Most of the things I remember from my childhood revolve around being screamed at, threatened, and hurt. There was this adult I trusted whom used to hit me when she had no where else for her anger to go. I was an easy target because I couldn't fight back and it was easy for her to portray me as a lier. Herr words were, ' you are a child, no one will believe you. I am the adult, I have this right.' I trusted this person greatly, when she wanted to make me bind to her will she would shower me with love and kindness. Making believe she was really a good person who was misunderstood. She claimed it wasn't her fault and that it was everyone around her including me. I was the child whom always told the truth and was hated for it. I have a strong sense of justice and believe right is right and wrong is wrong. I am also not the child whom was created by the man I call father. There where family members whom called me a battered child, a charity case. I was often told that the man I called father would never love me because I am not his own. But that man treated as though he loved me. He would stand up for me against his family. But at the end of the day I was always treated different compared to his 2 children whom he helped create. I was around 5 when many things happened quickly.
As children we are unaware of the adult world and adult thing. For instance romanic intimacy being a big one. As kids we go through our parents things, myself I found porn magazines between my parents mattresses. Apparently 2 of my cousins had found similar items, whom are around my age. As kids we experimented with each other unaware of what we were doing. We thought it was funny and felt like big kids. When this was brought to light due to us being caught in the act, all hell broke loose in the family. Blame was being shifted from one parent to the next, we were berated and screamed at. Their mother called me a whore and said I assaulted her children. Calling me a bitch, and reminding us that I am not their family and must have caught this diseased mind from my dad. To this day my mother says she never took me in to see a counselor. I remember clearly her and another person whom I cant recall taking me to see someone in a small room. This person gave me a doll and asked me to tell them what happened and it all goes black.
Sometimes later to which I am unsure of the time line. I remember being with this 'aunt' and my 2 cousins at their new home. She was supposed to watch me for some reason to which I do not recall. They had a massive field in the back that we played in always unsupervised. We weren't allowed to play inside. Another incident happened with me and my cousins, children still unsure of what is right and what is wrong. Just that it got us hurt but the adults. We all agreed in fear to stop and not to bring up this incident. I recall many times the boys were allowed to come inside and I was forced to stay out. We were told the neighbors dog was visious and to stay away from it. A couple of times the dog came to the fence are started at me growling. I saw a massive hole in the fence that the big dog could get through. I was scared of getting hurt but I did not fear this dog. He walked the fence line with his eyes on me, came to the hole and walked through. Still with a low growl he looked around and saw it was only me. He walked right up to me and smelled me, looked around and then layed at my feet. Still looking at me he sighed and I sat down with him I. I buried my hands in his fur and began crying. He gently licked my face as I sat sobbing. My cousins appeared out of nowhere and saw him. He jumped to his feet growling aggressively and they took off running. He left me and went back through the fence. Their mother came out yelling at me and dragged me in the house. I was scared of her and hungry. She often refused to feed me. She locked me in her dark room and refused me any food or drink. I wasn't even allowed to use the restroom. I banged on the door begging to be let out crying loudly for help. Out of anger she came in and stuffed my mouth with cotton balls and said if I was so hungry I could eat this and to shut up. She hit me a few times and locked me back in the dark. I cried for my parents and curled up in the bed. My cousins came to the window with the a/c unit and shared their food with me and begged me not to tell. When my parents arrived she told them many lies. To which my cousins told them the truth. I was never left with her again.
My uncle used to play these jokes on us which weren't so funny. I would often freak out screaming and crying in fear he would hurt me and my 2 little brothers. I was a parentified child and felt a strong need to protect them. I don't remember what he did but my brothers were terrified and I feared for their safety. I took them to the bathroom and locked us inside, I braced myself between the bathroom door and bathroom closet door and he tried to open it. My brothers hid in the bathtub screaming and sobbing in fear. I was screaming for help yelling he was trying to hurt us. I don't know what happened next because I blacked out. Next things I know my parents and sitting in the living room talking with him. My brothers and I were in our room and they all sounded angry.
My brothers and I were playing in the side yard. I am closer to I believe 10 at this time. My youngest brother is 6 years younger than I am and I believe him to be around maybe 4 ish years old. Our middle brother is 4 years younger than I, which I believe put him sounds 6. We were playing in the water and blowing bubbles, our mother was inside the apartment which was next to the yard. A strange man came up to us talking through the fence wanted to take our picture, to which I told him no and hid the boys behind me. I told him to leave and that I would scream. He tried to take our picture anyway and I threw our bubbles on him screaming for mom. I told the boys to run and we ran inside. Mom met us half way as I said a strange man tried to take our picture. Mom ran to the sidewalk and saw said man running and he was already blocks away.
