The Little Helpers
Part I
‘What?’
‘What?’
‘What are you doing?’
‘I am not doing anything. You were looking at me.’
‘No I was not. You were looking at me. I only looked when I saw you looking at me. What?’
The little Agouti mouse jerked his ear in annoyance. For a while, he was silent. They didn’t stop looking at one another.
‘Is something different?’, he asked.
‘Yes, you are still looking at me.’ retorted the large albino one testily.
‘No, do things seem different to you today? I think you have changed since yesterday.’
The albino mouse paused from his disapproving gaze for a moment to ponder. He sauntered elegantly from one corner of his cage to another, like a man pacing in his room, engaged in deep thought.
‘You were not looking at me yesterday.’ he said after a long pause.
‘Will you just let go of it! It’s getting very childish now.’
‘No, I am not accusing you. I don’t think I even knew you yesterday. Were you here next to me? Or did you move here today?’
‘Move? How would I move? These constructions, whatever they are, they are heavy. They don’t move an inch.’ complained the tiny mouse.
‘No? Let me try.’
The white mouse was proud of his physical abilities. Belonging to the strain Murphy Roths Large, he boasted a proud lineage of sturdy mice, blessed with size and healing abilities far beyond that of the common laboratory mouse. Although completely oblivious of his ancestry and their inherent physical superiority, something very innate in him, something belonging to his very core, told him he could move the bindings they found themselves in. He could accomplish any physical task if he tried hard enough.
Boosting himself from the corner of his cage, he sped like a bullet toward the opposite wall. Brute strength was not his only asset though. He also had guile. He had deliberately chosen the corner of the cage with the longer diagonal. He knew he could gain more momentum this way and understood that it would take all the momentum he could muster to topple this steel firmament.
He thrashed into the wall with an almighty crash. But the cage didn’t move. It didn’t move at all.
‘Told you.’ said the Agouti mouse, somewhat condescendingly.
The white mouse ignored his comment. His right side hurt a little from the crash. He licked it intently, pretending not to hear the tiny mouse.
‘We can’t get out.’ announced the Agouti mouse, not unsympathetically. ‘He will be here again in a few hours. I will try talking to him this time. I think that’s our only way out.’
‘Who is he?’
‘You know. . , the one who is trapped with us. He is not so bad. He gives us food, even though he doesn’t have to. If we manage to communicate, he will help us.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You mean you haven’t seen him?’
‘Seen who?’
‘The large shiny box, not very different from the ones we are in. But you can’t see inside him. He glimmers in light though, just like the walls we are trapped in. He comes in once every two/three days. What do you mean you haven’t seen him? Where have you been eating?’
The white mouse scratched his chin, concentrating his thought. He couldn’t recall the instance of him last eating. He did remember being fed though; he remembered being hungry and then having his belly fill up as he ate. But that was it. His memory of the last time he ate was purely a sensation.
‘I don’t remember it.’, he conceded at last. It made him uncomfortable to admit to not being able to do something that the little rat could do. He realized that his thoughts towards his fellow inmate were somewhat adversarial.
‘Never mind’ the little rat said reassuringly. ‘He will be here soon. I have counted.’
‘You counted?’
‘Yes. I have been looking at things for a while now, you know. I have started to count the number of times I have bowel movements, in the time that it takes him to revisit us. The last time it was 112. Before that, I churned out 103 pellets in between their visits. Right now, my count is at 93. He will be coming here soon!’
‘Hmm.’
‘He is not unintelligent’, thought the albino mouse, with a tinge of begrudging admiration. That was quite crafty, keeping track of things by keeping count of your pellets. ‘And he also knows a lot more than me, at least about our current situation anyway. But I can surpass him once we are out. If it comes to a head to head fight, I know I am stronger.’
‘What are they like?’ he asked.
‘He is. .well, to be honest, he is a bit simple. He doesn’t do much. Each time he visits, he seems to do the same thing. I was very afraid of them the first few times I saw him, he is gigantic. I played dead every time he came. But then I realized he knew, obviously, that I was not dead. I mean, why else would he be giving food and water to me?’
‘Hmm.’ the white mouse remarked thoughtfully.
The little Agouti mouse looked at him expectantly, as though expecting some praise of his ingenuity. But none came. Nevertheless, he continued excitedly, his multi-pigmented whiskers dancing vibrantly as he spoke.
‘Yes, I knew he didn’t mean me any harm. I mean he is huge, and I am trapped here, unable to hide. If he wanted to kill me, I would be dead by now. Also, I think he helped some mice escape already.’
‘Really?’
‘I am not sure. But I think so.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I remember a whole lot you know. That’s why I think something’s changed. I don’t think I have remembered this much before. You don’t remember as much as I do. No, that’s why you can’t remember seeing them. I mean you must have seen them! He is huge, and he . . .’
‘How do you know he helped other mice escape?’
‘Oh, right! There was another mouse, right where you are now!’
‘No there wasn’t!’
‘Yes, she had grey-brown furs. Her droppings were huge. I remember.’
‘You remember her droppings?’
‘I mean I remember her. She could not talk like you and I are talking. But she was here, right where you are now.’
‘Impossible.’
‘Why?’
‘I . . I don’t know . . I am here now, that’s why. How could she be here if I am here now?’
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
He had just realized that stupidity of what he had just said. He was panicked. He wasn’t thinking clearly. It unnerved him, for some reason, to know that someone was here before, and right now they had gone somewhere else. Also, the little mouse was right. Something’s changed. He is coming to grasps with it now; the change. But he was stumbling a little bit every now and then. If he was not here before, it’s entirely possible that someone else was where he is now. It seemed so clear now. But just a while ago, it didn’t.
They both realized they had things to think about and understand. The white mouse realized he needed to do so more than his tiny fellow occupant. Of course, he could have asked the little mouse till he got his bearings straight, but he was too proud to do so. He didn’t like it very much when the little mouse explained things to him. He resigned himself to circling his cage in a deliberate methodical manner, every so often breaking into a sprint and then stopping himself with a drop and roll and then springing up again. Whatever lay in store, he felt he would need to be in full possession of his physical faculties. The little mouse, on the other hand, just lay in the corner of his cage, opening his mouth distractedly every once in a while, and looking at the ceiling.
There was loud clacking noise on the door as the lock unlatched.
‘He is here.’ whispered the little mouse excitedly.
The albino mouse sprang up from his roll and positioned himself against a corner in the cage. If it comes to take him, he could make a rush to either direction from this position. He didn’t trust these benign giants that the little mouse counted on so much. Come to think of it, he didn’t trust the little mouse much either. He saw the Agouti mouse prance around frantically in his cage, as if looking for something. At last he settled himself in the center of the cage, and stood up tall in a forcefully dignified manner, like an emissary of a great nation, about to convey its message to the whole wide world.
The rusty, battered robotic dispenser slid into the room with low humming noise. It was crudely designed, with head, body and arms all made up of cardboard like metal sheet boxes. Rust had started to creep up its left torso and its right shoulder appeared to have been violently torn open by an explosion of some kind. A mesh of wires, coolant lines and other components protruded out of the shoulder wound, with torn, crooked steel spiraling around it. It followed the narrow-grooved line on the floor at an irregular pace, while it’s red luminous orb-like eyes flickered as though mirroring the unevenness of its pace.
‘It’s . . . huge!’ muttered the great white rat, his posture unconsciously relaxing from its alert springy state from the disbelief what he was seeing.
‘Shh. . .don’t speak!’ snapped the little mouse. He was eyeing the steel giant intently, his face brimming with purpose.
‘Why.. why not?’
‘You will scare it away! We need to speak to it.’
‘I will scare IT away? You think it’s even capable of being. . .’
‘Shut up! Its here.’
The dreadfully worn out robot stopped exactly 1 foot away from the clamped down cage of the Agouti rat. The little rat gazed up at it, his spine almost bending backwards as he tried to take in the sheer magnitude of the steel colossus. His eyes became vacant as his mouth fell open. He said and did nothing.
