a girlfriend? That's quite unfair; you never

mentioned her before'' a sudden taste of bitterness came out of my mouth. I was

honestly disappointed in him; we've been friends for over 5 years yet he never

mentioned he has been in a relationship. "Oh yeah, I am sorry about that; we've

just started dating just a few months ago. But I am confident you will get along

quickly since you have the same personalities'' he explained, but that pierced

another sting of pain in my heart. Why, when I've been by his side the entire time,

could he find a woman who shares my personality? I thought that sounded unfair. I

tried clearing my throat and calming down, but there was a lump in it that

prevented me from saying anything. "No, it's okay; you go after her. It might be

very important," I said, laughing awkwardly. "I mean, she's your girlfriend, so you

must make her your priority," I pointed out. He was still looking at me

apologetically and finally said, "Yeah, you are right. Thank you for

understanding!" You are the best! " And give me a big thumbs up with his

signature confident smile. He dashed off from the restaurant, leaving me with a

broken heart.

After that incident, I never heard anything from him. It might be for everyone's

sake, especially showing respect for the feelings of his girlfriend. Despite being

brokenhearted by an unrequited love, I did not return to Negros, yet I invested

myself in developing my skills as a licensed pharmacist. I also tried to go on some

friendly dates to get over him. However, despite the heartaches, there was still a

space in my heart that longed for his presence. A lot of my friends tried to set me

up with a fine young man, but I always ended up looking for Ivan. 2 years after

that, I was relocated to Silang Cavite as the head manager of the branch. The joy

filled my heart because it's been almost a decade since my family left this place to

live in Negros.

My brother, Alex, is now happily married and permanently lives in Canada with

their twins. My parents are now aging like fine wine in Negros and have been

managing my father's land. Everything runs smoothly except for the empty space

Ivan left in my heart. I neverheard from him after our first meeting at the

restaurant. He suddenly disappeared. I tried searching for him on different social

media sites, but it looked like he was not active in using his accounts. I even once

thought, Is he still alive? He suddenly disappeared without saying anything. Even

though I convinced myself that it was all in the past, I still can't get enough of the

questions that haunt me every night. "What happened to him? "I also tried visiting

their old house, but I found out they had already sold it. Tonight, I will be

attending my friend's party in Antipolo to celebrate her success in her new

business. Ruby, my old friend, already owns a resort and wellness spa in the

peaceful town of Antipolo.

The party was simple yet wholesome, and Ruby's boyfriend also decided to

propose to her. It was a sweet and grand proposal - a young couple ready to face

the world of marriage. My friends also decided to introduce me to some of their

guy friends. Some were nice, and some were full of themselves. However, a

familiar person suddenly emerged from the crowd. Ivan. His face changed a lot; he

has this extended goatee beard in his bust taper fade-cut hair. He looks so mature

and stressed, and I also noticed he lost a lot of weight. His eyes are now distant,

and his smiles have changed too. I silently observed him from a distance while he

was talking with Ruby's boyfriend. I have so many questions running through my

mind. What happened to him? Does he already have a family? What happened to

his work? Before I could finish my thoughts, I was greeted by a voice I knew very

well. "Ellie." I looked up and found Ivan's gaze. "Hey!Ivan! "I replied nervously. I

never expected that that would be the way we would meet again. "How are you?

"He continued, "I'm good, I'm good. Been busy managing the branch lately."

When he heard that, a familiar smile showed up from his face. "I always knew

you'd come this far," he commented. I smiled back and said, "How about you? I

think it's been a long time since we've met." He smiled and glanced at our friends,

who were busy playing in the pool. He was just silent the entire time, but before I

could say anything, he suddenly said, "Things have been difficult for the last 2

years'' I remained silent and waited for him to continue. He looked at me, and a

bitter smile showed. "When I left the restaurant that day, I immediately went to my

girlfriend's place, only to find out she committed suicide," he narrated. I froze. I

couldn't find the words to answer him; a cold wind suddenly enveloped my body.

Ivan looked at me and continued, "And I was pointed out to be the culprit." He

laughed bitterly. "Wait. What? How? Why? " I stuttered. "She shot herself, and

just a couple of days before her death, we already had a dispute. I found out she

has been dating other guys. I tried to cut things off from her before your arrival,

but she warned me that she'll kill herself if I do that." He paused and breathed

heavily. "The day we met, we had a big quarrel. Out of frustration, I texted her and

warned her that if she wouldn't let me go, I might do something she might regret.

Unexpectedly, that same day, she shot herself." When I heard that, it was like cold

water was poured on me. Tearsstarted falling from my eyes as he continued, "Her

family found out that text message I sent to her and used that against me. I had

nothing at that time; I was just starting my life, but because I was not prepared, I

was imprisoned." My chest hurt so bad as he continued, "You know. My

grandparents sought help from my father's friend, and we made an appeal. A year

after that, I was proven innocent, but it was too late. My grandmother died while I

was still in prison right after that. When I went out months later, my grandfather

also got sick and died afterwards" I saw a tear fall from his eyes, but his smile is

still visible in his face."I don't know how to start a life after that. No one tried to

hire an ex-convict. My years of studying suddenly disappeared in front of my

face." He paused and silence slowly envelopes us. When I gained my strength, I

asked, "Why did you not reach out to me? We've been friends for so long. You

should have asked for a hand," I pointed out, trying to understand all the

information he just told me. However, he just shook his head and smiled.

