Year 1984
His little feet raced down the dusty path. One hand gripped his cotton bag, while the other held his loosely tied pagdi (head wrap), trying to keep it in place as the playful breeze pulled at it like a teasing friend. The breeze swirled around him, rustling the trees, shaking the grass, and spinning the dust into tiny whirlwinds that seemed to follow him along the way. He laughed, enjoying the cheerful companionship of the wind, which felt like it was his alone.
He soon reached the grand gate, towering and imposing as always. Its magnificence never failed to mesmerize him. The gatekeeper, who had known him for months, gave him a familiar nod and let him in. Without pausing, he darted through the gate and hurried toward the house, his excitement bubbling over.
"Beta Slow down!" called Mrs. Thakur's voice from the veranda. He turned briefly, catching her kind smile, then adjusted his messy pagdi and sprinted toward the room he knew so well.
A single knock and the door swung open to reveal Vardaan. As soon as he saw his friend, he burst into laughter. Still laughing, he stepped aside to let his friend in.
"What are you laughing at?" Radha asked, removing pagdi.
"You! You're a mess, Radha!" Vardaan teased with a grin.
They both burst into laughter. Radha quickly removed her head wrap, threw it aside, and playfully tried to catch Vardaan, chasing him as he ran through the garden. She followed him everywhere, her laughter ringing out as they roamed the vast space together.
Breathless, Vardaan finally stopped, leaning against a tree. "How do you manage this, becoming a flawless boy?" he asked, catching his breath.
"Radha grinned. 'I have to, your parents don't like you to play with girls, and my parents don't like me to play with boys. So,when I leave the house, I'm a girl, and when I reach here, I'm a boy. And most of all, your garden - it's like a platter of adventure! Squirrels, rabbits, horses? You have everything here. No one in the village has anything like this. Just add a dog and a few cats, please!'
"And you, why do you prefer to play with me?" asked Radha.
Vardaan said with a playful smirk, "you're my adventure."
Radha raised an eyebrow. "Your adventure?"
"You're my role model, Radha," he said sincerely.
"Role model? What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"It means I admire you," Vardaan explained. "I want to be like you - free, spirited, full of life."
"You're stupid!" Radha said with a laugh. The two resumed their games, running and laughing, the garden becoming their shared world of endless fun.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Year 1996
The audience rose to their feet in a thunderous ovation as Vardaan took his final bow. His performance - a comedic yet elegant portrayal of a woman - had left the crowd in awe. The precision of his movements, the subtle humor, and the effortless grace with which he carried the role were unmatched. No woman could emulate the elegance he brought to the stage.
In the changing room, Vardaan gazed at his reflection in the mirror, captivated by the image staring back at him. He adored the person he saw, a version of himself that felt truer than the one the world knew. At almost twenty years old, Vardaan had spent two years in this role, living his authentic self on stage, far away from his conservative village.
Everything had changed after he turned twelve. He'd never understood the feelings that set him apart from others. His father, sensing something, had enrolled him in martial arts, horse riding, and boarding school, hopingto mold him into the image of a "perfect son." But none of it could suppress the truth inside him.
It was a pamphlet from a traveling troupe - sent to him by Radha, his childhood confidante, who knew everything about him. The pamphlet mentioned they were looking for a comic actor who could portray a woman's character. That simple message changed his life. Without hesitation, Vardaan joined the show. He immersed himself in the character of a woman, a role that allowed him to express parts of himself he had long kept hidden. By then, he had already been performing in that one show, and it had become a way for him to truly live his authentic self.
Then came the phone call. His mother, inviting him to celebrate his twentieth birthday at home, mentioned that his father had planned a grand party for the occasion. Facing his parents and the others had always been a performance, one he never quite enjoyed. But he found solace, at least on stage, he could live his true self. Despite his discomfort, his love for his parents ran deep. He couldn't deny their wishes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the party, Thakur Saheb - Vardaan's father, so called because he was the chief of the village - delivered a speech brimming with praise for his eldest son. He assured the villagers that Vardaan would honor and uphold the family's legacy. He did not forget to mention the significance of Vardaan's name, saying, "After many prayers, we were blessed with him, and that's why we named him Vardaan - a boon. He filled our home with happiness.
