One morning I wake to feel different than before. A little more full inside and a little less empty. Walking to the bathroom I run into my littlest brother, I feel compassion and sorrow. I reach out to hold him and he pulls away. He looks at me as if to ask 'Who are you?' Unsure of what to do I tussle his hair and go about my business. After going to the bathroom, I wash my hands and face. As I look into the mirror I am startled and pull away. Quickly I hid my face in the towel. "What the hell was that? That was not me!" Asking myself this knowing no one will respond, I hear a little voice say. 'What do you mean? You don't recognize me?' Scared of someone being in the room with me, I turn in a mad rush with my back to the wall. Scanning the room as I breathe heavily, I see no one and ask out loud. "Who is there?!" There was no response only silence. I look back at the mirror only to see myself, and I sigh in relief. 'What's wrong? Did I scare you?' My lips! My lips are moving on their own! Its as if there is someone else inside of me. "Who the hell are you? What do you want? And why are you..." I pause realizing how ridiculous I sound, hoping no one will hear me, I continue. "Why are you inside of me?" Feeling stupid and crazy I wwt my face once more, and the voice responds. 'I am me, you are you, you are I, and I am you. I don't want anything, it is you who wants me. I am inside you because you invited mein. You created me, don't you remember?' Every time that voice speaks I feel less and less like me. As if I am slowly fading away. Feeling weaker and weaker at each encounter. I fear to ask anymore or speak again.
I walked out of the bathroom and headed back in my room. Wondering why it felt so different, I opened the blinds and looked out. The sun is shining and its rays are so warm and inviting. I feel as if I am me again, as if I am the only one inside of me. But a cloud moves over the sun and the warmth goes away. The feeling as if another person, another being, inside me is back. My walls are no longer the misty violet purple they once were. The hand prints of my mother, father, grandfather and brothers are no longer there. My walls look the color of a violent bloody red, and the hand prints are now claw marks. My back turned to the door, and my hands on my face. I breathe violently trying to find my way out of this nightmare. Foot steps behind me walk up the hall and stop at the door. The handle shakes, the door slowly opens and foot steps enter, the door slams shut. I feel someones breath on my neck, terrified of the dream, I scream to awaken myself. A hand clasps over my mouth and an arm wraps its self around me. This body feels so familiar, the warmth, the hate, the pain. A voice says to me, 'Be quiet, no one can hear you.' I smell blood on the hand over my face, and the warmth I felt is now fading. It turns me to face it, still its hands onme. I try not to tremble as I turn to see the monster. Overwhelmed by who I see, I pull back and fall. 'What? Don't look so afraid. Don't you recognize me?' it smiles at me, blood; there is blood all over its body, the house feels so empty and quiet. "What do you want?" I ask with fear caked in every word. It crouches over me with a gun in hand. 'You. I want you. You asked me to do this. Why are you backing out now?!?you asked me to do this!!! You wanted this!! Now! Lie still, while I blow you away.'
Looking myself in the face, knowing it wasn't me. I smile as she puts the gun to my head. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She speaks with death hanging on every word. 'I am really going to enjoy this.' she smiles as if to say 'i have won. There is nothing you can do.' Slowly she starts to pull the trigger, and I rush my hands up forcing the gun to her head. She stops, looks at me and smiles. 'After all these years, you finally fight back.' I laugh as if it is no big deal, but I know she can smell my fear. Her smile full of lies, her laugh full of hate and her words full of poison. Smiling at her knowing she is willing to kil the only one keeping her alive, I reach up and touch her face. She looks at me as if I just did something more wrong than killing others. She looks as if she is going to panic, I think she lost her screws. You can see a crazy look in her eyes, as if nothing matters. Holding thegun in one hand and having her other hand around my throat, she screams as if someone stabbed her. Her voice ringing through the house, I hear it bounce off the walls and come back to see us once more. The blood the covers her body drips off of her as if she is the one bleeding. Her eyes as black as the abyss, her skin as pale as sheets, with her teeth as red as roses. It is like she is peering into my mind and soul, as if she is trying to take control. She yells with anger and furry doused in every word, 'I will kill you! Even if it is the last mother fucking thing I do! You are nobody! You should just die already! Die!!Die!!Die!!!!' we fight over the gun, rolling all over the floor, thrashing and bashing everywhere. Fighting like mad women going at each others throats. It is like a war between life and death. And so far, it seems death is winning. She keeps pulling the gun to my head over and over again while she screams at me. 'Die!! Die!! Give me the fucking gun!' finally I am on top, she screams, twists and turns trying to keep the gun from me. But it wont work this time, this time, I'll be the one who wins. I feel asd if I am in a trans, all I can hear are the muffled words she screams at me.'Get off! Get off! I'll fucking kill you, you unworthy bitch! I am the end of you! You will pay for this! You asked me to do this! Don't you dare betray me!! You promised we would do this together! I thought you loved me!!' I finally free the gun from her hands, feeling sonumb and empty, as if nothing matters now. I feel as if I should say something, so I say in a tone as if the world had ended. " Yes, I did love you. But you stopped loving me. You asked me of this, before I asked you. You asked me in so I came. You told me you no longer wanted to live. So I said I would end it. You cried and begged me, I could not refuse. I am here because of yo, you are too weak, I am strong. Now go to sleep, while I sing you the death song."