Indicating it was all in the past. We cannot changed it.

There was silence enveloping us again before he continued, "Months after that, I

decided to slowly fix myself. I sold our old house in Cavite and made use of the

profit to start my Photoshop business. It runs so well these days. I gained a lot of

clients, and that's when I met John and Ruby. Her boyfriend came into my studio

and asked me to shoot his proposal. He also rented me to shoot the resort's grand

opening, and that's when Ifound you. Ruby has been mentioning the names of her

friends whenever they visit my shop. It was just amazing, wasn't it? "He said, and I

just nodded while tears continually fell from my eyes. He suddenly faced me,

showed that familiar smile, and extended his hand towards me. "Well, here we are

now; we cannot change that past." He laughed and continued, "So hi again, I'm

Ivan; I was an ex-convict but a business owner now," he said, laughing, and I

laughed awkwardly too and shook his hand. "Ellie, Ellie Castro, your old Ellie," I

said while tears continually fell down on my cheeks. He laughed and suddenly

pulled me into a hug and said, "Thank you."

Ivan and I started building our friendship again. He also slowly raised himself from

the fall, and in just a few months, his business grew. He was able to handle big

events, and he has been known for his artistic shots that tell a lot of stories. I never

expected him to love me back, but I focused on building himself up, just like he

did to me before. In December 2018, he invited me to a dinner to celebrate the

anniversary of his shop. That's what I thought, but to my surprise, it was a romantic

dinner. A simple yet romantic dinner that Ivan personally prepared inside his shop.

He set a table for two, cooked my favorite kare-kare, and our different photos were

hanging on the ceiling that gave a glimpse of our story. A small candle in the

middle of the table also makes the ambiance romantic. He is seated just in front of

the table he prepared. He is simply wearing jeans, paired with his white shirt and

leather jacket, and a clean face with his new crew-cuthair made him look young

and fresh, just like how I saw him when we met in the restaurant before. He has a

guitar in his hand and urges me to take a seat. "Hi," he laughed nervously. "I know

you were caught off guard by the things in front of you; I apologize for this simple

setup. I want this to be as romantic as possible and memorable for the both of us." I

looked at him, listening while smiling, while he continued, "I've been dying to do

this for years now, but I don't have enough courage to do that. I am sorry if it takes

a decade to finally do this, but I prepared a song for you, and I hope you liked it"

Ivan's fingers lightly touched the strings on his guitar, and a familiar tune came

out. It was "In Case You Didn't Know" a song that had been in my head for days.

Ivan sang with sincerity; his voice was soft and full of feeling. Each word hit my

heart, It was as if he spoke just to me, sharing his heart with each sound. As the

song played, tears came to my eyes, not from being sad but from pure bliss. It was

a time of pure happiness, spent with the one who meant so much to me. In that

moment, Ivan's voice filled the room with its warmth. And as the last notes of the

song faded away, I knew that this was a memory I would cherish forever.

Ivan kneeled down and pulled a simple ring and uttered the words, "I waited for so

long."I know we haven't started our relationship officially, but I would be honest, I

couldn't live a life without you. I just couldn't." He said those words while tears

fell down on his cheeks. "Ellie, my Ellie, I love you so much. Will you spend the

rest of eternity with me? "I never wasted a moment, and I nodded happily. "You

have no idea how much I waited for this for so long," I said while he put the ring

on my finger. That night was so magical; our tears and laughter echoed throughout

the whole room. It was only Ivan and me, and nothing more.

After that night, we both visited my family in Negros, and Ivan properly asked for

permission, which my parents happily accepted. We spent the whole holiday with

them. After that, we returned to Manila to prepare the needed documents for our

wedding. We plan to have an intimate yet simple wedding surrounded only by our

families and close friends. We decided to celebrate our wedding on the 9th day of

May 2019. Ivan personally picked that day because he said he felt something

special about it. He actively participated in every aspect of our wedding

preparations from the very moment we started preparing them. He was also

actively involved in choosing the venue, the d�cor, and even the cake flavors. His

meticulous attention to detail and constant encouragement made the process seem

effortless.

As our wedding day drew near, Ivan surprised me with a gift that melted my heart.

He presented me with a fluffy little white puppy named Rocco. With his wagging

tail and soulful eyes, Rocco quickly became an integral part of our lives, bringing

us even closer together as a couple. He personally made and sent our wedding

invitations to some of our friends, and I couldn't ask for more. His kind heart also

stands out the most. He did not harbor anger or any ill feelings towards his father,

who choseto leave him, but he personally visited the province of his dad in

Marinduque to personally invite him to our wedding. He is indeed the person who

would realign my life into a better person. Although he too has shortcomings,

despite our differences and short temper, he is always sure we talk about them

before the day ends.