"As the evening wore on and the guests dispersed after dinner, the house grew quiet. Vardaan's mother retired to bed, and that's when his father approached him in private, his expression heavy with worry."
"Whyare you doing this?" he asked, his voice trembling. "This... acting as a woman?"
Vardaan hesitated. "Because it's who I am, Father."
It was impossible for him to hide it anymore. The words hung in the air, heavy and incomprehensible. Thakur Saheb's face twisted in pain. "I don't understand what you're saying, but... I love you. I can't accept this, and you know that. I just don't know what to do. I'm not well, son. I thought I could handle everything, but it seems like a distant wish now."
Thakur Saheb's fear had finally confronted him, and his love for his son warred with his inability to reconcile the truth. Vardaan knew his father had always ignored the signs. He had tried everything within his power to steer Vardaan away from this path, but now the truth was undeniable.
"Despite it all, Vardaan knew his father loved him. Seeing his father so helpless, Vardaan sank to his knees. 'I will never do anything to dishonor you or our family. I promise.' Tears welled up in both their eyes."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Months after returning to the city, Vardaan received the call. His father had passed away. Grief-stricken, he returned home to perform the last rites. The weight of his father's legacy pressed down on him as the days went by, and he withdrew from the stage, ignoring calls from his producers.
Producers called Radha; they had her number as his alternative number. Radha visited Vardaan as soon as they called her, her voice steady but her eyes brimming with urgency.
"It's been months now; it's time you should go back to work. Try and tell your mother everything. And anyway, you can't stay here. It's better to stay away and preserve the name of your legacy," Radha said.
"So, you're saying I should run away like you do everytime they try to get you married to someone?" Vardaan shot back, bitterness lacing his words. "Because you want to chase adventure for the rest of your life? My mother lost her husband."
Radha paused, taken aback. "I'm sorry," she added quickly, guilt softening her tone. "I didn't mean that. I just?" she faltered, her voice cracking. "I just don't want you to suffer like this," she said firmly. "For years, you've been acting as a man in front of everyone. Now, the real you perform on stage, when will you live your life freely? When will you show the world who you truly are?"
"Look," he said, "you stand for your values so fiercely that you abandon your parents whenever you feel like it. But don't they also have the right to stand by theirs? They're trying to hold onto their world while we're trying to break free into ours."
But Vardaan, when are you going to find a way to truly live, without running or hiding?"
"Each one of us has our own values and perceptions, Radha," Vardaan said, his voice quiet but firm. "My dad loved me. He just couldn't understand what I was feeling. He begged me to continue life the way it is. And I'm not hiding from anyone, nor do I have to show my gender to anyone. I'm just trying not to hurt anyone."
He paused, collecting his thoughts.
"Radha, they're not ready for the change. The people here look up to us for guidance. Change will come, but not suddenly. Slowly, steadily. We can't rip them from their roots; we can only sow new seeds and let the change grow, bit by bit."
"And in the meantime?" she asked. "Will you keep suffocating inside?"
Vardaan fell silent, his thoughts heavy. After a long pause, he spoke. "What if I carrymy father's legacy and still live my life? Will you help me, Radha? But only if you're not just looking for a marriage with some good man and settling down - you can also live your true self as an adventurer."
Radha smiled; her expression filled with determination. "Of course," she said. "If it involves adventure, I'm in."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Six months later, Vardaan and Radha married in a modest ceremony. Vardaan convinced his mother to let them live in a secluded mansion on the outskirts of the village. To his surprise, she didn't protest the request; perhaps she understood him better than he thought. He promised to visit her daily for lunch and to continue the weekly meetings that his father had held with the villagers, as well as any urgent meetings.
They hired servants not from the village, but from the city, and had them sign non-disclosure agreements. Strict rules were set - no one was allowed to enter the mansion without permission.
Whenever possible, Vardaan continued his shows in the cities, while Radha maintained her adventurous lifestyle. Sometimes, she took Vardaan along with her.
On that 5-acre private land, he was able to be himself. He didn't need to prove anything to anyone or show the world who he was. All he needed was the space to breathe freely. He felt lucky to have Radha by his side, someone who truly understood him.