In the elementary school I was in, a lot of people were not nice. The principle was the biggest one. I was different, I liked dressing with many different colors and mismatched clothes. I loved my overalls and didn't care for dresses. I was constantly bullied and mu bullied were never held accountable. I was always left out, until the other odd kids were treated the same. I remember a time when one of the kids dragged off the concrete circle by my overalls. He got into a screaming fight and they shoved me. Other kids got involved and they began to gang up on me as the teacher came out. I had already ran away and hid behind the tree. I told the teacher my side but ofcourse the other kids stuck together and told many lies. To which I had gotten in trouble for. This is what began the horrors I would face with the principle of the school. She already disliked me and make remarks on how ungirl like I am and that I disgust her.
Said principle would lock me in her tiny metting room refusing me food and drink and restroom breaks. She wouldn't even contact my parents. The sweet woman we called Ms. Little whom worked in the office was always kind, caring and loving to us children. She would start to see these things happening and take the steps to fix the problem. She always called my parents when she knew I was locked inside this little room. Ricky the janitor was every childs favorite, he was silly, kind and loving. We would sing to him 'Hey hey Ricky you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind.' Our version of the Mickey mouse song to show our appreciation of him. He would always stand up for children who were wrong by the adults at the school. One time Ms. Little had found me locked in that room and I was crying because I had to go potty. The pricple was in her office bathroom and Ms. Little held herr finger to her mouth to remind me to be quiet. She unlocked the door and let me out. She took me out of the office, said my parents are on the way and to use the bathroom. Ricky happened to be walking by and headed me crying. I had not made it to the toilet and had wet myself. I stayed in the bathroom mortifed and sobbing. Ricky cracks the door and calls out to me. I respond and tell him I had an accident. He told me all would be well and to come out so he could take me to get clean clothes. I came out and he wrapped his flannel around me and picked me up. I told him what happened and he was angry. Ms. Little sees us and rushes out asking what happened and if I was okay. Ricky told her what happened and she expressed her sorrow. She said I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Your parents should be here any minute. He principle had come out and was angry that I wasnt in the little room any more. Yelling began to happen between all 3 adults and I buried my head into Rickys chest and covered my ears. My parents walk in the door heated as they make pace to the rest of us. I was taken to the car and we went home. On the way out I hear me father yelling at the principle.
Part one; end.
As children we are unaware of the adult world and adult thing. For instance romanic intimacy being a big one. As kids we go through our parents things, myself I found porn magazines between my parents mattresses. Apparently 2 of my cousins had found similar items, whom are around my age. As kids we experimented with each other unaware of what we were doing. We thought it was funny and felt like big kids. When this was brought to light due to us being caught in the act, all hell broke loose in the family. Blame was being shifted from one parent to the next, we were berated and screamed at. Their mother called me a whore and said I assaulted her children. Calling me a bitch, and reminding us that I am not their family and must have caught this diseased mind from my dad. To this day my mother says she never took me in to see a counselor. I remember clearly her and another person whom I cant recall taking me to see someone in a small room. This person gave me a doll and asked me to tell them what happened and it all goes black.
Sometimes later to which I am unsure of the time line. I remember being with this 'aunt' and my 2 cousins at their new home. She was supposed to watch me for some reason to which I do not recall. They had a massive field in the back that we played in always unsupervised. We weren't allowed to play inside. Another incident happened with me and my cousins, children still unsure of what is right and what is wrong. Just that it got us hurt but the adults. We all agreed in fear to stop and not to bring up this incident. I recall many times the boys were allowed to come inside and I was forced to stay out. We were told the neighbors dog was visious and to stay away from it. A couple of times the dog came to the fence are started at me growling. I saw a massive hole in the fence that the big dog could get through. I was scared of getting hurt but I did not fear this dog. He walked the fence line with his eyes on me, came to the hole and walked through. Still with a low growl he looked around and saw it was only me. He walked right up to me and smelled me, looked around and then layed at my feet. Still looking at me he sighed and I sat down with him I. I buried my hands in his fur and began crying. He gently licked my face as I sat sobbing. My cousins appeared out of nowhere and saw him. He jumped to his feet growling aggressively and they took off running. He left me and went back through the fence. Their mother came out yelling at me and dragged me in the house. I was scared of her and hungry. She often refused to feed me. She locked me in her dark room and refused me any food or drink. I wasn't even allowed to use the restroom. I banged on the door begging to be let out crying loudly for help. Out of anger she came in and stuffed my mouth with cotton balls and said if I was so hungry I could eat this and to shut up. She hit me a few times and locked me back in the dark. I cried for my parents and curled up in the bed. My cousins came to the window with the a/c unit and shared their food with me and begged me not to tell. When my parents arrived she told them many lies. To which my cousins told them the truth. I was never left with her again.