I hum a tune soft and sweet for her, she fears to sleep because she knows what will happen. { Hush now, my little one. Close your eyes and drift away. The monsters only want to play. Hush, hush. No one wants to listen to your cries. All they hear are your foolish lies. Hush now, my little one. Close your eyes and drift away. The monsters only want to play. They'll chew you up and spit you out. They'll gnaw on your bones and turn you inside out. Hush, hush no one wants to hear your cries. All they hear are your foolish lies. Hush now, my little one. Close your eyes and drift away. The monsters only want to play.} Tears stream from her eyes as if the river no longer could stay inits banks. So empty, so dead, it is as if there is nothing left. Her eyes so deep and dark, I cant help but to hate her. She never loved me, not once in my life. It was al a lie, she pulls out a knife and plunges it into my skin. I cry out inpain but it helps me none. I know no one can hear me but her. And I know she will do nothing to help me. I rip the knife out of her hands and throw it at the wall, it sticks. Heart face is so stiff as if there is no reason for it to change, but a smile pulls at the corner of her mouth. I know she never loved me, I just know it. My blood is pouring out over me, and I cant seem to get a grip on reality at all. She seems so happy with my blood all over her body, as if she planned this from the beginning. I shall not let her have her victory; I will not lose to her, not now or ever. I know everything she told me was a lie; she never cared for anyone but herself. My eyes are fading, I feel so weak, her hands rush up to mine. She reaches for the gun, and pulls it from my fingers. We fight over it once more,I lose control and latch my teeth into her neck. She screams and drops the gun to the floor, I pull away from her and take the gun as my own. She has that wild look in her eyes again, she reaches for it once more, I pull away and she thrusts her fingers into my knife wound. I hit her in the throat with the gun and pull the trigger. A screech rings through my ears, and I awaken in the hospital. They inform me that I have been in a coma, fighting for my life for 9 years. The war, it is finally over.
I walked out of the bathroom and headed back in my room. Wondering why it felt so different, I opened the blinds and looked out. The sun is shining and its rays are so warm and inviting. I feel as if I am me again, as if I am the only one inside of me. But a cloud moves over the sun and the warmth goes away. The feeling as if another person, another being, inside me is back. My walls are no longer the misty violet purple they once were. The hand prints of my mother, father, grandfather and brothers are no longer there. My walls look the color of a violent bloody red, and the hand prints are now claw marks. My back turned to the door, and my hands on my face. I breathe violently trying to find my way out of this nightmare. Foot steps behind me walk up the hall and stop at the door. The handle shakes, the door slowly opens and foot steps enter, the door slams shut. I feel someones breath on my neck, terrified of the dream, I scream to awaken myself. A hand clasps over my mouth and an arm wraps its self around me. This body feels so familiar, the warmth, the hate, the pain. A voice says to me, 'Be quiet, no one can hear you.' I smell blood on the hand over my face, and the warmth I felt is now fading. It turns me to face it, still its hands onme. I try not to tremble as I turn to see the monster. Overwhelmed by who I see, I pull back and fall. 'What? Don't look so afraid. Don't you recognize me?' it smiles at me, blood; there is blood all over its body, the house feels so empty and quiet. "What do you want?" I ask with fear caked in every word. It crouches over me with a gun in hand. 'You. I want you. You asked me to do this. Why are you backing out now?!?you asked me to do this!!! You wanted this!! Now! Lie still, while I blow you away.'