His little feet raced down the dusty path. One hand gripped his cotton bag, while the other held his loosely tied pagdi (head wrap), trying to keep it in place as the playful breeze pulled at it like a teasing friend. The breeze swirled around him, rustling the trees, shaking the grass, and spinning the dust into tiny whirlwinds that seemed to follow him along the way. He laughed, enjoying the cheerful companionship of the wind, which felt like it was his alone.
He soon reached the grand gate, towering and imposing as always. Its magnificence never failed to mesmerize him. The gatekeeper, who had known him for months, gave him a familiar nod and let him in. Without pausing, he darted through the gate and hurried toward the house, his excitement bubbling over.
"Beta Slow down!" called Mrs. Thakur's voice from the veranda. He turned briefly, catching her kind smile, then adjusted his messy pagdi and sprinted toward the room he knew so well.
A single knock and the door swung open to reveal Vardaan. As soon as he saw his friend, he burst into laughter. Still laughing, he stepped aside to let his friend in.
"What are you laughing at?" Radha asked, removing pagdi.
"You! You're a mess, Radha!" Vardaan teased with a grin.
They both burst into laughter. Radha quickly removed her head wrap, threw it aside, and playfully tried to catch Vardaan, chasing him as he ran through the garden. She followed him everywhere, her laughter ringing out as they roamed the vast space together.
Breathless, Vardaan finally stopped, leaning against a tree. "How do you manage this, becoming a flawless boy?" he asked, catching his breath.
"Radha grinned. 'I have to, your parents don't like you to play with girls, and my parents don't like me to play with boys. So,when I leave the house, I'm a girl, and when I reach here, I'm a boy. And most of all, your garden - it's like a platter of adventure! Squirrels, rabbits, horses? You have everything here. No one in the village has anything like this. Just add a dog and a few cats, please!'
"And you, why do you prefer to play with me?" asked Radha.
Vardaan said with a playful smirk, "you're my adventure."
Radha raised an eyebrow. "Your adventure?"
"You're my role model, Radha," he said sincerely.
"Role model? What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"It means I admire you," Vardaan explained. "I want to be like you - free, spirited, full of life."
"You're stupid!" Radha said with a laugh. The two resumed their games, running and laughing, the garden becoming their shared world of endless fun.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Year 1996
The audience rose to their feet in a thunderous ovation as Vardaan took his final bow. His performance - a comedic yet elegant portrayal of a woman - had left the crowd in awe. The precision of his movements, the subtle humor, and the effortless grace with which he carried the role were unmatched. No woman could emulate the elegance he brought to the stage.
In the changing room, Vardaan gazed at his reflection in the mirror, captivated by the image staring back at him. He adored the person he saw, a version of himself that felt truer than the one the world knew. At almost twenty years old, Vardaan had spent two years in this role, living his authentic self on stage, far away from his conservative village.
Everything had changed after he turned twelve. He'd never understood the feelings that set him apart from others. His father, sensing something, had enrolled him in martial arts, horse riding, and boarding school, hopingto mold him into the image of a "perfect son." But none of it could suppress the truth inside him.
It was a pamphlet from a traveling troupe - sent to him by Radha, his childhood confidante, who knew everything about him. The pamphlet mentioned they were looking for a comic actor who could portray a woman's character. That simple message changed his life. Without hesitation, Vardaan joined the show. He immersed himself in the character of a woman, a role that allowed him to express parts of himself he had long kept hidden. By then, he had already been performing in that one show, and it had become a way for him to truly live his authentic self.
Then came the phone call. His mother, inviting him to celebrate his twentieth birthday at home, mentioned that his father had planned a grand party for the occasion. Facing his parents and the others had always been a performance, one he never quite enjoyed. But he found solace, at least on stage, he could live his true self. Despite his discomfort, his love for his parents ran deep. He couldn't deny their wishes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the party, Thakur Saheb - Vardaan's father, so called because he was the chief of the village - delivered a speech brimming with praise for his eldest son. He assured the villagers that Vardaan would honor and uphold the family's legacy. He did not forget to mention the significance of Vardaan's name, saying, "After many prayers, we were blessed with him, and that's why we named him Vardaan - a boon. He filled our home with happiness.