The robot lifted its clumsy cardboard arm, attached to which was a tiny sachet of food. It positioned the packet on top of the tiny bowl in the little rat’s cage and punctured it open with a shiny needle that flashed out from the base of its wrist.
‘What are you doing?’ hissed the white mouse across his cage to the little one. ‘Say something!’
The little Agouti rat didn’t seem hear a word of what he said. Tiny specks of saliva started to drool from the corners of his dumbstruck wide-open mouth. His vacant terrified eyes didn’t even blink. He started to make a tiny croaking noise.
‘What . .? What are you saying to it?’ asked the white rat in panic. He wasn’t very much invested in the idea of communicating with the shiny giant when the little Agouti rat told him his plan. But now it seemed very important to him. They had to talk to it!
‘Snap out of it! Speak! It’s moving away from you!’
The little fear-stricken mouse shot one final glance at him, seeming to break out of his reverie. Then with a loud final squawk, he fell straight to the ground and lay there, his eyes open and motionless.
Terror gripped the great white rat. All his attributes, his size, speed, remarkable healing powers, all of it, would be worse than useless against what he had just witnessed! He scrambled around helplessly in his cage, going from wall to wall, uselessly trying to grab the bars of the cage that were too large for his tiny hands. In the corner of his vision, he could see the terrible giant banking towards his direction, its cruel eyes pulsating with malice. He felt helpless and small. He was so small!
The murderous robot stopped 1 foot away from his cage, just as it had done with the tiny rat. As it lifted its arms, holding the food sachet with its tortured, mangled fingers, he caught a glimpse of the shiny needle cased at the base of its wrist. That is what must have killed the little rat. He didn’t see it. He didn’t even see the blood. It must be blazing fast.
He slowly backed away from the giant. He didn’t want to make any sudden movement and spur it into action. Face to face with death, his head was clearer now. ‘I have to stay out of the line of that blade.’ he thought with a breathless calm. ‘He can only cut me if I am on its path. If I stick to its sides, the rods of the cage will protect me.’
The needle flashed out of its wrist with unthinkable speed, rupturing the little pouch of feed. He had anticipated this though. He realized it was a methodical killer. Now, would come the death stroke. The one he couldn’t see before.
He stayed still for a moment, luring the giant into a false sense of predictability. As soon as its fingers moved, he lurched to his right, dropping and rolling on the cage floor lest the strike came before he had anticipated it. Crouched to the side of the steel monster’s kill zone, he remained taut and alert, ready to pounce in either direction once it shifted its hand. ‘I could do this all day, monster.’ he thought, filling up with self-reliant courage.
The second strike never came though. In fact, it didn’t even seem to follow his movement or be aware of him in general. Clumsily rotating itself backwards with a somewhat sad worn-out frictional noise, it lumbered out of the room. The door latch locked itself with a click after it exited.
The great white rat still remained crouched, ready to lurch and dash and sprint to save his life. His heart was racing. He realized he could not move. His arms, legs, necks, all of him really, were clamped shut. Did it get him then, somehow, without him seeing it or feeling it? Was he dying?
‘I am.. I am sorry.’
The little squeaky voice nearly raised his already racing heart to such a pitch that it seemed to him his chest would explode. But his arms and legs loosened finally. He collapsed on the ground, feeling more tired than he had ever felt.
‘You are a coward!’, he finally breathed. He had meant his remark to be biting and hurtful. But it came out dry and matter-of-factly. He really was exhausted.
‘I know.’ replied the little Agouti mouse, fidgeting his tiny little hands in embarrassment.
‘Is this what you have always done? Played dead? That was pathetic!’
‘I said I was sorry! And I saw you too you know! I saw how brave you were with your scrambling and whimpering!’
‘You didn’t say you were sorry.’
‘I did! I mean I said I know which means that..’
‘And I didn’t whimper. I didn’t whimper once!’
‘I really am sorry. I have seen it before, but I . .its’ terrifying! I am really ashamed.’
The sudden surrender of the little mouse disarmed the white rat so much that he couldn’t bring himself to complete his rebuke. And it was useless, he realized. What was done was done.
‘You are right.’ he concluded after a while thoughtfully. ‘It does not intend to kill us.’
‘Yes.’ said the tiny mouse, somewhat relieved that his companion was done shaming him. ‘At least, it doesn’t intend to kill us at this moment.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, it may be saving us up, you know. To slaughter us later. I think it’s the one who put us in these cages in the first place.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe it will eat us when it gets hungry. Or there may be some other things in motion. After all, we can’t see what’s happening outside these walls.’
‘That does not make sense. It has food. If it were hungry, why would it waste its food on us, just to eat us later? And what else could it possibly plan to do with us if we are not meant to be food?
‘I don’t know. There could be something. Everything doesn’t have to be about eating you know.’
‘Really? When was the last time you did anything other than eat? Except drop pellets and mate that is?’
‘I never mated. I mean, I don’t think I did.’ said the little mouse timidly.
This personal revelation gave the white mouse a pause. It occurred to him that he had never mated either. But he didn’t say that to the little mouse.
‘I think I would do other things once I get out of here.’ said the little mouse absentmindedly.
‘Like what?’
‘Well, it’s nothing spectacular. I mean it’s not gonna be like a huge ’
‘What is it?’
‘I . . I really got into counting my pellets before you were here, you know. It was difficult to keep track of them all. So, I developed a method. I would take each dropping and place it in front of one of the bars in my cage. I would do it until all the bars would have a pellet in front of it. Do you know how many droppings you need to have one at each bar?’
‘No.’
’12.’ announced the little mouse with proud yet shy smile. ‘Yes, this is how kept count of all the droppings. I like counting. I will do it more when we get out of here.’
‘You will count?’
‘Yes. There are many things to count out there. I can count the little lumps of soil when I burrow into the ground to make a house. I will be able to tell you exactly how many lumps of soil there are in my home!’
The big mouse had to laugh despite himself. ‘I don’t think any mouse has ever done that!’ he said grinning.
‘Yes. I will be the first!’
‘If we both don’t get eaten that is.’ said the great mouse jokingly.
‘Yes.’ agreed the little mouse, going along with the humor with a slight smile.
Safe in the knowledge that another living being could have no use for them other than as food, which they knew to be a necessity for survival, the two mice felt their moods ease. They let their budding minds wonder to the realm of possibility, when they would be free to count, mate or simply decide for themselves what they would do. The great white mouse fell asleep for a while and dreamt. He recalled the smell of tiny furs, belonging to another breed of giant creatures. He had never seen them or heard of them in any way, shape or form, but he saw them now, daydreaming on the memories of his distant ancestors; they were crafting houses much smaller than their size and leaving little pieces of cheese at its doorstep. He saw their infants, who still towered over him and his kind, run away from him in terror as he rushed to leap onto their lap.
‘Do you think it’s scared of us?’ he asked the little Agouti mouse, waking up from his dream.
The little mouse woke up from his own rested state with a long drawn out stretch. His brilliantly tinged furs jingled as he shook of the tiredness from his body. He remained silent for a while as he gave the question some thought.
‘It’s possible.’
‘I think so too!’ replied the great mouse excitedly, feeling ecstatic that he had ideas of his own now. ‘It would make sense. You are right, I think it’s the one who put us in these cages in the first place. It’s afraid of what we would do to it if we are out!’
‘But why though? What could we possibly do to it to make it so scared? You are a large mouse. A very large mouse actually. Did you think you could even put a dent on its stance if you were face to face with it, without the cage?’
The blatant statement of his physical inferiority compared to their captor made the great mouse a little angry. But there was no denying it though. He had seen the sharp claw the giant sported underneath its wrist. He had seen its frightening speed. It would turn him into chewed meat in the fraction of a moment.
‘Maybe it’s much weaker than it looks.’ he responded as a feeble rebuttal.
‘No, I don’t think so. But I am not saying you are completely wrong. Even if it has the ability to crush us with one finger, it could still be afraid of us.’
‘How so?’
‘Maybe it thinks we are much stronger than we are.’ said the little mouse speculatively. ’Or maybe it has a weakness, and we can exploit it somehow. We don’t know it yet, but it knows so that’s why it keeps us locked up.’