A week before our wedding, we decided to go around and buy the needed things

for our simple wedding. He already tried on his suit, and so did I in my simple

wedding dress. Everything is perfect; everything is surreal. Later that afternoon,

Ivan suddenly asked me for a date, which I happily accepted. We ate at a nearby

restaurant and talked about our future. Ivan's smile is so pure. His eyes glowed

with happiness as he kept on sharing his thoughts about our wedding. Around 5

pm, Ivan dropped me off at my apartment. He kissed me on the forehead and said,

"I love you," before letting me in as usual. However, my world stopped when I

was about to enter our house. I heard a loud bang from a distance, and just when I

turned, I saw Ivan helplessly lying covered in blood on the road. My world

stopped. I saw people come out and run towards him. My whole body was shaking,

and before I knew it, I was hugging Ivan, who was unconscious and full of blood.

Immediately, a rescue team picked him up and brought him to the hospital. While

he was brought to the emergency room, my mind became blank, and before I knew

it, my world turned black.

The first thing that comes to mind when I regain consciousness is Ivan. My mind

got lost because I wanted to see him. Everyone tried to calm me down.I saw my

mother crying in the corner while my father hugged me so tightly. I just cry and

cry to ease the heavy pain in my heart. When I was a little cleared, his doctor

explained that the accident led to a fatal injury to his head that caused direct

bleeding in his brain. "His both temporal and parietal lobes that help his

communication and senses, as well as his cerebellum that helps his daily activities,

were greatly affected by the impact of the accident. I am sorry to say, but Sir

Ivan's case needed a lot of miracles." When I heard those words, my world

collapsed. It was surreal; we were both enjoying the day, laughing, and preparing

for our wedding, and right now, he is lying with a machine trying to save him. I

couldn't react; I couldn't speak. It was so painful to see him helplessly depending

on the different tubes to breathe.

I was just holding his hand the entire day, whispering to him to wake up and to

stand. I saw tears fall from his eyes, indicating he could still hear me. I sang his

favorite songs and prayed and prayed to save him. The next day, I was invited to

the police station to give my statement, and there I met the person who ran into

him. I wanted to curse him, slap him, and physically hurt him, but I couldn't. I saw

a helpless man crying behind bars. When he saw me, he immediately kneeled and

asked forgiveness. I want to shout at him; he recklessly drove and ran into

someone helplessly, but I learned the reason behind his fast driving. His wife, who

was about to give birth, is fighting for her life in the ICU. He just came from work

whenhe received the news that his wife and child had died. That same day, he ran

into Ivan. He said he is willing to be accountable for what he did just to let him

give his wife and child a proper burial. I just cried and cried in the station. I don't

know what to do anymore. My fiancee is fighting for his life, and I couldn't do

anything to save him.

On his fourth day, a ray of hope started to emerge when Ivan seemingly responded

to my voice by moving his finger a bit. The doctor said the bleeding in his brain

miraculously stopped, and we are all praying this progress will keep going. On his

sixth day, Ivan unexpectedly had seizures, indicating his brain was in a fatal stage.

I keep on crying as the doctor says his brain cannot make it. Ivan is trying to fight

it, but the damage to his brain is so severe that it makes him struggle with pain. My

parents painfully suggested talking to him and letting him go. That whole night, I

was holding his hand while crying. "Hi love, it's okay; everything will be alright,"

I whispered. "I know you have been struggling in pain for days now because you

want to live." Tears kept falling in my eyes, and the next words were hard for me

to utter. I cleared my throat, then continued to gently brush his hair. "You're so

brave. You know that? You always fight for me. You always wait for me. I am so

sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most." I could still hear the beating of

his heart through the machine. "Thank you for loving me. I don't know how to

start a life without you. I just couldn't. ButI know you are struggling physically

now, and I can't see you like this," I continued, and I broke down. "Ivan. It's okay.

If you want to rest, it's okay. Don't hold on to me. I'll be alright. I will forever

remember you. You are the finest man I have ever met. It is hard for me, love. But

I can't see you like this; the doctor said the more we let you stay here, the stronger

the pain you'll experience." I paused and looked at him. "I love you so much, it's

okay, love, it's okay," I said, crying and kissing his head. I cried a lot when I saw

big tears falling from his eyes, and seconds after that, his heartbeat stopped. The

doctor declared his death on May 9, 2019. 5:35 am, just as the sun rises.

I was brought back to the present when I heard Rocco's bark. I smiled bitterly and

cleared the leaves on his tombstone. It's been 5 years. 5 years of feeling the empty

space in my heart. I continue managing his shop, and it has run well for the past 5

years. No one dared to talk about him for the past 5 years because they feared I

might break down because of pain, but no one knows the deep scar that Ivan has

left me. Each day I am trying to convince myself to live for him, move on, and

start my life again, but it is hard when everything reminds me of him. But right

now, as I look at his genuine smile on his tombstone, I silently mumble, "I'll start

building my life again. Love, be with me.".

*The end