I was in the livingroom standing close to the giant fish tank. It went almost to the ceiling and was deep and wide. The night had already been going for awhile, at this point i thought i was untouchable. I had on blue jeans and a black longsleeve, my hair was long and blonde. Standing about 5'6" at 170 lbs i was rocking my sneakers. Nick had been on what looked like a rampage. The house was in disarray, Mary-Ann wa clutching her ribs looking a mess. Robert is in the kitchen holding the broom twisting it in hand. Ross is in the hall way looking in my direction. Jordan one of my brothers is sitting in the chair looking like a scared trapped animal. He was frozen in time. I don't know how we got on to the subject, but the fact i was gay got brought up. His face changed colors fast and it contorted in to something sinister. How eyes narrowed was his face drew inward. "What the fuck did you just say?" He said in an angry volital way. My uncles Robert and Ross begin to speak up in the background saying things like "Oh come on Nick." "Lets not." "Stay cool man."

"I'm gay, I like girls." I said again, not realizing what was to come. How fists ball up right as he lunges for me. Yelling he exclaimed "No daughter of mine will be a fucking gay!" As he repeats himself through clenched teeth i see this grown ass man sitting in top of me with his hands wrapped firmly around my throat. Not a whisper of air in or out was allowed. I could feel my pulse throb in his hands. My ears became washing machinesand my chest felt like it was to collaps. As the curtins began to fade i catch a glimps of Ross gripping Nick up but his shirt. A loud harsh rush of air was taken as crashes and thuds take place. I gasp for air running into the living room way frm where the house came from. I look up to see Nick and Ross fighting and Robert snaps the broom in half shaking it at him. I couldnt make out what was said but i knew it was in my defence.

Trying to gain back my berrings, being 13 in this situation isn't something you are prepared for. Never would i have thought my dad to hurt me because if my sexual orientation. My mom and daddy Cole didn't hurt me. They still love me and great me food. But this is not what i thought would happen with him. I guess not everyone is okay with it. And some people are not capable of loving unconditionally. As the sound comes back to me and i dont feel as dizzy. Nick locked eyes on me and charged. "Argh!!!!" He screamed out as he tackled me out an already broken window. I bounced off the pourch and up against the railes. I scrambled to my feet. I felt every little piece of glass that tried to become one with me. I felt like a pin cushon. I felt something hot and wet run down the side of my left cheek. I thought maybe i was crying, so i left it alone. I got some scraps and cuts but i thought not much. I took off running and jumped the gate. I took off into the woods.

I come out the woods abig down the road. I happen across a neighbor my age, "Hey, my old mans lost it. Can i sit with you a minute for safety. I dont wanna be alone please." He nods his head and waves his hand. I don't remember much other than us talking about what happened and things he likes. It was a nice distraction, a moment to breathe. I head out to go home, i dont remeber how we got to this point but we do. I sneak in to the house and hide in my closet until the next day. I had giant stuffed animals in the room that were their that i hide under when i need a safe place and can't run. Always the following day Nick always pretends he doesnt remember anything. No one talks about it and they act like all is well. I was 13, this was the summer of 2006. The year he married my step mom Mary-Ann. June 6th, 2006 (6-06-06) the year of the beast he said. This was the summer i went to Vegas and then to my Bio dads for the first time. A part of a glimps into the life that is me.