‘I don’t think it has weakness like that. I looked at it really closely.’
‘That doesn’t matter. It thinks so. As far as things go for us, that makes all the difference.’
‘This is . . . confusing.’ admitted the white rat, scratching his cheek.
‘Confusing? Of course it is! None of it makes sense! Why are we here? How did we get here in the first place! And how are we speaking like this! My mind keeps racing past itself, thinking of things that don’t even mean anything to me. Do you think there’s any use, any at all, of making sense of things while we are still here??’
The sudden outburst of his little friend took the white mouse by surprise. He realized that not only was his companion scared but he was also prone to fear. A tiny little shake of the ground and the little mouse would drop to the ground, playing dead again.
‘I didn’t ask for answers.’ he said soothingly. ‘And if there are answers, I know you will be the one to find them. You are right. There’s nothing for us to do now other than get out.’
The little mouse’s chest was heaving up and down, his exotic whiskers haphazardly scattered all over his face from the exertion of raising his voice. His eyes were teary.
‘It doesn’t make sense! It has to get us out. It already did it! A bunch of times! I saw it do it! Why won’t it take me? I won’t hurt it. I will help it once I am out. I will. There’s an opening somewhere, I know it. It’s probably too big for it, that’s why it can’t get out. It had let all these other rats out! Why won’t it let me out?’. A sudden and fierce understanding blazed across the little mouse’s blotched face. ‘I know! I know why it won’t! They didn’t do anything. That’s why! They all just took off, not giving a spit about whether it got out or not. Yes! It thinks we are selfish! It thinks we will just leave it here, trapped, while we go about our merry way! And can you blame it! It must have freed 50 rats by now! Even if half of them had stuck around, we would all be out by now!’
‘He’s becoming unhinged.’ thought the great white mouse. ‘For all his craft, he has the temperament of a child. I need to keep him distracted until the giant comes back again.’
‘What’s your count?’ he asked, after a short pause.
‘What?’
‘How many droppings are we at? We need to know when it’s coming again.’
‘Oh. Thirty, I think.’ Said the little mouse uncertainly. It had the intended effect though. The white rat could see on his face that his mind had shifted to numbers. The panic-stricken fear melted away from his face as he concentrated and set his mind to work. ‘He really does love counting.’ thought the great white rat.
The little rat went scurrying around his cage, trying to arrive at a more reliable number for his droppings. The white mouse settled himself to the front corner of his cage and started munching on the food the giant had left. It was fairly delicious, as far as their circumstances went.
‘You said there were 50?’
’50 what?’
‘You said it had freed 50 rats? Have there been 50 other rats here with you before I got here? How long have you been here?’
‘No, not 50. I have been here a while but as far as I remember, there have only been 4 other rats with me. But there are other places too. I just made an estimate.’
‘There are other places?’
‘Yes. I heard the giant go clanking past our door a bunch of times. If it wasn’t coming here, it must have been going to feed other rats in places like ours.’
‘Well, it could be, but how can you be so sure? It could have been going anywhere.’ the large mouse said in his most reasonable voice. He didn’t want to upset the fragile temperament his companion.
‘No, I heard noises, rat noises. They were screeching and raising a havoc. There are other mice around here. I can guarantee you that.’
‘Hmm.’
‘They didn’t help him. That must be it. He let them out and they scurried away. I suppose he doesn’t think much of us anymore. That’s why he hasn’t talked to us yet.’
‘Yes, that is possible.’ Said the large mouse in a non-committal manner.
The little mouse, however, was not content with the dejectedness of his companion. He wanted the great white rat to share his outrage towards his species. He ploughed on.
‘And even if we rule out the noises I heard, which we have no reason to obviously, there were also the rats here, in this very room. There were four of them. Four. He freed all of them. I saw it with my own eyes.’
This stirred the curiosity of the white rat.
‘Yes, you mentioned. What were they like? You said you couldn’t talk to them.’
‘Yes, they would just screech and make loud noises every once in a while. They took little notice of the giant. Mostly, they were content with having food delivered to them. It just goes to show why the he doesn’t trust lazy little. . ‘
‘You mentioned a girl mouse. The brown one. What was she like? The one who used to live in my cage?’
The little mouse bit into his little claw hand, a little annoyed that the great white rat was so unenthusiastic about sharing his indignation. He liked being asked questions though, especially when he knew the answers. So he replied nonetheless.
‘They were all the same really. None of them did anything other than eat and churn out pellets. I tried talking them for as long as I could. But I wasn’t able to make them understand anything.’
‘Hmm.’
‘The brown mouse, the one who lived here before you came in, she did have a habit though.’
‘A habit?’
‘Yes. She wasn’t scared of the steel giant like us. She would look at when it came.’
‘That’s it. She would just look at it?’ said the great white mouse with disappointment. He had expected something more significant.
‘No, she would really look at it. She would stand at the front of the cage, as close as she could get to it, and just stare it. She would follow it with her eyes as it entered and left the room.’
‘That’s a bit . . unusual I guess.’
‘After it would leave the room, she would still keep looking at it. She would follow the noise it made as it moved outside the room, as if she could still see it. She stood still like this for entire days sometimes.’
‘Strange.’ The white rat concluded after a while, unable to make any sense of it.
‘Yes, it was strange.’
Their theorizing of how things were and what they should do came to a halt at this point. They both agreed that establishing a clear communication with the giant was their best option now. The little mouse, however, seemed a little unenthusiastic about the whole prospect now. He shrugged his ears as he agreed to the plan, but his mind seemed to be far away. The great white rat realized that his friend had started to lose hope. After all, he had been in this predicament much longer than he had been. He resolved to raise his spirits later. For the time being though, it seemed best if he was left alone. Munching on the food in his cage (they really were superbly delicious), he dozed off. As his eyes closed shut, he vaguely saw the little mouse move a pellet pointlessly from in front of one bar to another.
The faint wheezy noise of metallic friction cut through the calm tranquility that had settled in. The little mouse froze. The great white rat woke up with a start and was alert at once. It occurred to him that he could sense its presence now.
‘It’s here!’ whispered the little mouse.
‘Do NOT drop dead!’, asserted the great mouse, trying to sound brave.
‘I won’t. I know what to do.’
‘You said that the last time too!’
‘Will you stop! It’s here.’
The door swung open, slowly, and deliberately, with a low screeching noise. The giant rolled in, pushing its mutilated body forcefully across the room. Like before, it approached the little mouse’s cage.
‘Be brave.’ Whispered the great white rat to his friend.
‘I will.’ replied the tiny rat, with a look of fierce intent on his face.
This time he didn’t scurry around his cage, trying to find a dignified stage. As the beast approached him, he held his ground, his body trembling from the effort of keeping the fear out. The giant stopped 12 inches apart from the walls of his cage.
The little mouse flopped to the ground. The white mouse’s heart skipped a beat. He was doing it again! He was going to play dead! And they would be stuck here forever! Despite all his criticism of the little mouse, he knew he didn’t have it in him to talk to the great beast. Even now, despite being somewhat aware of its benign nature, the sight of those violently red glowing eyes terrified him to his very core. He had to fight every inch of his body to not to try and claw his way out of the cage.
He was mistaken though. The little mouse lowered himself to the floor and propped his tiny head against the food bowl. Little by little, putting his whole body to work, he pushed the half-empty container to the front of the cage, towards the beast. He was offering it his food.
The giant stood looming over the little mouse, his tiny bowl and everything else in the Universe. Pushing the food bowl fully against the front of the cage, the little Agouti mouse stepped back, still facing the giant, and lowered his head in a bow.
‘It’s. . yours. The food is yours. I offer . . . I offer you this offering, this food, that you . . . that you kindly gave me. That you bestowed upon us!’
‘What are you doing?’ hissed the great white rat across the cage. Neither the giant nor the little rat seemed to take any note of him. ‘What are you doing? Ask him about our escape!’
The little rat looked terrified. He ears throbbed and his whiskers quivered. He lowered himself further down into the ground, his nose almost touching the floor. His voice trembled.
‘We are not escaping! I assure you we are not! We are very good. . . we are most grateful to be here. We are lucky, we count ourselves lucky, to be here.’