Looking myself in the face, knowing it wasn't me. I smile as she puts the gun to my head. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She speaks with death hanging on every word. 'I am really going to enjoy this.' she smiles as if to say 'i have won. There is nothing you can do.' Slowly she starts to pull the trigger, and I rush my hands up forcing the gun to her head. She stops, looks at me and smiles. 'After all these years, you finally fight back.' I laugh as if it is no big deal, but I know she can smell my fear. Her smile full of lies, her laugh full of hate and her words full of poison. Smiling at her knowing she is willing to kil the only one keeping her alive, I reach up and touch her face. She looks at me as if I just did something more wrong than killing others. She looks as if she is going to panic, I think she lost her screws. You can see a crazy look in her eyes, as if nothing matters. Holding thegun in one hand and having her other hand around my throat, she screams as if someone stabbed her. Her voice ringing through the house, I hear it bounce off the walls and come back to see us once more. The blood the covers her body drips off of her as if she is the one bleeding. Her eyes as black as the abyss, her skin as pale as sheets, with her teeth as red as roses. It is like she is peering into my mind and soul, as if she is trying to take control. She yells with anger and furry doused in every word, 'I will kill you! Even if it is the last mother fucking thing I do! You are nobody! You should just die already! Die!!Die!!Die!!!!' we fight over the gun, rolling all over the floor, thrashing and bashing everywhere. Fighting like mad women going at each others throats. It is like a war between life and death. And so far, it seems death is winning. She keeps pulling the gun to my head over and over again while she screams at me. 'Die!! Die!! Give me the fucking gun!' finally I am on top, she screams, twists and turns trying to keep the gun from me. But it wont work this time, this time, I'll be the one who wins. I feel asd if I am in a trans, all I can hear are the muffled words she screams at me.'Get off! Get off! I'll fucking kill you, you unworthy bitch! I am the end of you! You will pay for this! You asked me to do this! Don't you dare betray me!! You promised we would do this together! I thought you loved me!!' I finally free the gun from her hands, feeling sonumb and empty, as if nothing matters now. I feel as if I should say something, so I say in a tone as if the world had ended. " Yes, I did love you. But you stopped loving me. You asked me of this, before I asked you. You asked me in so I came. You told me you no longer wanted to live. So I said I would end it. You cried and begged me, I could not refuse. I am here because of yo, you are too weak, I am strong. Now go to sleep, while I sing you the death song."
I hum a tune soft and sweet for her, she fears to sleep because she knows what will happen. { Hush now, my little one. Close your eyes and drift away. The monsters only want to play. Hush, hush. No one wants to listen to your cries. All they hear are your foolish lies. Hush now, my little one. Close your eyes and drift away. The monsters only want to play. They'll chew you up and spit you out. They'll gnaw on your bones and turn you inside out. Hush, hush no one wants to hear your cries. All they hear are your foolish lies. Hush now, my little one. Close your eyes and drift away. The monsters only want to play.} Tears stream from her eyes as if the river no longer could stay inits banks. So empty, so dead, it is as if there is nothing left. Her eyes so deep and dark, I cant help but to hate her. She never loved me, not once in my life. It was al a lie, she pulls out a knife and plunges it into my skin. I cry out inpain but it helps me none. I know no one can hear me but her. And I know she will do nothing to help me. I rip the knife out of her hands and throw it at the wall, it sticks. Heart face is so stiff as if there is no reason for it to change, but a smile pulls at the corner of her mouth. I know she never loved me, I just know it. My blood is pouring out over me, and I cant seem to get a grip on reality at all. She seems so happy with my blood all over her body, as if she planned this from the beginning. I shall not let her have her victory; I will not lose to her, not now or ever. I know everything she told me was a lie; she never cared for anyone but herself. My eyes are fading, I feel so weak, her hands rush up to mine. She reaches for the gun, and pulls it from my fingers. We fight over it once more,I lose control and latch my teeth into her neck. She screams and drops the gun to the floor, I pull away from her and take the gun as my own. She has that wild look in her eyes again, she reaches for it once more, I pull away and she thrusts her fingers into my knife wound. I hit her in the throat with the gun and pull the trigger. A screech rings through my ears, and I awaken in the hospital. They inform me that I have been in a coma, fighting for my life for 9 years. The war, it is finally over.
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