"As the evening wore on and the guests dispersed after dinner, the house grew quiet. Vardaan's mother retired to bed, and that's when his father approached him in private, his expression heavy with worry."
"Whyare you doing this?" he asked, his voice trembling. "This... acting as a woman?"
Vardaan hesitated. "Because it's who I am, Father."
It was impossible for him to hide it anymore. The words hung in the air, heavy and incomprehensible. Thakur Saheb's face twisted in pain. "I don't understand what you're saying, but... I love you. I can't accept this, and you know that. I just don't know what to do. I'm not well, son. I thought I could handle everything, but it seems like a distant wish now."
Thakur Saheb's fear had finally confronted him, and his love for his son warred with his inability to reconcile the truth. Vardaan knew his father had always ignored the signs. He had tried everything within his power to steer Vardaan away from this path, but now the truth was undeniable.
"Despite it all, Vardaan knew his father loved him. Seeing his father so helpless, Vardaan sank to his knees. 'I will never do anything to dishonor you or our family. I promise.' Tears welled up in both their eyes."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Months after returning to the city, Vardaan received the call. His father had passed away. Grief-stricken, he returned home to perform the last rites. The weight of his father's legacy pressed down on him as the days went by, and he withdrew from the stage, ignoring calls from his producers.
Producers called Radha; they had her number as his alternative number. Radha visited Vardaan as soon as they called her, her voice steady but her eyes brimming with urgency.
"It's been months now; it's time you should go back to work. Try and tell your mother everything. And anyway, you can't stay here. It's better to stay away and preserve the name of your legacy," Radha said.
"So, you're saying I should run away like you do everytime they try to get you married to someone?" Vardaan shot back, bitterness lacing his words. "Because you want to chase adventure for the rest of your life? My mother lost her husband."
Radha paused, taken aback. "I'm sorry," she added quickly, guilt softening her tone. "I didn't mean that. I just?" she faltered, her voice cracking. "I just don't want you to suffer like this," she said firmly. "For years, you've been acting as a man in front of everyone. Now, the real you perform on stage, when will you live your life freely? When will you show the world who you truly are?"
"Look," he said, "you stand for your values so fiercely that you abandon your parents whenever you feel like it. But don't they also have the right to stand by theirs? They're trying to hold onto their world while we're trying to break free into ours."
But Vardaan, when are you going to find a way to truly live, without running or hiding?"
"Each one of us has our own values and perceptions, Radha," Vardaan said, his voice quiet but firm. "My dad loved me. He just couldn't understand what I was feeling. He begged me to continue life the way it is. And I'm not hiding from anyone, nor do I have to show my gender to anyone. I'm just trying not to hurt anyone."
He paused, collecting his thoughts.
"Radha, they're not ready for the change. The people here look up to us for guidance. Change will come, but not suddenly. Slowly, steadily. We can't rip them from their roots; we can only sow new seeds and let the change grow, bit by bit."
"And in the meantime?" she asked. "Will you keep suffocating inside?"
Vardaan fell silent, his thoughts heavy. After a long pause, he spoke. "What if I carrymy father's legacy and still live my life? Will you help me, Radha? But only if you're not just looking for a marriage with some good man and settling down - you can also live your true self as an adventurer."
Radha smiled; her expression filled with determination. "Of course," she said. "If it involves adventure, I'm in."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Six months later, Vardaan and Radha married in a modest ceremony. Vardaan convinced his mother to let them live in a secluded mansion on the outskirts of the village. To his surprise, she didn't protest the request; perhaps she understood him better than he thought. He promised to visit her daily for lunch and to continue the weekly meetings that his father had held with the villagers, as well as any urgent meetings.
They hired servants not from the village, but from the city, and had them sign non-disclosure agreements. Strict rules were set - no one was allowed to enter the mansion without permission.
Whenever possible, Vardaan continued his shows in the cities, while Radha maintained her adventurous lifestyle. Sometimes, she took Vardaan along with her.
On that 5-acre private land, he was able to be himself. He didn't need to prove anything to anyone or show the world who he was. All he needed was the space to breathe freely. He felt lucky to have Radha by his side, someone who truly understood him.
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