‘What?? Why are you talking like this! Get up!’
He realized that his little friend was not hearing a word of what he was saying.
The metal beast took notice of none of it. Its clumsy box hands shot up towards the cage with a loud screech. It positioned the little food pouch over where the little mouse stood, the rusty brown ring of the food bowl’s print encircling him.
A frenzy took over the little agouti mouse. Straightening his back, with his head still facing down, he spread open his tiny arms.
‘We are thankful. We are so very thankful for this provision. We are thankful …’
The giant twisted its wrist. The blade flashed out, punching a hole into the pouch. The little grains of food poured generously down into the cage, onto the beautiful stringy furs of the little mouse. The tiny mouse let out a shriek. By the time the food stopped pouring, he had disappeared beneath the pile.
Methodically, the beast turned its gaze towards the great white mouse. As it wobbled towards him, little sparks flew out from the maze of wires that sprang from its torn left shoulder. Despite his terror, the great white moue couldn’t help but marvel at the great beast that would surely be his demise. The sheer magnitude of its being held his mind in awe. He could only imagine what the little flickers of light emanating from its shoulder were made of, or what great power they held. At that moment, he resigned himself to its will. ‘It would not be such a bad death.’ he thought stoically. ‘I would die at the hands of a being whose might is unmatched. If anyone told me now everything began with this beast and everything is destined to end with it, I would happily agree and embrace my fate. But I will look at it. Whatever happens, whatever its intentions are, I will look at. I will keep looking at it till the very end.’
The great beast stopped in front of him. His body felt like it had a mind of its own. Every thin filament of his fur was fighting against him, violently pushing, pulling, and shoving to get him to run. His arms, legs, tail, all his extremities, rebelled against him and tried to take him as far away from where he stood. But he fought them. He fought them all. He would look at it. He would look into its brilliant, terrifying bulbous eyes and take in the grandeur of its design, the exquisite carvings of metal that made up its exterior, the intricate mess of wires, tubes and filaments, much like his own furs, that gave life force to this magnificent terrifying creature. He would see it all. And then he would die, content and proud.
Routinely, the steel giant held up the pouch. As its forearm flexed and it began to twist its wrist, his gaze fell upon its face. It was made of solid steel, the pair of luminous orbs on it the only detectable variation in the terrain. A thousand mice could have scratched, clawed and bit on it as if their life depended on it and it would still be here, unscathed, indifferent to the will of lesser beings. A tiny spark flew from its shoulder again. The white mouse shuddered. Something seemed to come loose on its right jaw. It parted open crookedly, a soft blue light glowing at the back of it.
At that moment, his courage failed him. The sight of its terrible grin blew away the last ounce of will that was holding him in his place. He fell to the ground, quivering, whimpering and crawling to a corner. ‘No. Please! No. Don’t . .. No. No! No.’ he pleaded, closing his eyes shut, unable to bear the sight of its terrible grin. He felt it though, he felt its cruel laugh, eternal and all powerful. No matter how hard he closed his eyes, he could not stop feeling it.
Part II
‘Calm down.’ Squeaked the tiny mouse gently.
‘No. Please! No, I . .. No. I can’t. I . . No. .No.’
‘He’s gone. Calm down.’
‘No.No.’
‘He’s gone! Are your eyes closed? I can’t see from here. Open them. He’s not here anymore.’
The great mouse opened his eyes little by little, frightful at first that the monster would see it. There was no sign of it. He dragged himself from the corner he had backed away in and pulled himself up.
‘Are you alright?’ asked the little mouse.
‘Y. . Yes. I am alright.’
He looked at his little friend. He was still in the pile of grain the monstered had poured on him. But he had spread them around a little so there was room for him to move. Lazily leaning against the mound on his back, he fastidiously cleaned the grains off his whiskers one by one and licked his hands clean.
‘I thought you were dead.’ said the great white mouse pointlessly. He knew he sounded stupid.
‘Haha. It would not be such a bad way to die, would it? Being smothered by a mountain of food!’
The white mouse took a gulp of water from his bowl. It tasted sweet. He drove his whole head into the little pond, wetting his head and back, and shrugged the water off his furs as he put a lump of grain into his mouth. He was finally feeling like himself again.
‘What happened?’ he asked.
‘You saw what happened? Didn’t you? Were you like this the whole time?’
‘No, I wasn’t. And you were scared too! I saw you. I saw everything till it . .’
‘Till you got mad scared and lost your senses?’ finished the little Agouti mouse with a good-natured smile.
‘No! I only got frightened when it was near me. It smiled at me. I think it was mocking me.’
‘No, I don’t so.’
‘Yes, it was. How would you know? You were too busy gulping food through your nose!’
‘Yes, I don’t know what that was. He poured the food on me, not on the bowl. I think I pleased him, that’s why.’
‘Pleased him? What are you talking about? Why were you talking to it like that?’
‘Like what?’
‘Like, all pleading, praising and saying all kinds of nonsense! And why didn’t you mention anything about getting us out?
The little mouse took a pause. For a moment he seemed to gather his thoughts. He stood up straight, taking his back off the mound of food.
‘I don’t think we should escape.’ he said, with a conviction that had been altogether been absent in their journey so far.
‘What?’
‘It occurred to me at the last moment, you know. And it’s good that it did, if it hadn’t it would be really embarrassing. And not to mention, ungrateful too!’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘There’s a reason we are being kept here. These cages we are in, it’s for our own safety I think. He knows we don’t know much and that we will try to escape. He knows we will get ourselves in trouble. He’s put us here to keep us safe.’
‘Have you gone insane?’
‘Look, I know it may seem a little out there. But I know I am right. For the first time since I have been here, I . . ‘
The little mouse chattered on but the sight of him engrossed the great white rat so much that he soon stopped listening to him. All the jittery panic that was so evident only twenty pellets ago had disappeared completely from his friend’s face. His whiskers, which were a messy blotch of panicky streaks, were once again orderly and radiant with a brown tinge. They rustled gently as he spoke, like leaves in a tropical summer breeze. At that moment, he felt a sense of yearning in him, a deep sense of an unsatisfied want that didn’t seem to have any whereabouts.
‘He’s not going to harm us. He’s protecting us.’ concluded the little mouse.
‘He is?’ asked the great mouse uncertainly, his eyes glistening.
‘Yes.’
‘But, . . but how do you know? We don’t know. . . we have no idea. We have no way of seeing what’s . . ‘
‘I know, I know. I am not saying I KNOW. It’s not that. It’s. . ‘ the little mouse paused uncertainly.
‘What? What is it?’
‘I felt it. I felt it. He was here. And I felt it.’
‘Felt it? You felt what?’ asked the great white mouse hungrily. He didn’t know what was happening to him. He had to clench his jaw tight to keep himself from breaking down sobbing in front of his little friend. There was a very deep hollow inside him, it seemed. But something was gushing into it, filling him up. It made him scared, ecstatic. He was braver now than he had ever been before. And he was vulnerable too.
‘I felt safe. No, not just safe. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I was right where was I supposed to be. And wherever we end up, whatever is done to us, it’s meant to be. He is here for us. The way we are, the life we are living, however confusing it is, it is the best life we could have ever had. We don’t have to worry ourselves sick with figuring things out anymore’
The great white rat wanted to respond but his voice broke as he tried to speak. He passed it off as a croak, taking great care to hide himself from his little friend.
‘I know it sounds silly to you. But you need to. . ‘
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘No, it doesn’t sound silly me. I . . I think I felt it too.’
Part III
The pellets dropped and the days passed by, and with regular sustenance and each other’s company, they were content. Expressing ritualized gratitude to their caretaker became a familiar and comforting part of their whole day. With their unique minds, they accomplished feats of thought that no mouse had ever, or probably will ever, accomplish. They become very dear friends. When the steel giant carried away the great white rat, the little mouse shed tears joy and sorrow; he shouted over the sound of his friend’s screeching and howling and told him to be brave. He was going where he was meant to be. You can trust the giant. He would never harm you. Where you are going, you would be happy forever. Much happier than you have ever been.
