Raj was on his way back home. Boarding an auto-rickshaw, he guided the driver to the destination. Soon, he was the caught up in the never-ending traffic jams of Mumbai. He didn’t mind it any more. He was not in a hurry to reach home. In spite of the honking and cacophony outside, his mind went back 20 years…
Raj and Simi had married in the most astonishing way, i.e., at lightening speed for an arranged marriage. A meeting between the families called by her neighbour had taken this proposal forward. He asked for a second meeting with her alone to rule out any possibility of coercion or second thoughts either of them would have had. A few minutes of discussion and both went back to their families with the green signal to go ahead to fix the dates and formalities. A week later the engagement was held and the same week-end the marriage.
They embarked on a journey not having known each other earlier; every day, every moment was a new experience with all its uncertainties. With each passing day, week and month the bond became stronger. A year later they welcomed their son to their family. Five years later their daughter joined the gang. Now began the challenges of managing the kids, work and responsibilities. It helped that his parents were with them. While the grandparent-grandchild relationship was good, it often led to issues due to the generation gap. Then the older-gen members had their own style of doing things which led to constant friction. While all parties involved had the best interests of everyone in mind, it always came out that one did not understand the other or that one did not make efforts to solve the issues.
Raj had often intervened when arguments broke out. Now he had enough of it. His patience had drained to the bare minimum. To add to that, Simi seemed to have lost interest in any form of intimacy. Even a hug or a mischievous pinch was responded with a scorn. If one day, the reason they could not have a quiet moment was because there were other members around, another day it was because household work was to be completed. If none of these could be subscribed to, it was just a push and moving away indicating nothing of it was required. Raj had always respected her privacy and space. It seemed too complicated now. Neither seemed to initiate anything nor wanted to talk about it.
As the vehicle turned around the corner, a tiny board caught Raj’s eye. It was an NGO working towards collecting clothes, toys, books, shoes, etc. He had never noticed it before. “Why not check it out…”, he thought. He paid his fare and alighted. Walking into the office, he felt it was a decision he would never regret. The NGO worked through volunteers collecting articles of use for distribution to the needy on streets and child-care centres. He volunteered right away. He made use of all the WhatsApp groups he was part of. Advertising their needs on it, calling up all possible contacts and collecting articles – this became his routine every evening. While he was the same at home giving time to all, the NGO related work kept his mind away from all the negativity that was building up between him and Simi. Possibly, this was the catalyst required to keep the marriage from disintegrating…
Raj and Simi had married in the most astonishing way, i.e., at lightening speed for an arranged marriage. A meeting between the families called by her neighbour had taken this proposal forward. He asked for a second meeting with her alone to rule out any possibility of coercion or second thoughts either of them would have had. A few minutes of discussion and both went back to their families with the green signal to go ahead to fix the dates and formalities. A week later the engagement was held and the same week-end the marriage.
They embarked on a journey not having known each other earlier; every day, every moment was a new experience with all its uncertainties. With each passing day, week and month the bond became stronger. A year later they welcomed their son to their family. Five years later their daughter joined the gang. Now began the challenges of managing the kids, work and responsibilities. It helped that his parents were with them. While the grandparent-grandchild relationship was good, it often led to issues due to the generation gap. Then the older-gen members had their own style of doing things which led to constant friction. While all parties involved had the best interests of everyone in mind, it always came out that one did not understand the other or that one did not make efforts to solve the issues.
Raj had often intervened when arguments broke out. Now he had enough of it. His patience had drained to the bare minimum. To add to that, Simi seemed to have lost interest in any form of intimacy. Even a hug or a mischievous pinch was responded with a scorn. If one day, the reason they could not have a quiet moment was because there were other members around, another day it was because household work was to be completed. If none of these could be subscribed to, it was just a push and moving away indicating nothing of it was required. Raj had always respected her privacy and space. It seemed too complicated now. Neither seemed to initiate anything nor wanted to talk about it.
As the vehicle turned around the corner, a tiny board caught Raj’s eye. It was an NGO working towards collecting clothes, toys, books, shoes, etc. He had never noticed it before. “Why not check it out…”, he thought. He paid his fare and alighted. Walking into the office, he felt it was a decision he would never regret. The NGO worked through volunteers collecting articles of use for distribution to the needy on streets and child-care centres. He volunteered right away. He made use of all the WhatsApp groups he was part of. Advertising their needs on it, calling up all possible contacts and collecting articles – this became his routine every evening. While he was the same at home giving time to all, the NGO related work kept his mind away from all the negativity that was building up between him and Simi. Possibly, this was the catalyst required to keep the marriage from disintegrating…
Support Saji Thomas
