I was recently asked “ If I could go back in time and tell myself to do something different, what would I say to myself?” Honestly I don't know what I would say to myself. To me life is full of countless multiply mistakes, but the fact is that you take it and move on from it. In the past I used to get upset when someone would talk bad about me, call me out my name, I used to wanna argue,fight to prove a point. I've overgrown that i don’t like arguing with people, fighting with people to prove a point, an i don’t care about what people say or think about me, because only i know how i truly feel inside, and who i truly am as long as i stay true to who i know i really am an what i am still growing into i’m okay. I use to be mad at mom for giving me away not even mad i use to hate her for it, but as i'm getting older and growing i realize there is no point to hate her or be mad at her, because yeah she had to do what what she thought was best for us she hasn’t been in life for 11 years I’ll be 18 in 1 month she might even remember my birthday or know my favorite color or know i like to draw, play sports, listen to music,or even watch anime. I used to be involved in everything, and i mean everything, but now i stay to myself for a reason because if i stay to myself then who would i have a problem with. My cousin and sister joke around that my life is boring but honestly it isn't. I might not talk to anyone or do things with people but it’s not because i’m boring or don’t wanna be around anyone i’m just doing things that make me happy. I love drawing, watching art tutorials, Watching anime, listening to R&B/love and lil bit of hip hop music, I love talking to my friends and hanging out with them whenever i can, I love taking care of people before i take care of myself should i maybe not but it’s who i am an how i see myself, and i LOVE school my grades might not be the best an i know they aren’t i got lazy and i can admit that just online isn’t for me, and if you want me to be honest i’ve never been so disgusted with myself I’ve never failed ALL my classes at once i might have been failing 2 or 3 but never all. I don't like when people bring up my past life there’s no reason for it it makes me upset, and i don’t like when people tell me i’ma be like my mom because i’m not i am so much better than my mom have i made mistakes like her yes, but i’m not her i never will be. I wanna be a lawyer,  firefighter, police officer, and to go to college for art and design at SCAD UNIVERSITY. I’ve talked to the people there and it's amazing and I know that’s what's going to make me happy at the end of the day. I don’t like negativity in my life, because it causes me to be negative and that’s not a side I like about myself because of what it brings out of me and causes me to do, and I'm not blaming anyone for my actions or choices I make  because I can blame myself for that. I can say I've grown a lot, and I am going to continue to grow, and let nobody get in the way of that. I am and will always do what makes me happy because I’m choosing to stay positive. To me life isn’t hard, it's only as hard as you make it so if you choose to be stressed, or get mad, or frustrated, and negative. Life will be hard because you're making it. If you worry about yourself, stay true to who you are, do what makes you happy, surround yourself with people who are going to lyft you up and speak positively upon you, then life is easy. Life is very simple, it's up to you to choose how simple you want it to be. You can choose to learn from it or not. The choice is yours i’ve chosen mine, and i’m choosing to do what’s gon make me happy because i live for me nobody else.

Well it’s day two of me writing this memoir (recap) . I was asked if I could go back and tell myself to do different things than I would tell my old self. Still till this day I don't know it’s not something that just comes to me. I mean i can tell myself a lot of things to change the past but they are too simple, and it’s not what i’m looking for i’m looking for that one big WOW fact i would tell myself. I may never know the answer to that question. I believe everybody's life is different, it's not the same. People always say I was your age, I did what you did or I know how you think or I know what you're feeling , or going through. I tend not to believe any of it, because everyone is their own person nobody is the same so you don't know how others might feel u might have experienced something like they went through, but not the same and yes everyone was once somebody's age before my sister is 11 i was once 11 once 8,12,3,16. Here i am 17 one month away from being 18 my friends an family was once 18 does that mean i will go through the same thing they went through no it doesn’t age is just a number, and ik you guys here that all the time but it is i could be 25 and wanna do the same thing when i was 15 could it be wrong or right yes, but it was my choice to make. I guess what you can say is that I'm trying to prove that everyone is different in their own way and has a choice in life. Never let anyone tell you who or what you can be in life. Most people think that I'm a happy kid who comes from a good family and has nothing going on in life. I'm here to say it’s not true. When I was young in the 2nd grade my mom gave me up. I had to be 8 or 9. She was going to put me in the system along with my 2 brothers and 1 sister, but my grandma came to get us to try to give us a fresh start. I didn’t want a fresh started i wanted to be with my mom i was doing whatever i could i always thought she would come back and everyday when she didn’t hate grew in me for her i hated her for so long as i grew i just stopped caring because i knew she was never coming back, and after i let go an forgave her i felt better because that was the first step for me to start to hill.