Part I
‘What?’
‘What?’
‘What are you doing?’
‘I am not doing anything. You were looking at me.’
‘No I was not. You were looking at me. I only looked when I saw you looking at me. What?’
The little Agouti mouse jerked his ear in annoyance. For a while, he was silent. They didn’t stop looking at one another.
‘Is something different?’, he asked.
‘Yes, you are still looking at me.’ retorted the large albino one testily.
‘No, do things seem different to you today? I think you have changed since yesterday.’
The albino mouse paused from his disapproving gaze for a moment to ponder. He sauntered elegantly from one corner of his cage to another, like a man pacing in his room, engaged in deep thought.
‘You were not looking at me yesterday.’ he said after a long pause.
‘Will you just let go of it! It’s getting very childish now.’
‘No, I am not accusing you. I don’t think I even knew you yesterday. Were you here next to me? Or did you move here today?’
‘Move? How would I move? These constructions, whatever they are, they are heavy. They don’t move an inch.’ complained the tiny mouse.
‘No? Let me try.’
The white mouse was proud of his physical abilities. Belonging to the strain Murphy Roths Large, he boasted a proud lineage of sturdy mice, blessed with size and healing abilities far beyond that of the common laboratory mouse. Although completely oblivious of his ancestry and their inherent physical superiority, something very innate in him, something belonging to his very core, told him he could move the bindings they found themselves in. He could accomplish any physical task if he tried hard enough.
Boosting himself from the corner of his cage, he sped like a bullet toward the opposite wall. Brute strength was not his only asset though. He also had guile. He had deliberately chosen the corner of the cage with the longer diagonal. He knew he could gain more momentum this way and understood that it would take all the momentum he could muster to topple this steel firmament.
He thrashed into the wall with an almighty crash. But the cage didn’t move. It didn’t move at all.
‘Told you.’ said the Agouti mouse, somewhat condescendingly.
The white mouse ignored his comment. His right side hurt a little from the crash. He licked it intently, pretending not to hear the tiny mouse.
‘We can’t get out.’ announced the Agouti mouse, not unsympathetically. ‘He will be here again in a few hours. I will try talking to him this time. I think that’s our only way out.’
‘Who is he?’
‘You know. . , the one who is trapped with us. He is not so bad. He gives us food, even though he doesn’t have to. If we manage to communicate, he will help us.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You mean you haven’t seen him?’
‘Seen who?’
‘The large shiny box, not very different from the ones we are in. But you can’t see inside him. He glimmers in light though, just like the walls we are trapped in. He comes in once every two/three days. What do you mean you haven’t seen him? Where have you been eating?’
The white mouse scratched his chin, concentrating his thought. He couldn’t recall the instance of him last eating. He did remember being fed though; he remembered being hungry and then having his belly fill up as he ate. But that was it. His memory of the last time he ate was purely a sensation.
‘I don’t remember it.’, he conceded at last. It made him uncomfortable to admit to not being able to do something that the little rat could do. He realized that his thoughts towards his fellow inmate were somewhat adversarial.
‘Never mind’ the little rat said reassuringly. ‘He will be here soon. I have counted.’
‘You counted?’
‘Yes. I have been looking at things for a while now, you know. I have started to count the number of times I have bowel movements, in the time that it takes him to revisit us. The last time it was 112. Before that, I churned out 103 pellets in between their visits. Right now, my count is at 93. He will be coming here soon!’
‘Hmm.’
‘He is not unintelligent’, thought the albino mouse, with a tinge of begrudging admiration. That was quite crafty, keeping track of things by keeping count of your pellets. ‘And he also knows a lot more than me, at least about our current situation anyway. But I can surpass him once we are out. If it comes to a head to head fight, I know I am stronger.’
‘What are they like?’ he asked.
‘He is. .well, to be honest, he is a bit simple. He doesn’t do much. Each time he visits, he seems to do the same thing. I was very afraid of them the first few times I saw him, he is gigantic. I played dead every time he came. But then I realized he knew, obviously, that I was not dead. I mean, why else would he be giving food and water to me?’
‘Hmm.’ the white mouse remarked thoughtfully.
The little Agouti mouse looked at him expectantly, as though expecting some praise of his ingenuity. But none came. Nevertheless, he continued excitedly, his multi-pigmented whiskers dancing vibrantly as he spoke.
‘Yes, I knew he didn’t mean me any harm. I mean he is huge, and I am trapped here, unable to hide. If he wanted to kill me, I would be dead by now. Also, I think he helped some mice escape already.’
‘Really?’
‘I am not sure. But I think so.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I remember a whole lot you know. That’s why I think something’s changed. I don’t think I have remembered this much before. You don’t remember as much as I do. No, that’s why you can’t remember seeing them. I mean you must have seen them! He is huge, and he . . .’
‘How do you know he helped other mice escape?’
‘Oh, right! There was another mouse, right where you are now!’
‘No there wasn’t!’
‘Yes, she had grey-brown furs. Her droppings were huge. I remember.’
‘You remember her droppings?’
‘I mean I remember her. She could not talk like you and I are talking. But she was here, right where you are now.’
‘Impossible.’
‘Why?’
‘I . . I don’t know . . I am here now, that’s why. How could she be here if I am here now?’
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
He had just realized that stupidity of what he had just said. He was panicked. He wasn’t thinking clearly. It unnerved him, for some reason, to know that someone was here before, and right now they had gone somewhere else. Also, the little mouse was right. Something’s changed. He is coming to grasps with it now; the change. But he was stumbling a little bit every now and then. If he was not here before, it’s entirely possible that someone else was where he is now. It seemed so clear now. But just a while ago, it didn’t.
They both realized they had things to think about and understand. The white mouse realized he needed to do so more than his tiny fellow occupant. Of course, he could have asked the little mouse till he got his bearings straight, but he was too proud to do so. He didn’t like it very much when the little mouse explained things to him. He resigned himself to circling his cage in a deliberate methodical manner, every so often breaking into a sprint and then stopping himself with a drop and roll and then springing up again. Whatever lay in store, he felt he would need to be in full possession of his physical faculties. The little mouse, on the other hand, just lay in the corner of his cage, opening his mouth distractedly every once in a while, and looking at the ceiling.
There was loud clacking noise on the door as the lock unlatched.
‘He is here.’ whispered the little mouse excitedly.
The albino mouse sprang up from his roll and positioned himself against a corner in the cage. If it comes to take him, he could make a rush to either direction from this position. He didn’t trust these benign giants that the little mouse counted on so much. Come to think of it, he didn’t trust the little mouse much either. He saw the Agouti mouse prance around frantically in his cage, as if looking for something. At last he settled himself in the center of the cage, and stood up tall in a forcefully dignified manner, like an emissary of a great nation, about to convey its message to the whole wide world.
The rusty, battered robotic dispenser slid into the room with low humming noise. It was crudely designed, with head, body and arms all made up of cardboard like metal sheet boxes. Rust had started to creep up its left torso and its right shoulder appeared to have been violently torn open by an explosion of some kind. A mesh of wires, coolant lines and other components protruded out of the shoulder wound, with torn, crooked steel spiraling around it. It followed the narrow-grooved line on the floor at an irregular pace, while it’s red luminous orb-like eyes flickered as though mirroring the unevenness of its pace.
‘It’s . . . huge!’ muttered the great white rat, his posture unconsciously relaxing from its alert springy state from the disbelief what he was seeing.
‘Shh. . .don’t speak!’ snapped the little mouse. He was eyeing the steel giant intently, his face brimming with purpose.
‘Why.. why not?’
‘You will scare it away! We need to speak to it.’
‘I will scare IT away? You think it’s even capable of being. . .’
‘Shut up! Its here.’
The dreadfully worn out robot stopped exactly 1 foot away from the clamped down cage of the Agouti rat. The little rat gazed up at it, his spine almost bending backwards as he tried to take in the sheer magnitude of the steel colossus. His eyes became vacant as his mouth fell open. He said and did nothing.
The robot lifted its clumsy cardboard arm, attached to which was a tiny sachet of food. It positioned the packet on top of the tiny bowl in the little rat’s cage and punctured it open with a shiny needle that flashed out from the base of its wrist.