My uncle used to play these jokes on us which weren't so funny. I would often freak out screaming and crying in fear he would hurt me and my 2 little brothers. I was a parentified child and felt a strong need to protect them. I don't remember what he did but my brothers were terrified and I feared for their safety. I took them to the bathroom and locked us inside, I braced myself between the bathroom door and bathroom closet door and he tried to open it. My brothers hid in the bathtub screaming and sobbing in fear. I was screaming for help yelling he was trying to hurt us. I don't know what happened next because I blacked out. Next things I know my parents and sitting in the living room talking with him. My brothers and I were in our room and they all sounded angry.
My brothers and I were playing in the side yard. I am closer to I believe 10 at this time. My youngest brother is 6 years younger than I am and I believe him to be around maybe 4 ish years old. Our middle brother is 4 years younger than I, which I believe put him sounds 6. We were playing in the water and blowing bubbles, our mother was inside the apartment which was next to the yard. A strange man came up to us talking through the fence wanted to take our picture, to which I told him no and hid the boys behind me. I told him to leave and that I would scream. He tried to take our picture anyway and I threw our bubbles on him screaming for mom. I told the boys to run and we ran inside. Mom met us half way as I said a strange man tried to take our picture. Mom ran to the sidewalk and saw said man running and he was already blocks away.
In the elementary school I was in, a lot of people were not nice. The principle was the biggest one. I was different, I liked dressing with many different colors and mismatched clothes. I loved my overalls and didn't care for dresses. I was constantly bullied and mu bullied were never held accountable. I was always left out, until the other odd kids were treated the same. I remember a time when one of the kids dragged off the concrete circle by my overalls. He got into a screaming fight and they shoved me. Other kids got involved and they began to gang up on me as the teacher came out. I had already ran away and hid behind the tree. I told the teacher my side but ofcourse the other kids stuck together and told many lies. To which I had gotten in trouble for. This is what began the horrors I would face with the principle of the school. She already disliked me and make remarks on how ungirl like I am and that I disgust her.
Said principle would lock me in her tiny metting room refusing me food and drink and restroom breaks. She wouldn't even contact my parents. The sweet woman we called Ms. Little whom worked in the office was always kind, caring and loving to us children. She would start to see these things happening and take the steps to fix the problem. She always called my parents when she knew I was locked inside this little room. Ricky the janitor was every childs favorite, he was silly, kind and loving. We would sing to him 'Hey hey Ricky you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind.' Our version of the Mickey mouse song to show our appreciation of him. He would always stand up for children who were wrong by the adults at the school. One time Ms. Little had found me locked in that room and I was crying because I had to go potty. The pricple was in her office bathroom and Ms. Little held herr finger to her mouth to remind me to be quiet. She unlocked the door and let me out. She took me out of the office, said my parents are on the way and to use the bathroom. Ricky happened to be walking by and headed me crying. I had not made it to the toilet and had wet myself. I stayed in the bathroom mortifed and sobbing. Ricky cracks the door and calls out to me. I respond and tell him I had an accident. He told me all would be well and to come out so he could take me to get clean clothes. I came out and he wrapped his flannel around me and picked me up. I told him what happened and he was angry. Ms. Little sees us and rushes out asking what happened and if I was okay. Ricky told her what happened and she expressed her sorrow. She said I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Your parents should be here any minute. He principle had come out and was angry that I wasnt in the little room any more. Yelling began to happen between all 3 adults and I buried my head into Rickys chest and covered my ears. My parents walk in the door heated as they make pace to the rest of us. I was taken to the car and we went home. On the way out I hear me father yelling at the principle.
Part one; end.
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