‘What are you doing?’ hissed the white mouse across his cage to the little one. ‘Say something!’
The little Agouti rat didn’t seem hear a word of what he said. Tiny specks of saliva started to drool from the corners of his dumbstruck wide-open mouth. His vacant terrified eyes didn’t even blink. He started to make a tiny croaking noise.
‘What . .? What are you saying to it?’ asked the white rat in panic. He wasn’t very much invested in the idea of communicating with the shiny giant when the little Agouti rat told him his plan. But now it seemed very important to him. They had to talk to it!
‘Snap out of it! Speak! It’s moving away from you!’
The little fear-stricken mouse shot one final glance at him, seeming to break out of his reverie. Then with a loud final squawk, he fell straight to the ground and lay there, his eyes open and motionless.
Terror gripped the great white rat. All his attributes, his size, speed, remarkable healing powers, all of it, would be worse than useless against what he had just witnessed! He scrambled around helplessly in his cage, going from wall to wall, uselessly trying to grab the bars of the cage that were too large for his tiny hands. In the corner of his vision, he could see the terrible giant banking towards his direction, its cruel eyes pulsating with malice. He felt helpless and small. He was so small!
The murderous robot stopped 1 foot away from his cage, just as it had done with the tiny rat. As it lifted its arms, holding the food sachet with its tortured, mangled fingers, he caught a glimpse of the shiny needle cased at the base of its wrist. That is what must have killed the little rat. He didn’t see it. He didn’t even see the blood. It must be blazing fast.
He slowly backed away from the giant. He didn’t want to make any sudden movement and spur it into action. Face to face with death, his head was clearer now. ‘I have to stay out of the line of that blade.’ he thought with a breathless calm. ‘He can only cut me if I am on its path. If I stick to its sides, the rods of the cage will protect me.’
The needle flashed out of its wrist with unthinkable speed, rupturing the little pouch of feed. He had anticipated this though. He realized it was a methodical killer. Now, would come the death stroke. The one he couldn’t see before.
He stayed still for a moment, luring the giant into a false sense of predictability. As soon as its fingers moved, he lurched to his right, dropping and rolling on the cage floor lest the strike came before he had anticipated it. Crouched to the side of the steel monster’s kill zone, he remained taut and alert, ready to pounce in either direction once it shifted its hand. ‘I could do this all day, monster.’ he thought, filling up with self-reliant courage.
The second strike never came though. In fact, it didn’t even seem to follow his movement or be aware of him in general. Clumsily rotating itself backwards with a somewhat sad worn-out frictional noise, it lumbered out of the room. The door latch locked itself with a click after it exited.
The great white rat still remained crouched, ready to lurch and dash and sprint to save his life. His heart was racing. He realized he could not move. His arms, legs, necks, all of him really, were clamped shut. Did it get him then, somehow, without him seeing it or feeling it? Was he dying?
‘I am.. I am sorry.’
The little squeaky voice nearly raised his already racing heart to such a pitch that it seemed to him his chest would explode. But his arms and legs loosened finally. He collapsed on the ground, feeling more tired than he had ever felt.
‘You are a coward!’, he finally breathed. He had meant his remark to be biting and hurtful. But it came out dry and matter-of-factly. He really was exhausted.
‘I know.’ replied the little Agouti mouse, fidgeting his tiny little hands in embarrassment.
‘Is this what you have always done? Played dead? That was pathetic!’
‘I said I was sorry! And I saw you too you know! I saw how brave you were with your scrambling and whimpering!’
‘You didn’t say you were sorry.’
‘I did! I mean I said I know which means that..’
‘And I didn’t whimper. I didn’t whimper once!’
‘I really am sorry. I have seen it before, but I . .its’ terrifying! I am really ashamed.’
The sudden surrender of the little mouse disarmed the white rat so much that he couldn’t bring himself to complete his rebuke. And it was useless, he realized. What was done was done.
‘You are right.’ he concluded after a while thoughtfully. ‘It does not intend to kill us.’
‘Yes.’ said the tiny mouse, somewhat relieved that his companion was done shaming him. ‘At least, it doesn’t intend to kill us at this moment.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, it may be saving us up, you know. To slaughter us later. I think it’s the one who put us in these cages in the first place.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe it will eat us when it gets hungry. Or there may be some other things in motion. After all, we can’t see what’s happening outside these walls.’
‘That does not make sense. It has food. If it were hungry, why would it waste its food on us, just to eat us later? And what else could it possibly plan to do with us if we are not meant to be food?
‘I don’t know. There could be something. Everything doesn’t have to be about eating you know.’
‘Really? When was the last time you did anything other than eat? Except drop pellets and mate that is?’
‘I never mated. I mean, I don’t think I did.’ said the little mouse timidly.
This personal revelation gave the white mouse a pause. It occurred to him that he had never mated either. But he didn’t say that to the little mouse.
‘I think I would do other things once I get out of here.’ said the little mouse absentmindedly.
‘Like what?’
‘Well, it’s nothing spectacular. I mean it’s not gonna be like a huge ’
‘What is it?’
‘I . . I really got into counting my pellets before you were here, you know. It was difficult to keep track of them all. So, I developed a method. I would take each dropping and place it in front of one of the bars in my cage. I would do it until all the bars would have a pellet in front of it. Do you know how many droppings you need to have one at each bar?’
‘No.’
’12.’ announced the little mouse with proud yet shy smile. ‘Yes, this is how kept count of all the droppings. I like counting. I will do it more when we get out of here.’
‘You will count?’
‘Yes. There are many things to count out there. I can count the little lumps of soil when I burrow into the ground to make a house. I will be able to tell you exactly how many lumps of soil there are in my home!’
The big mouse had to laugh despite himself. ‘I don’t think any mouse has ever done that!’ he said grinning.
‘Yes. I will be the first!’
‘If we both don’t get eaten that is.’ said the great mouse jokingly.
‘Yes.’ agreed the little mouse, going along with the humor with a slight smile.
Safe in the knowledge that another living being could have no use for them other than as food, which they knew to be a necessity for survival, the two mice felt their moods ease. They let their budding minds wonder to the realm of possibility, when they would be free to count, mate or simply decide for themselves what they would do. The great white mouse fell asleep for a while and dreamt. He recalled the smell of tiny furs, belonging to another breed of giant creatures. He had never seen them or heard of them in any way, shape or form, but he saw them now, daydreaming on the memories of his distant ancestors; they were crafting houses much smaller than their size and leaving little pieces of cheese at its doorstep. He saw their infants, who still towered over him and his kind, run away from him in terror as he rushed to leap onto their lap.
‘Do you think it’s scared of us?’ he asked the little Agouti mouse, waking up from his dream.
The little mouse woke up from his own rested state with a long drawn out stretch. His brilliantly tinged furs jingled as he shook of the tiredness from his body. He remained silent for a while as he gave the question some thought.
‘It’s possible.’
‘I think so too!’ replied the great mouse excitedly, feeling ecstatic that he had ideas of his own now. ‘It would make sense. You are right, I think it’s the one who put us in these cages in the first place. It’s afraid of what we would do to it if we are out!’
‘But why though? What could we possibly do to it to make it so scared? You are a large mouse. A very large mouse actually. Did you think you could even put a dent on its stance if you were face to face with it, without the cage?’
The blatant statement of his physical inferiority compared to their captor made the great mouse a little angry. But there was no denying it though. He had seen the sharp claw the giant sported underneath its wrist. He had seen its frightening speed. It would turn him into chewed meat in the fraction of a moment.
‘Maybe it’s much weaker than it looks.’ he responded as a feeble rebuttal.
‘No, I don’t think so. But I am not saying you are completely wrong. Even if it has the ability to crush us with one finger, it could still be afraid of us.’
‘How so?’
‘Maybe it thinks we are much stronger than we are.’ said the little mouse speculatively. ’Or maybe it has a weakness, and we can exploit it somehow. We don’t know it yet, but it knows so that’s why it keeps us locked up.’
‘I don’t think it has weakness like that. I looked at it really closely.’
‘That doesn’t matter. It thinks so. As far as things go for us, that makes all the difference.’
‘This is . . . confusing.’ admitted the white rat, scratching his cheek.
‘Confusing? Of course it is! None of it makes sense! Why are we here? How did we get here in the first place! And how are we speaking like this! My mind keeps racing past itself, thinking of things that don’t even mean anything to me. Do you think there’s any use, any at all, of making sense of things while we are still here??’
The sudden outburst of his little friend took the white mouse by surprise. He realized that not only was his companion scared but he was also prone to fear. A tiny little shake of the ground and the little mouse would drop to the ground, playing dead again.
‘I didn’t ask for answers.’ he said soothingly. ‘And if there are answers, I know you will be the one to find them. You are right. There’s nothing for us to do now other than get out.’
The little mouse’s chest was heaving up and down, his exotic whiskers haphazardly scattered all over his face from the exertion of raising his voice. His eyes were teary.
‘It doesn’t make sense! It has to get us out. It already did it! A bunch of times! I saw it do it! Why won’t it take me? I won’t hurt it. I will help it once I am out. I will. There’s an opening somewhere, I know it. It’s probably too big for it, that’s why it can’t get out. It had let all these other rats out! Why won’t it let me out?’. A sudden and fierce understanding blazed across the little mouse’s blotched face. ‘I know! I know why it won’t! They didn’t do anything. That’s why! They all just took off, not giving a spit about whether it got out or not. Yes! It thinks we are selfish! It thinks we will just leave it here, trapped, while we go about our merry way! And can you blame it! It must have freed 50 rats by now! Even if half of them had stuck around, we would all be out by now!’
‘He’s becoming unhinged.’ thought the great white mouse. ‘For all his craft, he has the temperament of a child. I need to keep him distracted until the giant comes back again.’
‘What’s your count?’ he asked, after a short pause.
‘What?’
‘How many droppings are we at? We need to know when it’s coming again.’
‘Oh. Thirty, I think.’ Said the little mouse uncertainly. It had the intended effect though. The white rat could see on his face that his mind had shifted to numbers. The panic-stricken fear melted away from his face as he concentrated and set his mind to work. ‘He really does love counting.’ thought the great white rat.
The little rat went scurrying around his cage, trying to arrive at a more reliable number for his droppings. The white mouse settled himself to the front corner of his cage and started munching on the food the giant had left. It was fairly delicious, as far as their circumstances went.
‘You said there were 50?’
’50 what?’
‘You said it had freed 50 rats? Have there been 50 other rats here with you before I got here? How long have you been here?’
‘No, not 50. I have been here a while but as far as I remember, there have only been 4 other rats with me. But there are other places too. I just made an estimate.’
‘There are other places?’
‘Yes. I heard the giant go clanking past our door a bunch of times. If it wasn’t coming here, it must have been going to feed other rats in places like ours.’
‘Well, it could be, but how can you be so sure? It could have been going anywhere.’ the large mouse said in his most reasonable voice. He didn’t want to upset the fragile temperament his companion.
‘No, I heard noises, rat noises. They were screeching and raising a havoc. There are other mice around here. I can guarantee you that.’
‘Hmm.’
‘They didn’t help him. That must be it. He let them out and they scurried away. I suppose he doesn’t think much of us anymore. That’s why he hasn’t talked to us yet.’
‘Yes, that is possible.’ Said the large mouse in a non-committal manner.
The little mouse, however, was not content with the dejectedness of his companion. He wanted the great white rat to share his outrage towards his species. He ploughed on.
‘And even if we rule out the noises I heard, which we have no reason to obviously, there were also the rats here, in this very room. There were four of them. Four. He freed all of them. I saw it with my own eyes.’
This stirred the curiosity of the white rat.
‘Yes, you mentioned. What were they like? You said you couldn’t talk to them.’
‘Yes, they would just screech and make loud noises every once in a while. They took little notice of the giant. Mostly, they were content with having food delivered to them. It just goes to show why the he doesn’t trust lazy little. . ‘
‘You mentioned a girl mouse. The brown one. What was she like? The one who used to live in my cage?’
The little mouse bit into his little claw hand, a little annoyed that the great white rat was so unenthusiastic about sharing his indignation. He liked being asked questions though, especially when he knew the answers. So he replied nonetheless.
‘They were all the same really. None of them did anything other than eat and churn out pellets. I tried talking them for as long as I could. But I wasn’t able to make them understand anything.’
‘Hmm.’
‘The brown mouse, the one who lived here before you came in, she did have a habit though.’
‘A habit?’
‘Yes. She wasn’t scared of the steel giant like us. She would look at when it came.’
‘That’s it. She would just look at it?’ said the great white mouse with disappointment. He had expected something more significant.
‘No, she would really look at it. She would stand at the front of the cage, as close as she could get to it, and just stare it. She would follow it with her eyes as it entered and left the room.’
‘That’s a bit . . unusual I guess.’
‘After it would leave the room, she would still keep looking at it. She would follow the noise it made as it moved outside the room, as if she could still see it. She stood still like this for entire days sometimes.’
‘Strange.’ The white rat concluded after a while, unable to make any sense of it.
‘Yes, it was strange.’
Their theorizing of how things were and what they should do came to a halt at this point. They both agreed that establishing a clear communication with the giant was their best option now. The little mouse, however, seemed a little unenthusiastic about the whole prospect now. He shrugged his ears as he agreed to the plan, but his mind seemed to be far away. The great white rat realized that his friend had started to lose hope. After all, he had been in this predicament much longer than he had been. He resolved to raise his spirits later. For the time being though, it seemed best if he was left alone. Munching on the food in his cage (they really were superbly delicious), he dozed off. As his eyes closed shut, he vaguely saw the little mouse move a pellet pointlessly from in front of one bar to another.
The faint wheezy noise of metallic friction cut through the calm tranquility that had settled in. The little mouse froze. The great white rat woke up with a start and was alert at once. It occurred to him that he could sense its presence now.
‘It’s here!’ whispered the little mouse.
‘Do NOT drop dead!’, asserted the great mouse, trying to sound brave.
‘I won’t. I know what to do.’
‘You said that the last time too!’
‘Will you stop! It’s here.’
The door swung open, slowly, and deliberately, with a low screeching noise. The giant rolled in, pushing its mutilated body forcefully across the room. Like before, it approached the little mouse’s cage.
‘Be brave.’ Whispered the great white rat to his friend.
‘I will.’ replied the tiny rat, with a look of fierce intent on his face.
This time he didn’t scurry around his cage, trying to find a dignified stage. As the beast approached him, he held his ground, his body trembling from the effort of keeping the fear out. The giant stopped 12 inches apart from the walls of his cage.
The little mouse flopped to the ground. The white mouse’s heart skipped a beat. He was doing it again! He was going to play dead! And they would be stuck here forever! Despite all his criticism of the little mouse, he knew he didn’t have it in him to talk to the great beast. Even now, despite being somewhat aware of its benign nature, the sight of those violently red glowing eyes terrified him to his very core. He had to fight every inch of his body to not to try and claw his way out of the cage.
He was mistaken though. The little mouse lowered himself to the floor and propped his tiny head against the food bowl. Little by little, putting his whole body to work, he pushed the half-empty container to the front of the cage, towards the beast. He was offering it his food.
The giant stood looming over the little mouse, his tiny bowl and everything else in the Universe. Pushing the food bowl fully against the front of the cage, the little Agouti mouse stepped back, still facing the giant, and lowered his head in a bow.
‘It’s. . yours. The food is yours. I offer . . . I offer you this offering, this food, that you . . . that you kindly gave me. That you bestowed upon us!’
‘What are you doing?’ hissed the great white rat across the cage. Neither the giant nor the little rat seemed to take any note of him. ‘What are you doing? Ask him about our escape!’
The little rat looked terrified. He ears throbbed and his whiskers quivered. He lowered himself further down into the ground, his nose almost touching the floor. His voice trembled.
‘We are not escaping! I assure you we are not! We are very good. . . we are most grateful to be here. We are lucky, we count ourselves lucky, to be here.’
‘What?? Why are you talking like this! Get up!’
He realized that his little friend was not hearing a word of what he was saying.
The metal beast took notice of none of it. Its clumsy box hands shot up towards the cage with a loud screech. It positioned the little food pouch over where the little mouse stood, the rusty brown ring of the food bowl’s print encircling him.
A frenzy took over the little agouti mouse. Straightening his back, with his head still facing down, he spread open his tiny arms.
‘We are thankful. We are so very thankful for this provision. We are thankful …’
The giant twisted its wrist. The blade flashed out, punching a hole into the pouch. The little grains of food poured generously down into the cage, onto the beautiful stringy furs of the little mouse. The tiny mouse let out a shriek. By the time the food stopped pouring, he had disappeared beneath the pile.
Methodically, the beast turned its gaze towards the great white mouse. As it wobbled towards him, little sparks flew out from the maze of wires that sprang from its torn left shoulder. Despite his terror, the great white moue couldn’t help but marvel at the great beast that would surely be his demise. The sheer magnitude of its being held his mind in awe. He could only imagine what the little flickers of light emanating from its shoulder were made of, or what great power they held. At that moment, he resigned himself to its will. ‘It would not be such a bad death.’ he thought stoically. ‘I would die at the hands of a being whose might is unmatched. If anyone told me now everything began with this beast and everything is destined to end with it, I would happily agree and embrace my fate. But I will look at it. Whatever happens, whatever its intentions are, I will look at. I will keep looking at it till the very end.’
The great beast stopped in front of him. His body felt like it had a mind of its own. Every thin filament of his fur was fighting against him, violently pushing, pulling, and shoving to get him to run. His arms, legs, tail, all his extremities, rebelled against him and tried to take him as far away from where he stood. But he fought them. He fought them all. He would look at it. He would look into its brilliant, terrifying bulbous eyes and take in the grandeur of its design, the exquisite carvings of metal that made up its exterior, the intricate mess of wires, tubes and filaments, much like his own furs, that gave life force to this magnificent terrifying creature. He would see it all. And then he would die, content and proud.
Routinely, the steel giant held up the pouch. As its forearm flexed and it began to twist its wrist, his gaze fell upon its face. It was made of solid steel, the pair of luminous orbs on it the only detectable variation in the terrain. A thousand mice could have scratched, clawed and bit on it as if their life depended on it and it would still be here, unscathed, indifferent to the will of lesser beings. A tiny spark flew from its shoulder again. The white mouse shuddered. Something seemed to come loose on its right jaw. It parted open crookedly, a soft blue light glowing at the back of it.
At that moment, his courage failed him. The sight of its terrible grin blew away the last ounce of will that was holding him in his place. He fell to the ground, quivering, whimpering and crawling to a corner. ‘No. Please! No. Don’t . .. No. No! No.’ he pleaded, closing his eyes shut, unable to bear the sight of its terrible grin. He felt it though, he felt its cruel laugh, eternal and all powerful. No matter how hard he closed his eyes, he could not stop feeling it.
Part II
‘Calm down.’ Squeaked the tiny mouse gently.
‘No. Please! No, I . .. No. I can’t. I . . No. .No.’
‘He’s gone. Calm down.’
‘No.No.’
‘He’s gone! Are your eyes closed? I can’t see from here. Open them. He’s not here anymore.’
The great mouse opened his eyes little by little, frightful at first that the monster would see it. There was no sign of it. He dragged himself from the corner he had backed away in and pulled himself up.
‘Are you alright?’ asked the little mouse.
‘Y. . Yes. I am alright.’
He looked at his little friend. He was still in the pile of grain the monstered had poured on him. But he had spread them around a little so there was room for him to move. Lazily leaning against the mound on his back, he fastidiously cleaned the grains off his whiskers one by one and licked his hands clean.
‘I thought you were dead.’ said the great white mouse pointlessly. He knew he sounded stupid.
‘Haha. It would not be such a bad way to die, would it? Being smothered by a mountain of food!’
The white mouse took a gulp of water from his bowl. It tasted sweet. He drove his whole head into the little pond, wetting his head and back, and shrugged the water off his furs as he put a lump of grain into his mouth. He was finally feeling like himself again.
‘What happened?’ he asked.
‘You saw what happened? Didn’t you? Were you like this the whole time?’
‘No, I wasn’t. And you were scared too! I saw you. I saw everything till it . .’
‘Till you got mad scared and lost your senses?’ finished the little Agouti mouse with a good-natured smile.
‘No! I only got frightened when it was near me. It smiled at me. I think it was mocking me.’
‘No, I don’t so.’
‘Yes, it was. How would you know? You were too busy gulping food through your nose!’
‘Yes, I don’t know what that was. He poured the food on me, not on the bowl. I think I pleased him, that’s why.’
‘Pleased him? What are you talking about? Why were you talking to it like that?’
‘Like what?’
‘Like, all pleading, praising and saying all kinds of nonsense! And why didn’t you mention anything about getting us out?
The little mouse took a pause. For a moment he seemed to gather his thoughts. He stood up straight, taking his back off the mound of food.
‘I don’t think we should escape.’ he said, with a conviction that had been altogether been absent in their journey so far.
‘What?’
‘It occurred to me at the last moment, you know. And it’s good that it did, if it hadn’t it would be really embarrassing. And not to mention, ungrateful too!’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘There’s a reason we are being kept here. These cages we are in, it’s for our own safety I think. He knows we don’t know much and that we will try to escape. He knows we will get ourselves in trouble. He’s put us here to keep us safe.’
‘Have you gone insane?’
‘Look, I know it may seem a little out there. But I know I am right. For the first time since I have been here, I . . ‘
The little mouse chattered on but the sight of him engrossed the great white rat so much that he soon stopped listening to him. All the jittery panic that was so evident only twenty pellets ago had disappeared completely from his friend’s face. His whiskers, which were a messy blotch of panicky streaks, were once again orderly and radiant with a brown tinge. They rustled gently as he spoke, like leaves in a tropical summer breeze. At that moment, he felt a sense of yearning in him, a deep sense of an unsatisfied want that didn’t seem to have any whereabouts.
‘He’s not going to harm us. He’s protecting us.’ concluded the little mouse.
‘He is?’ asked the great mouse uncertainly, his eyes glistening.
‘Yes.’
‘But, . . but how do you know? We don’t know. . . we have no idea. We have no way of seeing what’s . . ‘
‘I know, I know. I am not saying I KNOW. It’s not that. It’s. . ‘ the little mouse paused uncertainly.
‘What? What is it?’
‘I felt it. I felt it. He was here. And I felt it.’
‘Felt it? You felt what?’ asked the great white mouse hungrily. He didn’t know what was happening to him. He had to clench his jaw tight to keep himself from breaking down sobbing in front of his little friend. There was a very deep hollow inside him, it seemed. But something was gushing into it, filling him up. It made him scared, ecstatic. He was braver now than he had ever been before. And he was vulnerable too.
‘I felt safe. No, not just safe. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I was right where was I supposed to be. And wherever we end up, whatever is done to us, it’s meant to be. He is here for us. The way we are, the life we are living, however confusing it is, it is the best life we could have ever had. We don’t have to worry ourselves sick with figuring things out anymore’
The great white rat wanted to respond but his voice broke as he tried to speak. He passed it off as a croak, taking great care to hide himself from his little friend.
‘I know it sounds silly to you. But you need to. . ‘
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘No, it doesn’t sound silly me. I . . I think I felt it too.’
Part III
The pellets dropped and the days passed by, and with regular sustenance and each other’s company, they were content. Expressing ritualized gratitude to their caretaker became a familiar and comforting part of their whole day. With their unique minds, they accomplished feats of thought that no mouse had ever, or probably will ever, accomplish. They become very dear friends. When the steel giant carried away the great white rat, the little mouse shed tears joy and sorrow; he shouted over the sound of his friend’s screeching and howling and told him to be brave. He was going where he was meant to be. You can trust the giant. He would never harm you. Where you are going, you would be happy forever. Much happier than you have ever been.
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